more random stuff:

- whoo whoo 5 days!
- not feeling like Yuk Yuk's on tuesday... better call Kamla.
- went to stc today and bought more food for Amber. yiiiaayyy
- went to visit Arash at Mind Games. gonna chill with him on wednesday hopefully? i dunno if he's gonna be able to take time off work, but he txt messaged me, askin about hanging out before i leave, and he left me a number to call back, sooo... i guess i should hang out with him. hahaha
- went to Cultures today to talk to rebecca about the rest of the money she owes me. i'm probably gonna get it next week.... when i'm in Waterloo! goddammit...
- was nice chatting with Maggie again. she asked me if Mark called about his party, i said no. oh well, no big deal. i don't think Mark is a good target anyways, because i'm not a homewrecker. lol!
- gotta call Audrey to ask what's happening on friday. bah!

random shit that comes to mind:

- counting down... 6 more days in t-dot
- ian's back from camp!
- i just read Tracy's blog. i was hoping for a God-free entry, but no such luck.
- i wonder if Justin's back from Italy yet...
- Em's moving in 4 days. fuckin.... i'm gonna miss her! (and her boobs and our wild sex!)
- i've been just thinking of how much i changed within the past four months. ... a lot. *sigh*.. and there's no going back. not that i want to, of course...
- i'm suddenly really missing Loo. i wanna go back... now!
- damn.. what is Jeremy gonna say about my piercing? dammit... ah well. he'll be okay with it... hopefully. Jeremy's cool... even if he does scare me a little. (he's my violin teacher at school)
- i was telling my mom today about last night's dinner and.... just thinking... how the hell did we manage to spend like, an hour talking about toilets?! wtf were we thinking? lol... Dougie telling me all about the unwritten rules of men going to the bathroom. hahaha! and he was all serious about it too. haha! aww Doug...
- Peter was hilarious last night... "What the hell are appitizers? and this little piece of napkin?! How do they expect you to wipe your mouth with that little piece? What the... cloth napkin? don't you put those on your lap? why the hell would you wipe your mouth with something that has crumbs on it?! Chinese restaurants are so simple... you get the food, you eat the food, and you get a napkin. no questions asked." HAHAHAHA!!
- i wanna go to Loooooo

ok ok i've put off blogging a new post long enough.

but first of all, i just wanna say: i just watched Bandages on Much. oh, the memories... sweet sweet memories...

okay... so yesterday was a very action packed day. i got to HSC at 8:30, so for the full hour, i read the newspaper and finished some breakfast. 9:30, Ruth comes down and one awkward handshake was exchanged. personally, i think it was her fault, becuz, u know... bad handshake... anyway! we went up to her office, chatting about school and stuff. apparently she kinda teaches at Laurier too! anyway... we chatted about music therapy, and she showed me a handout she usually gives parents, and two other pamphlettes, and then she goes over the first handout, and i asked questions, stuff like that. then she points to the photos of the kids that she works/worked with. it was so inspirational, really. and then she showed me this one picture of this baby girl, and right when she told me she died, i swear to god... i started tearing. omg... she was so sweet. ahh... anyway.. after the pictures, she brought out an assortment of instruments. my favourite were probably the lollipop drums and the nice xylophone looking thing. such a nice sound! after playing the instruments for a bit and chatting a bit more, and another bad handshake, i left. i wanted to cry..omg... cuz i was thinking about that little baby... *sniff*

i decided to go to new tribe to get my jewellery changed, but when i got there, it was still closed. it opens at 11, so i wnet over to pizza pizza and got some... pizza.. lol. and read all the pamphlettes. after that, i went to get my jewellery changed. cost me 15$, goddammit.... oh well.

after that, i decided to go to the art gallery, becuz last time i went, it was closed, and i HAVE to go see Monet before school starts, so... yes. i called Em to see if she wanted to come too, and she agreed. so for the next hour, i wasted time, waiting for her to come. after one hour, i called, and holy crap... she was only at kennedy station. i got kinda pissed off, and walked over to HSC again to get some water. walked back to the AGO, and started lining up, cuz the line was soooo long. hafway thru, Em arrived. whoo whoo. anyway.. okay this exhibition is SOOO important that i am going to have to make a whole new subheading for it.

The Turner/Whistler/Monet Exhibition:

