y'ellooo
so today was pretty boring... i sat around the house all day in my pj's watching tv and ... stuff. fixed up my blog a bit (as u can see) but it's not finished, cuz there's this one part i don't really know how to change. i also decided to put together a little box of stuff for matty, because i don't feel i need them anymore. anyways... when my mum came home from work, i got a call from elena about moving in the house (in waterloo) and we arranged a way for me to get keys and stuff. and i also called her back about paint colour restrictions (NONE! yiayyy! i can paint my room any colour! yiay! red and black chalkboard, here i come!) anyywhoo... so then i decided to take the car out for a little ride, get out of the house. i was planning on going to mike's place to say hello, and give the box to matty, then go to Lansing for paint, CanTire for paint and STC, to ask about my job. so i got to mike's place, and it was all very nice because we were just chit chatting about lots of stuff and he's going to help me with some.... umm.... other stuff. yes... umm... anyways, i stayed there a bit longer than intended, so when i left, it was 10 minutes to 8. i checked my phone for messages, and to my surprise, i had 3! i ignored my mum's, some private number, and called back the one with a number but no name. apparently, it was Ebony (sp?), the manager woman from Cultures at STC. so then she told me i could go to stc now and just close the store, there's another guy there, and he's by himself. so i make my way to stc, introduce myself (he said he was actually expecting me at 6.... oopsie!!) and started working. oh, and that other guy was mark. he's a cool guy. heh heh. the work was pretty good. like, there wasn't a lot of customers because it was really close to 9pm... i sweeped, mopped, wiped... everything. it was fun. a good workout! seriously... anywhoo... i got off 10 minutes before 10pm. it was awesome. :) so... yes... i'm employed again! wicked... hehehe! oh, and the manager woman likes speaking chinese to me. haha i came home, and my mom told me when she called my house, she was talking to my mum, like, asking her if she's from hong kong, and my mum said yes, and she's like, me too! hahaha oh man... hilarious...

anywhoo.... so now i'm free and i'm also looking forward to lose my innocence some more. it's horrible... but i keep getting told off about it and crap. and i guess... well... i've given it a lot of thought... guess i shouldn't judge a book by its cover... sort of thing. but we'll see what happens... if i die, then... oh well!

anyways... nothing else to post...
matty- if u want to talk about anything, call my cell anytime. bye!

what a day... whooo...
ok work was actually pretty busy, a good thing. i never got the chance to talk to my boss til after work. and yes, he got mad. we argued for a whole fuckin half hour. at one point, he actually said he wouldn't let me quit. LOL oh man.. i actually laughed in his face. so much shit went on... said he woud only pay me for one day, said i didn't learn anything because i only stayed an hour and a half on monday (training day), and when i said i did learn something he replied "you learned something in one hour? nooo." and i said "how do you know whether or not i learned anything?" and he said "one hour? you didn't learn anything!" and i said "i remember what you told me." and he said "you remembered? nooo"

hahaha! so jokes... such a waste of my time. and he repeated of lot of stuff he siad cuz a) he was stupid and b)he likes going around in circles, and still not make any sense. and I had to repeat myself several times because a) he's stupid, and b) he don't know english, and kept on asking "what? huh?" (oh and for the record, he calls everyone "she".. even for guys, even if it's the wrong prefix ... ie "give this to she" while pointing to a man) aaaaaanywhoo... it was crapity doo. and at first he wanted to pay me for only one day, even though i worked 3. and yes, i yelled at ihm. hahaha then he gave me an application form to fill out so he can pay me. god... what a bitch. i called my mom, and my mom said just fill it out, and if he doesn't pay you, we'll sue him. hahaha!! wicked. anyways, then my mom came and picked me up. hahaha she's like "i can tell you're mad.. you shouldn't take the bus by yourself when you're mad." hahaha! yiay!
anywhoo... so yea, when my mom got there, he acted all nice and shit. fucker. anywhoo... i think he's going to pay me for three days now, so... GOOD.

aaaaaaaaanyways... i get to do an interview with some buffet place tomorrow. yiayyy...

alright... anywhoo, i'm outtie. i'll post more when i have something interesting to post about.

halllooo! oh man.. i'm sooo giddy right now! why, you ask? I GET TO LEAVE YORKDALE!!! oh man.. i'm sooo happie. ok, well, today after work, carmen and i went to stc to apply to more places to work. (carmen, btw, waited for me for the (entire day! i owe her sooo much!) anywhoo! so yes... we went to stc (got free ice cream cones) and i went to the Cultures there and told one dude there that i wanna get transfered. and he gave my resume to the manager, and she called me! like.. 15 minutes ago! soooo cool!! and she spoke Chinese too. my mum picked up, and gave me the phone, and i was thinking "who'd call for me and speak chinese??" but anyways! yea, she said i could work there, so i guess i'm gonna start on friday. whoo hoo! but if i do work there, i might stay for the rest of summer. i really wanted jack astor's, buuuut this woman was nice enough to call me and she sounded so nice, nad i don't wanna move around so much. bahhh!! i actually get choices now! yiay... oh well, we'll see what happens.

i'm thirsty. no more typing for me.

work sucks. too much standing and not enough doing. gotta look for more stuff to do, miannn. carmen's coming with me tomorrow. i was like, "what the heck are u gonna do for friggin 3 hours?!" and she's like "um.. i'll have lunch." hahaha what a cutie.
i want to buy some new rags for my boss. the ones they have are so fuckin narsty. and stuff there is so expensive, i actually felt bad for the customers. well... yorkdale, what do u expect. ah well.

aaanywhoo... oh yea.. yiay i'm prolly gonna go to the gym later. yiay! they should name it the ACI Gym, since so many aci ppl go there. lol
alright, anyways, i gotta practise.

mmm turkey... little davey got tofturkey stuck in my head.

okay! anyway, wow, what a day.. wnet dt with carm job searching again before my training and her interview. it was so fun! great day out, sunny and everything! then we went to yorkdale, and walked around a bit.. went to the It store, and i got a really cute shot glass and carm got two keychains. ok then she walked me up to Cultures and i started. it was pretty crappy. basically, the other employee (she wouldn't tell me her name.) started showing me and this other girl around and where everything was then the manager/boss dude did the same thing. it was craptacular. he actually pointed out all the fuits in cups out, like i wouldn't know what a strawberry or a peach is. pahh... and it was really hard understanding him cuz he spoke pretty softly and he has this accent. not cool. anyways, he asked if we had any questions, so we had to think of some. it was stupid, i thought, because as a good trainer, he should've told us. anyway... oh, and one other thing, he never asked for ANY documentation. at all. i brought my S.I.N card just for that. i thought he'd want us to fill in some paper work, but nope. well, overall, i thought he was a pretty disorganized manager/boss. i didn't like it at all. i think he hates me too. whateves. anyway, so now i'm looking for a new job. hahah i applied at jack astor's again. i reeeallly want it. well, if carmen actually gets a job at yorkdale, then MAYBE i'll stay. but no guaruntees.

