last night was great, for so many reasons.

i finally told shaughn about the thing, and he gave me okay advice. we had a long talk about it, while he supervised pootz closing the kitchen. so i pretty much stayed til they were completely finished, which was about 2 and a half hours. i told pootz too, because he is actually one of the other people at the rude i actually trust. they both agreed that i should do it, and shaughn and i actually compared schedules and worked it out. and then yeah, the three of us had some good convos in the kitchen. mostly about work people and such. it was fun. after they closed, shaughn walked me home (it was 2:30am and i didn't want to walk by myself), and we had a seriously deep conversation. it was so intense. we talked about the other night, and he apologized to me. when we got to my house, we just chilled on the porch, and kept conversing, about everything. our childhoods, family, relationships, take on life (such as homeless people), and about that other thing. it was awesome.. we were on the porch til 4am. but it gave me plenty to think about. he did not do anything this time.

anyway, yeah, it was a really great night, i'm so glad we did that talk. everything was out in the open and i got to know him way better. makes mandy happy :)

~~

the pride parade today was good times. kamla and i had lots of trouble meeting up with mel and jay and the rest of them, but eventually, we did it. the parade itself was a lot better than last year's, but there's definately not as many people as last year. oh well. two of mel's friends left halfway through, and then dave and his friend had to leave afterwards, so me, kam, mel, jay, and a bunch of jay's friends went to spring rolls for dinner. it was super fun. i haven't hung out with a goup of chinese people in sooooo long. it was actualy kind of weird. they weren't fob or anything, but they were joking around and speaking chinese, and i actually understood it. wow, huh.
after dinner, kamla and i went to the young/dundas square, and i bought this really wicked awesome dress. it's hard to put it on though.... so... i need to practise.

speaking of practising, i haven't really practised in two weeks, except once for half an hour. i'm definately not looking forward to tomorrow's lesson.

anyway.... off to bed i go.

last night, work kinda sucked, because i was so tired at the end, and sad because shaughn reminded me of the thing i was gonna tell him, and i couldn't tell him yet, because other people were around, and then mike (from skinnyphat) sang the sweetest song and it made me think of someone from long ago and that made me sad. and then i got home, and my house smelt like smoke, because obviously my roommate was smoking in his room again, and i called my landlord, and he didnt answer his phone, so i left a message. but then mel left me a text msg on my phone, and then keith called me from her phone, and i went over to their place, and we hung out for a long time, and it made me happy again.

the end.

my weekend was pretty bad, except for hanging out with kevin.
after 5 days, it was back to the Rude last night... it really wasn't as bad as i had anticipated. first of all, jen wasn't working at all, so that certainly made my night a lot easier (although she did come in just to chill). another thing was that this was the first time in almost a year that heidi did not show up on a wednesday night!! oh. my. god. i know. apparently, john and heidi had a fight or something of the sort, but either way, it was GREAT! a couple of us were talking in the kitchen and max was like "i'd pay john to keep this up." hahaha! so would i. anyway... after work i went over to the duke and met up with mel and pat. well, i invited shaughn and alison too, but after waiting for him to finish up, him and alison kept fucking talking... omg... i wanted to slap them. after 10 minutes of just standing there holding the door, i was fed up and just went over myself. they came eventually, and alison informed me that they helped max put up all the chairs. heh heh...too bad. so a shitload of staff were hanging out at the duke, and it really was a lot of fun! rory's friend, chad, was trying to hit on me sooo bad. he was sitting with mel and pat and i, and when chad started touching my back and my arm, mel almost had to stop him from getting up and punching him. yay i have good friends who will save me from old men! haha... anyway, chad kept insisting that he wanted to hang out with me and i should go with him to cameron's house to drink, and i was like, "um.... ask my friends, i'm gonna go whereever they go" and i turned to mel, and whispered "say no!". so he did ask her, and of course she said no. haha, it was kinda funny. anyway... i was a bit disappointed that alison was stuck on shaughn so fucking much. i was hoping i could talk to him about this thing i was thinking about doing, and i needed his opinion. but i told him that i would tell him another day. so mel and pat and i left the duke, and walked to 7-11 to pick up snacks, and headed to her place to hang out for a bit. it was good times... and pat eventually walked me home, since mel had to work this morning, and neither of us did.

and i didn't get the kids' art camp job. boo hoo.
honestly..... i'm not that upset over it. it would've been fun and everything, but i wouldn't want to work at 8:30am-4:30... then work at the Rude.

oh, one more thing before i leave: i was watching Ellen this morning, and one of the guests was this guy named Matt, and he travelled around the world, dancing. it's actually really really funny. there's like clips of him dancing in every country (except canada) and y'all can check it out at www.wherethehellismatt.com

have fun!

so my mother's birthday yesterday was pretty shitty, sice i was in a shitty mood all day, and she got pissed off at me for getting pissed off at this stranger walking in the parking lot. then she complained about how horrible a daughter i was and our family sucks and how unhappy she was. and my brother was being a reaaaal asshole. i was reminded of why i stay home for no more than two days. anyway... when we got home, her and my dad left for the office, and i called up kevin and we hung out at white haven park. it was good times, and definately good convos. then a certain someone kept calling his phone, which got pretty annoying after the 3rd one. and i got 4 lovely mosquito bites right on the ass. wonderful.

and now my arm hurts because my driving teacher's car fucking sucks.

work sucks, family sucks, i hate people, and i'm sure people hate me.