the first panel was already beautiful. there's something about just starting at three huge photographs of these incredible artists... chills... esp. Monet, becuz we all know that i'm there just for him. the first room was mainly Turner's work. it was really nice. very impressionistic. soft and flowy. i kinda wanted to skip it, mainly because i didn't know who he was, but i thought, 'i'll keep reading slowly... i'll get to Monet soon.' so i kept going thru everything. Em went by really fast. i didn't see much of her, which kinda pissed me off, cuz i waited pretty much an hour and a half for her, and she's not even in the same frickin room as me. anyway... Turner's paintings were really dreamy-like. trees and fog, mostly. the second room was Turner and some Whistler, who is an American who lived most of his life in France and London. Turner is an English. okay... so in the third room is pretty much all of Whistler's watercolours. they were reeeeaalllly nice! the smaller ones were so intricate, like...wow... but anyway.. regretfully, i got bored after a bit, because i still haven't seen any MONET works yet. after a couple more Turner's and Whistler's, i started seeing a bit of Monet's. hoooollyyyy crap. it's like, UNREAL, u know? after reading so many books and seeing duplicated works, this is the REAL THING. oh man.... okay, i walked into the next room, FULL of Monet works, and standing right in front of that painting of the sunset, the first actual fully Monet painting in the fully Monet room, i was overcome with emotion. imagine.... 80, 100 years ago, Monet standing in front of this very canvas, his brush creating the wonderful, incredible strokes. it's breathtaking...like... omg.. i can't even comprehend. the next painting right beside that was no different. Em came up to me at that point, and i tried explaining to her how much this meant to me, but i guess she didn't understand, cuz then she told me she finished the entire exhibition and she's gonna move on to other places in the gallery. so i said bye, and she left. i kept going, totally in awe. all the different variations of the bridge! and the parliament! oh man.... in was unreal. okay, in the next room were pretty much all the paintings of the bridge and the parliament. it was incredible. before i walked in there i was thinking 'omg... this is it...'... hahaha! anyways... i went in, and went through everything again. there was this big board, explaining Turner, Whistler and Monet's trips to Venice, and in 1908, at age 68, Monet and his wife Aice, went to Venice together. it was so beautiful, that Monet regretted not going earlier. when he got back, Monet planned on visiting Venice again soon, but never did, because Alice died not too long after, and Monet wanted to keep those lovely memories of Venice, some of the last happy moments with Alice. and on the other side of the entrace to that room was a huge photograph of Monet and Alice in Venice, feeding birds. OHMYGAWD. i looked at that picture and started crying again. it was so beautiful. Monet was a powerful lover. he loved Alice. so much that he did not even return to Venice. he fuckin loved her. *sigh*... it's beautiful.... i sat in that room, surrounded by Monet's work. it was such a powerful feeling. it was so real. i started crying again (sorry, i'm a nurd. and a crybaby). anyway... after that, i went through more paintings, skipped the Turner and Whistler ones, because after i've seen Monet, nothing else measures up. the last painting of the exhibit, was the colourful sunset of S. Georgio... or something... i forgot the exact title of it. anyways, i just sat there and started at that painting for so fuckin long. it was sooo nice. just imagining Monet sitting in Hotel Savoy... over looking the parliament, or the bridge, bidding farewell to Turner and Whistler's spirits.... *sigh*... it was like meditation, in a way. even though there were so many other people in that room, it felt like it was just me. and that painting was crying out to me. before yesterday, i didn't think much of that piece. just another Monet piece that's a bit more colourful. but now... it means so much. i'm going to buy a poster of that painting someday. for sure.

after the exhibit, i went to look at the permanant gallery, careful to avoid the henry moore sculpures. but after a little bit, i called Em, and told her i'm going home. i've seen that stuff all before. so we met up, went to eat, then headed home. but none of this matters, because the only thing that matters is that I SAW THE ORIGINAL MONET PAINTINGS. and it was worth every cent of my 15$. i wouldn't mind going again, to be honest. bought a couple of postcards, and a poster of the ad for this exhibition, to remember by. it's lovely.


and today... i worked for 8 hours, and then went to dinner with the people i went on the china trip with. lots of fun! can't wait til the next one! doug (or i think now we can call him dougie) drove me home. all in all, a great night.

i just realized today that i'm moving in a week and a half.
4 months pretty much flew by.
can i have a *moment*?

*

*

*

who wants to take a one day roadptrip with me to Loo sometime soon?
or maybe i should go by myself.
talked to paul last night about the phone call. it's incredible how much i trust him, AND i take all his insults. what a nice person i am.
ha ha ha!
anyway, so... i've been doing a lot of thinking. i guess i shouldn't expect anything and just let it all unfold itself. argh. i kinda want another phone call... just so i'm sure this isn't a joke. if this happens, i hope to god it won't screw up. and that amy and i are still gonna be friends.

ok, em's bunny got his balls cut off and he isn't horny anymore, thank god. and maybe he'll stop peeing on her bed.

ok i can't think of anything else worth posting.

wow...
so last night at 3am, Justin called me... all the way from frickin ITALY! it was really nice hearing from him, and catching up a little. Melissa's there too, and apparently, so's the whole quartet. pretty cool... they're coming back in a couple of days, how exciting! we've made plans to hang out some, if i ever go back to loo sometime before school starts too, so... im looking forward to that.

it's pretty ironic how things turned out... hm. i'll have to give it more thought.