alright anyways, that's 'bout it fer now. damn.. i'm already not looking forward to tomorrow.

i'm a loser. go me! took this from timmy on friendster.
~~~

First best friend: De- Ying, from CDF

First real memory of something: i was in HK, eating breakfast with my family at one of those local fast food joints. i was like 2.


First car: don't have my own... yet

First date: never had an actual date becuz all my ex's were pooey

First job: at my parents' office? doesn't really count...

First screen-name: i don't remember...

First self purchased album: Celine Dion

First pets: Dust-Ball, my poor hammy hamster

First piercing: at age 8...ears (will get more in the near future)

TATTOO: none

First enemy: mmm... probably Lisa Lin..hahaha cuz she had this huge crush on the same guy as me in gr.7 (good laugh for those who remember KC)

First trip: when i immigrated to Canada at age 3 (i'm an immigrant AND a fob! beat that!)

With Friends: huh?

First play/musical/perform: probably the Cabaret in gr.6

Last cigarette: NEVER

Last big car ride: big eh.... hmm... probably yesterday

Last library book checked out: some book about Taoism

Last beverage drank: Nestea

Last food consumed: noodles in soup

Last crush: wow... long time.. probably a year-ish?

Last phone call: midnight-ish, with Carm

Last tv show: i don't remember

Last time showered: this morning

Last shoes worn: my black boots

Last song heard: iiiidon't remember

Last item bought: artsy books (Monet!)

Last soda drank: don't remember.... probably Coke

Last ice cream ate: mint chocolate. don't remember when, but it's mint... that's what i ever have nowadays

Last time wanting to die: couple days ago

Last time scolded: last night

Last shirt worn: my red one with a flower on it

Last website visited: www.wlu.ca

wow.. i've been sitting in fromt of this thing for like half an hour.. maybe i should post something. ummm... anyways... yea. i'm kinda bored of posting about how my life sucks and how much i wish i were back in waterloo, but there isn't anything else to post about. now i can't even go back to do a gig. boooooerns.

alright i'm bored, i'm gonna go play hearts.

***
yay jon came over and we watched a movie. awww yay haven't seen that kid in sooo long!
apparently carmen called me at 1pm today but thaks to my wonderful brother, i got the message at midnight. fucker. anyways, yay carm got two interviews! congrats!! oh man, i reeeaallly hope she gets one of them! either one would be sooo cool! eeeee i'm so excited! eaton center, then yorkdale tomorrow, whoop dee doo! it's gonna be a good day... :)

dinner was soooo fun last night! YIAY! we stayed there 3 hours even though we had a two hour limit. whateverrr hehe! afterwards, since Ching and Yuan had to meet up thier friends to go K-ing, and Ken went...somewhere, and Doug went home, the rest of us didn't really wanna leave either. so yea, we went to Morningside and watched Kill Bill 2. hahha hilarious, since Peter and I were actually the only ones legal to go in. but the other three "kids" got in anyway. it was pretty good, much less gory. after the movie, i had to wait til Benson's dad came to pick him and Nick up, and Edward's mum to pick him up. then i drove Pete home, and then drove myself home. :) all in all, a great night. yiiiaayyy

oh yea, emilia called two days ago telling me THS's got more teacup bunnies, an albino one and a black one. but since i'm living here during the summer now, i can't get it yet. booooo. oh well, i'll just wait til the next batch. speaking of living here... job starts (kinda) tomorrow! yiayy! oh man... i'm so nervous/anxious/excited! ahhhh! it better be sunny tomorrow.. or else.

m: thanks for letting me call last night. i actually do feel a bit better. my mum and i are still rocky. whatever, i don't really care. and i guess i'm not going to hong kong after all. meh. i really don't give a fuck. i'd much rather go to brampton and do a psych exam. ha. wicked... house all to myself for a month? damn... life is good when ur by yourself.

in other news... my room is slowly but surely getting cleaner. ahhh... and dinner with China trip gang tonight-- yippee! need to email Catherine... she never called me back about the gig that i can't go to anymore. boo. i really wanted to go too. oh well... i'm sure there will be other opportunities.

post more later

what a turn of events. three days, i can't stand it already. let me go back to waterloo. please. i need to get out of this fucking messed up house. too much pent up anger now. i need to let it out.
it's all too easy. everything is too easy. i appreciate what they're doing for me, but maybe that is the problem. it's too easy. i can't take it anymore. money ruins lives, let me tell you. i'd rather live in happiness forever and be poor. at least i'll be happy. at least everything i have, everything i accomplish is for myself.

i hate being totally financially stable.

ok wow. just... WOW. what a day! omg. well anyways, before i tell y'all what happened i guess i should finish my blog from this morning.. anyways, in two sentences, basically i wnet to emilia's place after to eat, then head to waterloo... looked at a piercing/tatoo store. bussed to WLU, listened to Cheryl (who was, in fact, amazing!), hung around chatted with various music ppl (Johhny has a sexy mohawk now!) Catherine told me Kat need a violinist for a gig, so then i bumped into Kat and talked to her about it. i reeeaaalllly wanna do it. then we wnet home.


OKAY!! on to my Yorkdale trip with Carmen! wow, what an experience!! anyways, it took us like almost 2 hours to get there, and it seemed like we went into every store! well, near the end of our job search, i was pretty thirsty, so Carmen suggested we go to Cultures, cuz their smoothies were really good, so we went. i ordered first so i went to pay first, the paying thing was at the other side of the counter, and there was this poster up saying "we are now hiring" so i said to Carmen, "they're hiring!" and Carmen said "are u gonna try?" and i'm like "yea, why not?" so after i paid, i asked the man if they were hiring, and the man was like yea, do you have a resume? so i gave him my resume, and he started reading through it. after like 30 second he asked me "so have you ever worked in a place like this before?" i said no. he continues to read through my resume. then he looks up and says "...hm... so when can you start?" i said "on monday" and he's like "monday...... monday.... hmm... " (and i'm standing there looking kind of baffled, like what is he doing?) then he says "okay, can you come on monday in the afternoon?" (at this time, i was thinking to myself: what?!?!) "sure...what time?" i said. he thinks... "5pm?" i say "okay" he says "so on monday i'll teach you how to do all the stuff, then you can start on tuesday." so i say thanks, flash him a smile, and leave. carmen gave me this look and asks "did you get it?" and i'm like, "yup!" we both start laughing uncontrollablly cuz it was just so damn hilarious and easy! i was seriously not expecting to get a job right there! i wanted a challenge! an interview, at least! but still! oh man... the rest of the time, Carmen and i were just like, "wow....WOW....