i know it's not something to joke about, but it feels like i have mild bipolar disorder.
fuck... one day im like crazy happy, and the next i feel like shit. it's probably just the time of year... fuckin.... 6 months already...
worried about carmen.... i hope she's okay.

some chinese orchestra is having a picnic tomorrow and my mom is making me go cuz she thinks i should go meet musicians and build connections. fuck.... i've been sleeping like past 3 every night... getting up before 10 every morning (which is pretty early for someone who sleeps at 4am) and she expects me to go to that fuckin picnic tomorrow all the way in fuckin...lake simcoe?! we have to get there by 10am?! gawd... my ONE day off... and this is what i have to do.

fuck... rick came by cultures today. so fuckin annoying, pissed me off. i don't want to play tennis with you!! god fuckin dammit, leave me alone!!

okay...gotta go.

***

it's past 3... again.
please someone fuckin shoot me becuz i don't want to be trapped anymore.