thanks, G, for a fun night

watched The Man Who Cried yesterday.... it wasn't as good as i expected it to be, but it was alright. made me sad at the end.

last MT session yesterday was great, i got to videotape the first session, that was fun. i didn't play anything in the second session. meh. hopefully my schedule will work out in the fall do that i can start up again. MT sessions are fun!

anywhoo... i guess im not going to the PSQ concert at perimeter institute on saturday, since no one will be able to cover my shift, but it's okay. i haven't been to one q-fest concert yet, and i probably won't this year.

damien's bday party on canada day? fuck yes, if i can take the day off work! raggas are fun when you are willing.

anyway... i'm outtie. til next time i find an signal on my laptop.

last night, shaughn walked me and gloria home after work.
not cool.

patio was fun.

alex got fired.

ok i wrote this post last night, and when i finished, i could not find a signal on my laptop, so i'm posting tihs now.

~~~

ok.

1. happy satan day! (well, i just missed it by 3 minutes) i really want to see The Omen.... maybe thursday, i'll go.

2. i had another dying dream last night. it was scary. i was with a bunch of people, and we were part of a war or some kind of battle. but i knew it in the dream as war. and people died, i'll spare everyone the details. the gunshots sounded very real. i fucken hate dying dreams.

3. ok, after weeks of pretty much no conversation, alex started talking to me, finally. well, it started with him talking to shaughn nad i was just putting cutlery away, so i joined their conversation. so we actually talked. then i was sitting with tara, and he came over and talked to us. but he didn't completely talk directly to me, but yeah... then tara was like, i'm kinda drunk, i gotta stop drinking so i can drive home (and then we had tihs conversation about drunk driving and getting caught). so i just said that i could drive her home then take a cab, and tara was like, aw you're so sweet, then alex was like, "yeah, you are really sweet." and i know he meant it, because alex wouldn't say something and not mean it. it's a good attribute, but also bad because he would say a lot of really really not-so-nice things, and you'll know he meant that too. (that's pretty much the one thing i really hate about him) then he kissed me arm and was all friendly and stuff. so at that point i was thinking "umm... okay...? don't talk to me for a month, then all of a sudden be all chummy?" and when i had to leave to catch the bus he gave me a big hug and kissed my neck.

so the question is..... what the fuck?

i was doing so well getting over him... and it was actually working! now i'm confuzzled. help. :(

anyway... i came home from work (10 minutes ago) and the second i walked in the door, i smelt smoke. FUUUUUUUUUCK!! i'm calling my landlord tomorrow and telling him. and this time i'm going to do it for real.

How Heidi is a Crazy Bitch for Those Who Don't Know

situation #1
i worked a split today and i just finished my lunch shift, and have 2 hours to kill before my next shift, so i sat outside with an issue of Echo chillin outside waiting for my food to come up. Heidi comes bustling outside (she always walks like she's in a rush... it's pretty ridiculous) and stops in her tracks and asks if i had checked the bathroom before i finished, i said no, only becuase i checked it at least 8 times before, and i know it's fine. it's not my fuckin fault our bathroom fuckin sucks. then she asks me if i check the urn outside at anytime during my shift, and again, i said no. why the hell would i? i don't fuckin smoke, and i absolutely hate touching clean cigarettes, let alone butts. god...what a fucking bitch.

situation #2
this is actually 30 minutes after situation #1 happened. dave pootz arrived for his shift 2 hours early, also waiting to get his paycheque. so we're just sitting there chillin, and i'm eating still. then Sebastian arrives, orders a beer, and sits down with us, also waiting for the paycheques to arrive. the two of them each light up a cigarette and whatnot and we're all just sitting there chatting. out of nowhere, Heidi runs up to Sabby, throws an ashtray on the table, points a finger in his face and pretty much yells "If i EVER see you throwing that shit on the patio, you will not be on the patio ever again!" we're all shocked, but Sabby, being all suave and shit, asks "What? Doing what?" then Heidi goes "Who the hell do you think sweeps that shit up?" (and makes it sound like she does) and storms away. after she leaves, i was like, "um... ok, no one cleans the ashes on the floor because it's either washed away by the rain, or the wind blows it away. but seriously, i think Sabby sat down for no more than 5 minutes and Heidi exploded in his face.

anyway, i think Heidi was extra moody today. hormones or something, i don't know. anyway...

justin's a dick.
that is all.

what's this? my comment system is not working?
damn.

i'm still sick from sat. morning. dammit, nathan.
i was sitting outside with peter, alex, and little dishwasher dave yesterday, and i was complaining to pete how i'm still sick, and he fully said "that's what you get when you make out with nathan." i could not believe he said that! jerk! for the record, i did not make out with nathan. ugh...
anyways...

so i found a place in my room where i can get a signal on my laptop. i'm sitting on the edge of my bed. it's not too bad.
i went to club ren with mel and keith and a bunch of their friends tonight. it was le fun! i never not have fun at ren though, it's great! i met this one (straight) guy there who looked a LOT like mr. church, from aci. it was really freaky. and i met this other (gay) guy who is half hong kong chinese, half french. mmmm... :D yay chinese pride! lol.. he was really really cute. too bad he's gay. anyway...

oh, and sebastian didn't really like my apocalyptica cd. :( well, fuck him for not having good music tastes.

alright, i'm out. i gotta work tomorrow... or today... depends on how you look at it.