*laugh* WOW..." Carmen went into Le Chateau too, and came out all smiley: she almost got an interview! the girl said she's gonna call her tomorrow. so...i hope she gets the job! omg, we can go to work together! it'd be sooooo cool! oh man... what a great day!! i got a job because i was thirsty! *moral of the story: don't get a drink at lunchtime, and when you get thirsty, go to Cultures for a nice smoothie. you can also get a job, free of charge!

OMG I GOT A JOB!!!! too easy. *grin!!*

mmm
blogging..
fun day yesterday... went to aci in the morn with emilia... hung out with ppl... omg, i saw dorothy! yiay! i missed her, mian... gunny how i was blogging about her, thne i saw her the next day. pretty cool! also hung out with jen mui, ray, and payal (i think that her name... i haven't really hung out with her before). :)

brb..
post later

i can't sleep... so im blogging... haha for no apparent reason, i just went through my gr.12 yrbook. man... those were the days. i really wish i could redo gr.12 again.. so many things i would've liked to do differently. wow, i'm actually missing ppl...right now. ppl i haven't seen, honestly, since last june. yuen, dil, niru, all those ppl... even dorothy. remember when we used to fight so much, esp. in math cuz gary was in our class. all the guys--jackie, patpat, ryan... noaman. (hahah carmen mike and i were talking about noaman this evening..) who else? oh, yea... henry holland, omid.. hahaha aww tennis and how i like playing omid cuz he's my level (doesn't mean he suck... just not as advanced). oh man... i gotta call karen up and hang out with her more too. almost 10 years.... boo hoo. highschool life seems so simple now that i'm here. *sigh*

it's also funny (as in weird) that i'm so absorbed into my life now that i've forgotten so many things from before. just too caught up, i guess. well, mike reminded me that Victoria Day is just around the corner. it'll be tough seeing those chemically fixed sparks in the nights sky again. shit.... then there was formal...

ok i think that's enough.

awww yiay went to mike's.. it was fun! nique was there! yiay haven't seen her in sooo long! but then her, elliot and dannany left early. so me carmen and mike just hung out and talked... very peaceful. it's been so long since i hung out with (just) them. good times... :) talked about "the cannon" and oooother stuff. it was fun. then we got kicked out. hahha oh well.

anyways, yea, i realized, after carmen mentioned it, i spent almost the entire day with her. so great! we still have to do more job searching, BBT (yiay fobs?), and cape making! yupyup! oh man.. looking forward to it sooo much.

goin to aci and loo tomorrow. YIAY can't wait! paying $26.75 to see Cheryl... hahaha it'll be worth it.

soooo! today was interesting.. cleaned my room a loot this morning.. it's still really really messy. anywhoo! carmen called me! see if i wanted to go job searching, so i told her i was already going with tim, so she joined us. oh, and i bumped into jordan and kevin right when i got there. pretty cool. well, they left and carmen arrived so we just walked around..and around, giving resumes and stuff. we eventually found our way into walter's, where tim kinda helped me look at guitars. then we walked around some more! oh, then we went to jack astors and stayed outside for sooo long filling out applications. and there was tihs weirdo azn man walking back and forth the whole time we were there, looking really lost. it was soo funny. i think he knew we were looking at him. HAHAH! anyways! after a looong time, we finally finish, and headed over to Krispy Kreme, because i never had krispy kreme doughnuts before, so we went there, and i had my first! yiiaayyy! it was so yummy! but then i got a chocolate milk and it tasted so narsty. ugh! aaaanyways, we went back into the mall and walked around a bit more, then tim left. boo hoo. well, then carmen and i walked around and then emilia called! so she came to stc and joined us and we walked around some more, still handing out resumes, and we bumped into mark! then we ate dinner at Diana Sweets, which is this little resautran there. it was actually pretty good! and not too expensive. :) and we stayed there for soo long just talking. good times! our waitress kept looking at us. haha! meh! anywhooo... then we went home, and now carmen might go to mike's house later, and she's asking me to come with. hmmmm... hehehe. i'll probably go. we'll seeee...

i just really hope some of those places call me back cuz i need a job!!!

HOLY SMOKES what a sexy picture! no, one sexy picture, and one of a dangerous Sirius! grrrr!!!


anywhoo, yea i'm back in toronto, can u believe it? it feels like a friday. hahaha i got home 16 seconds before the hockey game ended... good times! oh, and i drove all the way back! *beams* thank you thank you....
psych wasn't too bad, really. there were a couple of questions (ok, a fair bit) that i couldn't get, but most of them i recognized. so that's good. i guess? this guy who was one of the supervisors in the AC (athlectic complex, exam place...) was sooo HOT!! he distracted me from doing my exam. ;) haha but it's all good, finished it in like an hour and 10 minutes. not too shabby... hung out with music kids n the caf for a while... didn't know what the heck they were talking about! all their theory stuff...hahaha oh well. hung around rez til i got picked up, went to Henry's to claim my moonay, went to Winner's for a bit cuz my mom wanted to look at stuff, and then we headed back. good times, good times... my butt was hurting so much cuz i wasn't really moving while driving, i was so tense. damn trucks.

anywhoo! i got a digital camera!!! YIIIAAAYYY!!!! soooo happy.. it's such a great lttle piece of toy! lurve it! *luuuurve*

anywhoo... i'm done for now. see ya

song of the moment: "Requiem" by The Teaparty
~~~
well, most of my bags are packed and ready to go. just sitting here looking at my bare walls and empty shelves and desk, kinda makes me sad. it's finally sinking in.. it's over! so i guess i'll write a very brief summary of my year...

