wow... what a night. i'm definately not looking forward to this floor meeting tonight. too much fucking drama last night, after the colleen/joanna incident, we had a little floor meeting just a 5 of us..... and ramiz and mel's friend al, were there. we resolved that, eventually. and then moved on to the topic of samir. mel went down to talk to him, and when she came back up, she was all red, slammed her door and cried her little heart out. long night... eventually she came out, we talked, ramiz came back upstaires, after punching the door in anger so hard he popped his baby finger. had to put ice on it. samir came up... talked to mel, while me and joanna were standing (and sitting) around... we left, went downstaires, a couple minutes later, samir came down, went in his room, we went back upstaires, talked with mel. ramiz came up after that, and jeff and colleen came back inside from the balcony and missed the whole ordeal. we explained it to them, and had another long talk. afraid that that convo with samir and mel was samir's true self. afriad that if it was, what he might do. suicide? ramiz left, and tried to consol him or whatever, i don't know what he did. came back up a bit later, and the 7 of us had a loooong convo, which led to religion and philisophy.

anyway, all in all, it was so unexpected, and too much in one night. i'm honestly nervous about the floor meeting tonight. *sigh* jeff is over... again. a little too often, and even i, with such tolerance, is starting to lose it. he's just here ALL THE TIME. gawd...

there's just so much going on the past two days, like seriously. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i need security. nothing's going to come out of saturday night, but even so, i can't stop thinking about it. why? well.... why not? i don't know! ok, and wednesday.... holy shit. i can't believe i am doing this. i need a hug... or a fucking therapist.