last night was fun.
i was on the phone with andrew abela for over an hour, and it was an eye opener. i cried some, and laughed some. got some advice. gave some advice. i'm not making that phone call........
on the phone with eric and cancelled my party. jeff ditched me, what a bastard. my mom started yeling at me for no fuckin reason. had a fight. cried some more. phone with em til 2:30am. eyes all poofy. i look like shit. not at the picnic. can't i rest for a fuckin day?!
just realized i can't work tomorrow and wednesday either.
i'm going to the hospital.
i'm going to die.
still haven't written that letter to my parents. how can you spill your thoughts and feelings to your parnets when they don't understand?

i'm a fuckin failure, yes i know. i can be a street kid. i drink and i smoke occasionally. i'm a hypocrite. let me go hang with my other street kid friends. if that is what you think i am.

do i want to face the people saturday night?
thanks a lot.... i was fuckin WORRIED about you. and tihs is what you led me to believe.


why the FUCK does this happen to me every year?