the past 8 months have pasted so quickly. yet, when i think of... other stuff, time seems to have lagged quite a bit too. this year have definately been a turning point in my life. so many "firsts" and new experiences. my first time going to a school where i knew virtually no one. and the people i've met have been different too, now compared to when i first met them. i've never really been close to knowing the people in my rez at all. and my first friend here, steve, we're still friends, but not as close. i miss our shopping trips and movies (even tho we only went to one), and little jokes. oh well, he found new flute friends. anywhoo, mike, ian, shannon, francine, bethany, and tracy have been my closest friends, i would say, even though sometimes i'd have bottled up anger to them (not all apply and don't ask). i met sooo many cool music people, and too many awesome mems-- too much fun in practise rooms. breakfast after skills, lunch after theory, MCKITTRICK (need i say more?), house searching, late night get togethers, sleep overs at Conrad, "blind date" (it was NOT a date, just to clarify, and i'm banning myself from dooley's), party at beth's, movie night at mike's, concerts at noon, stressing about exams, juries, orchestra concerts and intensive weeks, music formal, girlie talks, art exhibit (me and amy!), my music "heros" Cheryl and Brandon, hours in the library, and my room i spend so much time in. i've learned to live independantly and cook for myself (it's actually tough...lotsa snacks), and in the beginning of the year, loooots of late night phone calls, tears, and laughs (if u know wut i mean), and more girlie (and bi, for ian) talks, and... secret visits?
the thing i will miss most in my room is probably my bed. it's been so significant, and it's so comfy too. i mean, you'd expect university furniture to suck, but mine were all new, and soo comfy. oh, i'm actually gonna miss my dresser too, cuz i never had an actual dresser before. anywhoo... i think that about sums up everything.

i actually would like to sincerely thank jeremy for being such an awesome teacher, and CAM (mckittrick) for being so damn hilarious. but if i get mckittrick again next year for theory, i'm gonna flip. ha. omg... what was that song from theory, about Johnny? i can't remember it, all i remember is me and Ian singing it at the top of lungs. good times!

okay anyways, wish me luck in puh-sych tomorrow. i will post again once i'm back in t-dot-oh!

bleugh... so pissed.
i had this awesome idea- going home tomorrow, then driving back by myself here on thursday, listen to cheryl AND pack up the rest of my stuff, and come back. and maybe emilia or whoever can come along, and we can have a fun night! but then i called my mum and she's like "i don't really trust you yet... how about i'll let u drive, and i'll sit in the back seat?" and i'm like "..but i wanna go by myself" and she kinda cut me off by saying "i'm cooking dinner... i'll talk to you later."
wow, what loving parents i have.
argh. this is so frustrating!

anyways, so i guess it's my last night here at 77 Seagram. rez life has been a horrible experience. thanks to everyone who made it possible (except for clayton, who was the only sweetie around). in a way, i guess im gonna miss it... like having the bathroom right beside my room and the free laundry 5 steps away. oh, i'm also going to miss the balcony, which we were deprived of for practically the entire year. pah.. so many unsolved conflicts... colleen still owes me something she borrowed from me. and kiel's turned into a jerk. i can't stress how glad i am to be leaving my roomies. honestly. we've shared some laughs, but i've had better. i really would actually like to confront kiel why he didn't let me move, but he let sarah move. i'll talk to him about it tomorrow... maybe.

pah...
i'm done with the posting today. i need to go.

wow im so miserable right now. killing cramps... stuffy nose, headache, and i can't really breath well, and i'm really warm.. bahh... gotta open some windows...and blowing my nose.. bahh...

and plans for watching Kill Bill with my movie/shopping buddy (Steve) is cancelled because he has another engagement to attend on tuesday after theory exam. BAH!!! grumble grumble. it's not the same without hiiiim! we're Kill Bill movie buddies, ya see. (we saw the first one together) boooo. oh well.
i actually went to Henry's today. and on top on handing in a resume, i couldn't help but purchase two more lovely filters for my baby. and i just realized the cashier man overcharged me. grrr.. so now i will have to go there again and tell him. ha so much for saving up for Europe, huh? oh! but i have to buy pretty filters to take pretty pictures during the trip! oh yeah! hee hee! (no... that's really just an excuse. ha)

oh yea, btw, dinner was just me shannon, and francine. stupid ian. oh whateverrr. it was a pretty fun night. i guess? well, shannon and i watched Trading Spaces Home Free. damn, i want that kitchen! i honestly think that is the best room i've seen Frank do (i like him the least). well... besides the fact that they got $20,000. but u know... still! anywaysss... almost all my guelph friends are done univ. and kamla's done... and i'm still stuck here. but i think i'm the first done outta my friends/people i know here. like, just from my rez, i know that jo, mel, ali, and clayton are all done on friday, and cole's done on the 28th. so... yeah. oh, and i heard that Brock (unfortunately, for them) are just starting exams this week. hehe wow... sucks to be them.

okay. i need to stop blogging... back to puh-sych!

anyways... Cheryl's grad recital this thursday. i wanna go, but i dun wanna stay here for two days with NOTHING to do. ahhh! decisions decisions!

i woke up to the sound of rain and thunder. it wasn't pretty, but it's alright. i don't think i am motivated enough to get of my rez and to go Henry's and apply for a nice job. it's gloooomy.
haven't done much work, but meh. i wanna go just do my exam now to get it over with. pah.. i hate waiting.
i think i'm getting over last night. i'm feeling a lot better. had dinner with fran and shan, then "practised". actually, i was doing some improv on the piany, it was fun. then i listened to some nice rock and drew a picture in my journal. shan and fran came in my practise room and thought i was dead, or slitting my wrist. i replied, "no, i don't have anything to slit my wrist with" haha. anyways... i went back to rez, but couldn't really stay there. felt like shit. so i took a walk. it was nice. i went to Quizznos to inquire about my job application. then i came back, and felt better. and today, i think my cold is getting better. fortunately, i haven't blown my brains out yet. tee hee. what a way to end the year, huh? actually, my head hurts right now from blowing my nose so much.

dinner tonight... yiay? well, it's just me shan, fran and ian.
and i want to go to Cherly's grad recital, but it's this thursday, ad i don't want to stay here with absolutely nothing to do for two full days. bah... i really want to go. she's gonna be sooo awesome. bah. oh well. anywhoo... back to more "studying".

what's wrong with me? was at the library for an hour. can't do it anymore. i wanna sleep. i don't even see a point in devoting all my time to this.. i'm taking it all over again in the summer anyways. goddammit...

it's too quiet here.



***
i drew a pretty (fucked up) picture. it's pretty.

it's past 2:30 and i still have not done ANY work. wow... well, Kiel cooked us some barbecue this afternoon, so we kinda had a party/ social. it was alright, i guess.
im starting to pack again because i can't work. my room is so bare. so white. feels like i'm staring into something that's not even there. weird. Mar's blog made me depressed. bah. Ian's upset from too much drama in his rez last night. how do i know this? i guess it's becuz i was msn-ing with Bryan last night. got too know him a little bit last night, not bad. too religious, that's the only problem. no offense. but at least he likes HP. that's always good.

i need a job...

... and a hug.

8 and a half hours. today. good effort.
memories... i don't remember much from what i read, but i do remember losing concentration, because it started hitting again. and hasn't stopped. maybe that's why i'm still up at this hour. goddamn...

the movie duuring the first visit... i'm missing it... and what's happening now? it's been so long. every silver lining has a cloud. *sob*

i had to delete that last post from last night. it was too corny.. my reputation's at stake. hahaha

anyways.. 7 hrs of psych yesterday. pretty good, no? hehehe okay, well, i need to do the same today, if not more. 3 hours down... 4 to go. hahaha. i don't think 4 is enough. i have to cover maybe like 4 chapters more. bah.

well, going job searching for a bit first. then back to the lovely libber-ary.

i screwed up my courage and called elena last night. wasn't there, so i left a message. this morning she called back. she's gotta talk to the person who's in my room first. but i told her i want to move in may 1st. and when she calls back, gotta bug her about keys.

that's it fer now. ta.

P.S. GOOD LUCK TO IAN ON HIS JURY!

first off, CONGRATS TO MIKE JANG on a successful jury! *clap clap*

my religions exam went pretty well, besides the fact that i haven't written so much at one time in so long, and my hand was really tired! but it's all good! i'm pretty confidant with getting at least a B. :) well, i went to get some breakfast after that, and now i have 67 cents in my onecard! haha go me! there were a small bunch of music people sitting in the music sections of the caf, so i sat with them. they were doing theory and history.. haha oh history...
anyways, then i went over to chat with justin, james and catherine. she gave me a pic she took of me and rod, from the night at huther's after our orchestra performance. it's pretty funny. she (or was it james? i don't remember) made this comment how i looked bored, and rod was just sitting there holding his beer, like he's thinking "fuck this, all i need is beer" hahaha! so i'm gonna try to try find a way to scan the pic add some captions and publish it on my blog. tee hee good times! see, gotta <3 Huther's.

hey, Mar, how do u make those cute little hearts? i hardly, if ever, talk to Dil, so i can't really ask her.

mmm... listening to Luna... so nice. i'm pretty baffled about the wherebouts of my pretty dutch boi. he told me this trip would be about 3 weeks, and it's been 3 weeks, and i see him on msn quite often, but he never replies and haven't emailed or text msged me. soooo... *shrug*

gotta call elena for sure tonight. damn, i reeallly don't want to talk to her, but i have to. bahhh... and i still need a JOB! bah.
anyhoo.... i better get back to the dear old library for more studying. ta-ta

i guess i should post something. i got back in W.Loo at noon. i kinda miss the tall skyscrapers that is Toronto, but i'm happy to be back. it was suuch a bee-oo-tiful day today that i decided against taking a cab back home. i took the bus instead, and saved like 9$. anyways, i got back to my rez and the moment i opened the door to my room, i was like "holy shit, it's so bare." cuz u know, i took a lot of stuff home on the weekend. oh, and my room smelled really nice... like wood... from my furniture. mmm... anyways! i've been doing religions stuff all day. pah. i was checking my exam times and realized i got them messed up. tomorrow's is the one at 9, and psych is the one at 2. whoosps. i guess i won't be visiting aci next tuesday. oh well.

fuck, i really need a job. gotta go job hunting this weekend again. grr. and Carm invited me to guelph this weekend too, should i go? it's only for a day.... but then i have to study psych. hmmmmmmm.... decisions decisions. oh well, we'll see come saturday.

ooh ooh! i was talking with Emilia last night, and i think i may have found the perfect backpacking-all-over-Europe trip partner! if all goes well, we're going after univ.!! YIAYY!!! oh, and we're definately stopping by The Netherlands and hooking up with some hot Dutch bois. :D hee hee hee! im sooo excited now! yaaayyyy so yes, i gotta start saving up the moola. :D

post more latah!

***
11:12pm

STUDYING SUCKS!!! i wanna sleep

i just talked to Carmen. :) haven't since.. probably like New Year's. it was really nice. planning lot of fun stuff for summer! yiay! cape making, HP, painting of the houses, par-tays! can't wait! lotta serious stuff too. welp.. one more week, and i'm done! pretty sure i'll be moving back in Loo in May. parents are cool with it. they best be! omg.. so many plans! omg omg.. i can't wait! i can hear it calling my name....lol i'm such a nurd.

hmm.. anyways, talked to Bryan, that guy in orchestra, a little while ago. he's an alright person, i guess... knows his music people. nice... omg, he's living on the same street as us next year. parties!!!

oh yeah, did i mention how badly i want to go back to the loo?

yes, very bad.

so um.. yeah. today was pretty "interesting". well in the morning i went to the library to work for a couple hours, pretty productive, then i wnet to the doc's to get a needle... heh blood drawn. whatever. i was soo early, so i decided to go to aci early. and warden and finch, matt calls from mike's cell, takes me like two minutes to actually realize who the hell was talking to me. weird convo. they wanted to leave. whatever. i get to aci, they've left, i call mike. kate was with them. they came back to pick me up. awkward as fuck. didn't get to get my mitts back and see everyone. went to mike's house (see, i conform too). more awkwardness (at this point i was reminded of how badly i wanted to go back to waterloo and stay there). matt tried making convo, i tried stopping it. too awkward. i just wasn't ready. two pats on the fucking head. then kate had a call to pick someone up, or meet her, so i left with her... went to finch bus station, then she drove me home. goddamn. what a wasted afternoon. totally not what i expected. pah.. i'm so pissed off and disppointed. i'm home early, and probably won't be able to go out again. fuck.

i was chatting with Ian earlier, like 10 minutes ago...talking about boys. he was telling me how i should find another one. i agreed. he told me this guy likes me. so i'm like, "seriously? no joke" and he's like "no joke" so anyways... it's this guy in my orchestra. i got aquainted with him a couple weeks ago at Chapters (the day of the Skills exam) so..yeah. well, i barely know him, so we'll see. i told Ian to tell him to msn me. so...meh. personally, i wouldn't go for it, but i'll be nice. Ian said he's cute in some ways. what ways? i dunno. but i trust his judgement. so... we'll see.

u know what's funny? (well, to me at least) ok, well, it's not FUNNY, just amusing. anyways, it's the fact that people still have juries, and here i am, thinking "jury? u still have juries? i did mine so long ago!" but still... tee hee

pah.. gotta keep reading... post more latah

bah... don't really feel like posting. but don't feel like working even more.
nothin much happened. i went to stc with Billy yesterday. good times. haven't hung out in a looong time. hahah girly stores are fun! i saw eric there. it was great, haven't seen him since... the last time i came back, whenever that was... about a month ago. i honestly tried doing some work yesterday. didn't really work. i either lose concentration, or get interrupted. see, i was working last night, then my brother wanted me to watch a video with him, and i didn't say anything. my mom's like "okay let's watch a video!" so we started choosing videos. in the end, my brother didn't even watch it, it was my mom and i. pah. and then my mom started badgering me about not working hard enough again. *sigh* mothers these days...

anywhoo... oh yea, i asked Billy yesterday which AMINAL i should get. he said i should get a bunny. and he also reminded me that he thought those bunny pictures i put up on my blog were ugly. gee thanks. heh heh. anyways... so... yeah!

a childhood friend of mine is coming over. yiay? well, she's borrowing a dress for her gr.8 grad. *sigh* time passes so fast.. i remember when she was still a little kid, all cute and innocent. now... she's just cute. lol

anyways, i'm a bit anxious getting back to Waterloo. dunno why. i mean, it hasn't been bad here, and i've got choices for food! but still... i need to call my landlord (landlady?) to settle some matters. and... check if i got any job offers. heh. cuz i really don't think i'll be able to survive in Toronto for four months.
alright. time to go, for now. i might post something later. if i'm really bored.

***
10:56pm

i was re-reading my blog, and just remembered something justin told me last week about universities and toronto. he siad he would never be able to go to U.T cuz he can't stand being in toronto. it's too big and too many people. i kind of agreed. with the university part. not the living part. toronto's got its nice stuff. justin's like "no, no i can never live there." figures, he's from Timmins. he's like "yeah, i was raised in Northern Ontario" like some big, important person. lol anyways... mian, i'm envy him soo much. he gets to go to Italy this summer with Melissa and Jerzy (and Jeremy?) and playing violin everywhere. grrr... ah well. i wanna go to Europe. planning to go either exchange during 3rd or 4th year, or just go after univ. bah.. i just wanna GO! behe...

alright... anyways... dinner was fun. Kenric and Gavin came back from England. nice.. and Edith's gotten so big! damn... no more little Edith. we had fun rumaging in my room looking at photos and playing minesweeper. i've got two more days in TO. bah... then stupid religions exam. pooper. i wanna get a bunny and name it bunny. or animal. hahah that'd be hilarious... kinda.

anywhoo... i'm done for the day.

stole this from Maryam

1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
"... thing almost as unpromising. A doubt of her regard,..." (Sense and Sensibility)

2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
Websters Spelling Correcter Plus

3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?
News

4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is:
7:35pm

5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
7:59pm... whoops?

6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
music from my brother's computer

7: When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
like 15 minutes ago. i came back from dining with the parentals

8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
Billy's Xanga

9: What are you wearing?
Black pants, black (sorta) dress shirt, pony tail

10: Did you dream last night?
Yeah, don't remember it at ALL

11: When did you last laugh?
This afternoon while joking around with my cousin whom i haven't seen in ages

12: What is on the walls of the room you are in?
um... one of my (ugly) paintings, a pooh postcard from Nique, photo of me and my dad, some un useful memos..

14(a): What book are you currently reading?
Nothing

14(b): What is the last book you finished?
Picasso, My Grandfather by Marina Picasso

15: What is the last film you saw?
Cheaper by the Dozen (yiay for computer downloads! it was a good movie)

16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
a car

17: Tell me something about you that I don't know:
i might get a kitten. i haven't decided... kitten or bunny? oh, and i got an A- on my last religions essay (Mike knows this but meh!)

18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
hmm... just one? i like Mar's idea, making all the countries closer. i probably would too. but for originality's sake, i'll say that every country should mind its own goddamn business. no competition between countries. i honestly hate that.

19: Do you like to dance?
yeah, it's fun! i wish i were better toooo

20: What is the last thing you ate or drank?
Tea

21(a): Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
hmm... Anastasia

21(b): Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
i don't want a boy. i'll kill him.

omg, i'm joking!! um... i dunno... BOB (ok, i don't want a boy.. haven't thought about it)

22: Would you ever consider living abroad?
I have been fantasizing about it almost my entire life. i need to gooooo!!

***
yeah, i'm in T-dot. whoo hoo. what a crappy day. plans ruined! pooop. but got to see my little cousin. yiay! and visited my uncle in the hospital. going shopping tomorrow. YIAY! i seriously need to get a printer/scanner/copier. oh i should also get a webcam. hahaha! Can't wait for Mike Jang. sorry mian. i neeeeed a webcam. lol

alright.. nothing else to post... i'm outtie

i was going to post about tonight tomorrow, but... meh!
Ilana's recital so awwwwesome! best i've heard her play those songs. a couple of points:
- one of my favs was the baroque piece with harpsichord, cello, and lute.
- Johnny in leather pants?! nooooo...
- Gill didn't get her "talk" with Jerzy cuz he was drrrunk! lol jk
- reception afterwards was cool, tihs old man i've seen at the Penderecki Quartet Bartok concerts was there. he was like "hey Mandy! this is the third time i've seen you!" (i feel bad, i don't know his name.)
- hung around and talked to people before heading with Andrea, Laura, Etelka and Rod to Etelka's house
- walked to Huther's

HUTHER'S!
- lotsa people were there already when we got there. Yay Jerzy and Jeremy were there too.
- Ilana didn't come til afterwards. when she did we all cheered super loud. everyone there probably thought we were crazy
- Adam Biggs made this stupid (i think) comment about knowing the feeling all too well.. embarassed and stuff. pfft. show- off
- lots and lots of clinking glasses
- chats with Melissa and Justin about their trip to Italy this summer with Jerzy and Jeremy
- chats with Jeremy about my jury (intonation was good, but not rhythm. bah)
- more cheering and clinking glasses
- Katie got super drunk really early. being extra loud. Jeremy was sitting beside her and was nervous when she stood up to make that speech to Ilana about how we should clink to her. Jeremy was like "she was holding that beer up, i thought she was gonna spill it!" (or something like that, i don't remember exactly what he said)
- Andres walked her home. she got Jeremy to pay her bill. gave him a 20.
- chatted with Simon Fryer -- he's a pretty cool guy. quiet and conserved. and he drinks beer. it's so weird watching your profs hang out with everyone and *drinking*! gasp.
- chatted more with Jeremy-- about family, music and Mr. Lummy! (they know each other)
- people started leaving-- most wanted to go to this other bar/pub called Starlight or somethin...
- chatted a bit with Jeff (flute/piccolo guy who looks a lot like Colleen's bf, Jeff....)
- my chocolate milk, $1.50 bill, and Jeremy's hilarious surprised face
- i called foot patrol
- then i didn't wanna leave, but they were there already, so.. i went home.

soo much fun, mian. i love Huther's!

YIAY I'M DONE MY JURYYYY!!!!!
ok, it was tough getting up, but i gotta admit, practising in the morning is refreshing. especially when there are only two people in the whole practising room area (Rod and i). i was pretty axious and nervous. but y'know... i was takin' it as it was coming. hehhe yes... anyways, so then i went upstaires and Rod was still playing. his jury went like 5 minutes overtime. and mine was under. pahh.. but it wasn't as bad as it could be. y'know? my intonation and rhythm could've been better, but.. meh. all in all it wasn't too bad. and i didn't get to play through either of the pieces. but that's alright. after my jury, i was in the dining hall talking to justin, johnny and pam, and pam asked if i was to rate myself on a scale of 1- 10, what would it be? i think it's about a 7.5. if i actually get that, i'm good to go. :)
anyways, i'm freeee like a bird!!
i should start studying for religions and psych, buuuut.... maybe later. going to Ilana's grad recital tonight, YIAY! then i'm going hoooome tomorrow. yay home. err... i mean... yay toronto! yay shopping with billy! yay yay yay!

ok Skills wasn't that bad. in fact, it went pretty well. i got a tough rhythm, but the sight singing and rhythm were both not as bad as i thought. so... yay! practising didn't go too well. bah. so disappointing. i had to stop.. i'm going back later.. i just need a break. grr... so disappointed at myself. yesterday went so well, what the hell happened? grrr... i came home and took a super long shower. now im all relaxed. *exhales* don't wanna think what's gonna happen tomorrow. argh.

organizing another get-together with the China gang. yayy i haven't seen them in so long. something to look forward to! anyways... oh yeah, to my parents, who will never read this: sorry about the car.. whoopsie. it was all my fault.... and matt's. heh heh.. just kidding. it's my fault. gotta go furniture shopping tihs weekend.. maybe i'll drag billy along. heh heh... we were supposed to do something anyways, why not furniture shopping? haha... well, we'll see. i wanna drive my mom's rented Accord. hahaha! oh man... i can't believe it's going to take two weeks to fix the damn thing. i feel pretty bad about it.

anyways... nothing more to post. except this bit of convo that happened a while ago, late at night, when Mel was telling some guy, a friend of the 4th floor girls, to shut up in the hallway:

Mel: "Shut the fuck up!"
Guy: "Fuck you!"
Mel: "Fuck you harder!" *squeals and locks the front door*

hahaha oohhh... good comeback. alright i'm outtie.

hello blogger.
im having a hard time with rhythm. all hopes of a successful Skills exam are now crushed.

SO! practising was fun today! masterclass went great! :) i love successful masterclasses! oh! oh! who got an A on their concert reports? meee!! and my religions essay? A-! yyiiaayyy! i don't think i've ever gotten an A anything on any essays before. soooo yippee!

aaanywhoo... yea, Skills exam tomorrow... gotta keep practising. stupid Skills and its stupid confusing rhythms! grrr
ok, i'm outtie

ooohhhh gotta love those A's.
i'll elaborate later. gotta practise. ta-ta-cheerio!

sorry i didn't publish the my last post. i wrote a really long one last night at like 3 in the morning. needed to vent. then i decided i didn't really want the world to read it. it was basically about the the crap that's been going on, and a review of the past year. sooo... yeah. oh i still have to write that story for The Crazies for Carmen. :)

today was the string auditions at Laurier. sooo many string players in the practise rooms! it was cool though.. i remember when iii did my audition last year... *sigh*... anyway, at one point i had to go upstaires to check what time my Skills exam was, and Liz was there too, so we stood outside the auditioning room, and listened to one of the auditions. it was really good! we were like "wow.. makes me want to practise!" anyways, the really cool thing was that when the person who was auditioning walked out, she looked at me, and i looked at her and there was like a couple seconds of silence. then...... Aviva?! lol! omg it's Aviva (we had the same violin teacher, Gabriel)! totally didn't expect to see her there! it was really surprising. she was like "yea, Bernard told me you'd be here" but i didn't expect it to be her walking out of the room the exact time when i was listening. so that was cool. went back to the practise rooms, and practised a bit more... couldn't take it anymore, no masterclass today! grr... oh well. i decided to take a walk and bumped into Mike. we went to grab some food (thanks for buying me foood Mike). talked about webcams. he might be getting a new one, so i'm like "ooh can i buy your's off you?" he's like "..why? ....ohhh u wanna webcam with that dude! where's he from again?" lol oh mike.... you know me too well. *blush* teehee. anyways, then went back to practise. i only did about another half hour before i stopped. too much practising for one day. bah. oh well. anyways, so here i am... typing. well, i was relaxing a bit before but...meh. okay anyways, i'd better go write that story. if anyone want to read it, go on The Crazies link on the left side of this page!

***
10:31pm
i'm a bit zoned out right now. i wanna post about it, but i know i'll get my ass kicked for it. why does this always happen? i guess i'm just thinking selfishly, but still. bah. what am i saying? this fucking sucks. now i'm really curious about next year. ahhhh...

i just came back from the Bartok concert! wow, it was sooo good! i'm going again on Wednesday for the second part of it! YIAY! it's quite different, listening to them and just seeing them so close. a lot different than in the recital hall, when it's far away too. so it was a good experience. ooh ooh! guess who iiiiii saw there? Alexis' dad! well, he saw me first. he was like "hi Mandy!" and i had this surprised look on my face "....... Alexis' dad? hiii! i didn't expect to see yooou here!" hahaha it was cool, and kinda funny i actually called him "Alexis' dad" rather than Mr. Petric. hehehe oops! i also met this older couple who, like so many other residents of KW, attend these concerts regularly. she was telling me about this baroque group, and Syd Bulman, who plays piano, but is a math proffesor at WLU. damn... everyone knows each other! it was super cool. the concert i really wanna go to actually is of a violinist called Leslie Ting, and pianist Elena Klyucharova. it sounds really interesting, but the only thing preventing me from going is that it's during the long weekend, the weekend i'm supposed to go back to toronto. paaahhh. life sucks sometimes. oh well... so many concerts, so little time! :)

speaking of Elena, i still have to call her. argh. i really don't want to... i really should though. bah.
anyways... yeah. i gotta get some food. me hungee.

omg there's a rainbow on my wall!! seriously, i've had my little crystal butterfly on my window since the beginning of the year and right now is the first time i've seen a rainbow. pah.

anyways, today was good pretty good day. i went to the choir concert, and it was good! yay for Brandon, my singing hero! surprisingly, Erica's solo wasn't that good. i mean, i know i'm in no position to speak, or sing... but still. even Pam and Cassandra were better than her i thought! but maybe it's just the repetoire. then i went to eat, and then practise. practising was productive. i actually sounded decent! i'm anxious about the masterclass tomorrow. eee!! i'm so energetic right now. :) good practising+sunny day=happy mandy!
and what's more, i'm going to Bartok tonight! and i actually have people to walk with, so i won't be a loner. haha yay i'm excited! i am actually pretty excited about listening to the Penderecki Quartet tonight, i dunno why, i've heard them so many times before. i guess this time, it's different cuz it's not a music at noon concert. so... we'll see what happens.

wow.. it's almost 7. hard to believe. yay for daylight savings time! (even though i did lose an hour this morning, but whatever) i have to meet Yena in like, half an hour. jebus. anywhoo.... holy crap.. it's so nice out! too bad it's cold. meh well. yay rainbows!! :D

the concert was... umm... GOOD. lol actually... it wasn't that great. sorry to all my friends who was in that ensemble. it was more sound than an actual song-like performance. lots of good dynamic changes, but no real melody to any of it except the last two songs. oh well.

anyway, i was gonna post about last night, but i had to run, so i'll do it now. i went to Melissa and Cheryl's 3rd year recital at KW--- Music Room (i forgot what the rest of thsoe letters were). anyways, it was basically some guy's house and he turned the loft into a big music performing area. it was really cool. homey and comfortable. an old woman who was sitting next to me started talking to me about Ilana and all the music people she knows and stuff like that. it was actually pretty cool. at one point she was telling me how she remembers Guy Few (trumpet professor) when he was 17 years old and... something. i don't remember what. lol but anyways... the concert started off kinda boring... during Cherly's last piano solo, she suddenly stopped and said ".. i think i need a break." and left the room. ah well. my favourite two performances were Melissa's Spanish Dance song with piano, and Melissa and Dan's duet. sooo nice. :) During the intermission, i started talking to Kevin (Salterelli) and he was telling me how when he was walking there (to the recital) he stopped by Waterloo Park to look at bunnies (cuz i told him i wanted to get a bunny). i was like "ooh really?" and he's like "yeah, there's a little zoo over there. they cage the animals, but anyone can go and look at them any time" so... yes.. i wanna go! he siad there are peacocks there too! preeetty! anyway, so i was telling him how i might stay in Waterloo during the summer and he's like "yeah, a bunch of us are staying too!" so i'm like "okay, when i'm bored i'll call u up." (i don't have his number... i guess i'll bump into him in the practise rooms) anyways, after the concert, i got out of the house and started walking home. the old lady who was sitting beside me, and this other woman (who goes to U.W) offered to give me a ride home. she was like "don't walk home by yourself" so i'm like "okay" and she drove me home. it was great! i didn't have to walk and risk getting raped by ugly old men in the middle of the night! hahaha

***

just read Tracy's blog. i don't really want to post an end-of-the-year post, because in so many ways, it just doesn't feel like the end of the year. i guess i can go ahead and start ranting about how awesome the year has been and how many new friends i've made (which i will rant about, but not now), but seeing as friday was my last offical day, and so many things were left unsaid, and so many people i haven't seen, it's hard to really write anything *meaningful* about it yet. i mean, gosh, i still have one masterclass! and no one's got yearbooks this year, flaunting it around and everyone skipping classes to sign each other's yearbooks or chat in the hallway like we used to at ACI. kinda makes me sad...

***
whoops... anyways.. um.. im tired. bye

i bought a book yesterday. it's called "Picasso, My Grandfather" by Marina Picasso. i'm almost done the whole book. it's one of those where it's so powerful, you can't put it down. this certainly was a powerful book. to Pablo Picasso, power and wealth was everything. even more than his family. just by reading the first couple of pages last night, i could tell what sort of man he was. i could say that he basically destroyed everyone of his immediate family members' lives: his wife Olga, his son Paulo, his daughter in law, and his grandchildren. Driven by only his own ambitions and needs, he disregarded all those who yearned for his love and attention. even in his death, he was alone, with only his then wife, Jacquline. Jacquline was... a bitch, basically. never allowed Pablo's son and grandchildren visit him, following him around like a stray puppy. made me think of how cruel this world really is. you could be the wealthiest man in the world, but such ignorance and lack of love will surely ruin what reputation you may have. in a sense, i guess reading this memoir made me realize how lucky i am, growing up wise. Marina and her brother Pablito have never known love throughout thier childhood. Depression, rage, and thoughts of hopelessness were what drove Pablito to his suicide. the only brght spot in their lives really was the fact that they had each other. but not even Marina could save him from this fate. and all this because of a name. i've never really been a fan of (Pablo) Picassoand his paintings, and after reading this book, i have lost so much respect for this man.


***
well, Winds concert at 3. i really should go. Ian's playing in it, and i should go watch him, seeing as he always came to my concerts. it would be interesting.. hopefully. anyway... i'll finish this post later tonight.

aw man.. my internet's been down the entire day! well, i finally found out how to fix it, and now it works. yiay?
i just watched The Mummy on tv this evening. it was good! kinda scary.. but all the lights were on, and almost everyone was still awake, so it's all good. i hid behind my rhythm textbook (if u can even call it that, it's so small). im such a nerd. whatever.

Skills exam tomorrow! god help me, i'm gonna fail. grr...

anyways.. i've still got some thoughts about... stuff. oh damn... i just realized it's been a full two months. has it really only been two months? felt so much longer... ah crap... goddamn it why does she have to ruin everything?
fuck fuck fuck....

ok.. forcing it out of my head and moving on... i'm really trying not to say goddamn so much anymore... after Tracy (the saint) confronted me about it. i'm sorry Trace.. sometimes, i just need more emphasize. i'm really trying not to say it too much anymore. see Trace? i'm sacrificing my swearing for you! Anyways, so i went job searching today at Conestoga Mall. it went okay. i think my best bet is Green Earth, so... wish me luck!

Anyways... better get back to skills...

--> oh yeah... i missed psych this morning. last one of the year. probably wasn't a good idea. oh well.