***

i gave it more thought and couldn't come up with anything. and now i'm hungee.

ok so guess what?!
my internet's fixed! whoo whoo! AND i bought a wireless router today, and i have internet my my laptop again! oh, the beauty of it all...

i pretty much spent the day with my parents today. it wasn't too bad, actually. i saw dorothy at Best Buy when i was getting my router. it was nice! i haven't seen her since that time i visited aci. went to stc to collect my paycheque, and rebecca barely looked at me, that bitch. AND it's another messed up cheque. so tomorrow, or soon, my mom and i are going in and talking to her about it. Em and i spent about half an hour sorting through all my cheques and days that i worked and hours and how much rebecca still owes me, and how cultures is soooo messed up. i've decided to give her back the last two cheques i got, and making her do it all over, correctly. so now she's pretty much owes me (before taxes, which isn't even necessary) $777. almost 800, fuckers! lol... yeah... messed up, huh? yea...

oh, also i was talking to paul last night, and i was telling him about nique's party, and i told him how i'm not a homewrecker and what happened with me and mark, and paul was like "awww-homewrecker!-awwwwwww"
lol
he said homewrecker really fast, and then said aww again. lol... silly paul! but anyway... yeah...

ok, im done posting.

ooohhh myyy gaaawd... last night's party was soooo much fun!
em and i were the first ones there, even tho we went there at 7:30. jordan kevin and shelby came soon after, but then they left to eat dinner. haha nique got sooo mad. hm... more people came, blah blah blah... we started up the bbq, ate food, mickey pretty much gave away his cigarettes, and we ate some more. oh oh! i got to meet jasmine. haha i feel special. jasmine is damien's geetar. :D and i got to meet matt from wonderland. haha he's awesome. um... oh, then we started up the muzik!! ohhhh man... honest to god... it was the BEST. we all sat in a circle, and there were like, maybe 12-15 of us. i was feeling the beat. after our first song, one of our best (in which me and damien had a music *moment* and so did me and dannanny. we were like, so synchronized, it was incredible), nique's parents came out, and nique's mom was like "did u guys just make that up?" and we were like "yup!" and she's like "wow...that was really good! you should do that again and record it!" and we said "no, we can't do it again." and then she's like "oh... well, that was really really good!" :D!! and then they left. we kept playing more. the other best ones were the vocal ones. the first time around, it was tough, cuz i was trying to match someone's pitch, and since nique was the loudest, i pretty much tried going along with her notes, but she kept singing weird notes, and they were freakin challenging! she was giving me hard notes to play... lol. nique was like, "sorry i'll try not to sing hard notes for you anymore!"and then nique's parents came home again and her dad told her to get her saxomophone, so she did, and then we all played some more muzik! the sax gave us more variety in sounds, and it was great too, cuz i wasn't the only instrument with pitches. andrew abela called me around 9:30ish, and i told him to come, but he said he had this ooother party to go to. pfft. anyways... soon after that mark called!! yiiaayyy! they arrived, finally. i was like "i thought u got off work at 3!" and mark was like "yea that's what i thought!" so... yeah. and by that time, we finished the raga, so no more music. kevin jordan and shelby left. we just sat around talking, and carmen came!!! yiay carmen! she bought booze, and at first it was only me, her and nique who were gonna do shots, but then mike came! so then he was there, and then i felt bad leaving mark and maggie and em outside, so i called them in to do shots with us, and eventually, everyone came in, and we had i think 11 people doing the shots. it was fun! um... and then i after the tequila, i wanted to do another shot, so i asked mark if he wanted to do a shot with me, and he agreed and he wanted rum this time, i was like, okay... so we did a rum shot and it was so narsty! omg.. ugh! anyways... after the shot we all went back outside, and i was pretty buzzed. so we were just sitting around, and then em and maggie decided to take a walk. so mark and i just talked about... stuff. and then we did another shot. me, mark, carmen, and nique's dad actually (cuz he walked by right when we were pouring, so carmen asked if he wanted to join. haha!). it was awesome. then maggie and em came back, and we pretty much spent the rest of the night sitting in the living room talking, and watching people go in and out. raffi joined us for a little while, when we were talking about interesting stuff. haha! mike came in for a while too, and we were saying how we owe each other a night and it's been postponed one too many times.... and mark can join us! haha then mike was like, "okay, but the male-female ratio has to be equal!" so i'm like "okay, fine, emilia can join us too." hahaha! :D! and then abela came for a bit, but then left pretty quickly. and then colleen, niall and brent left. and then... the four of us were all sitting on the couch, and it was pretty funny, cuz i was pretty much sitting on mark, and i'm like "yea, i'm not a homewrecker!" but u know... he was okay with it and that was a little weird. around 2:30, em was complaining how she wants to go home cuz she's tired, so we left and maggie gave us rides home. hehe! it was exhilarating. lol... anyways. i told mark that since his mom and sister were away, he should have a party, and i'll go to it. haha cuz he lives pretty close to me, so he's like, "okay." haha hilarious. so then maggie got to my house, and mark moved up to the front seat, and we had a *moment*...lol..it was beautiful. lol! hilarrrious...

and that concludes my night. :D

P.S. i'm not a homewrecker!!

argh.....3 and a half hours of sleep just doesn't cut it for me.
bloody hell... but last night on the phone with paul was cool
tonight is gonna be weird. and mark there....
well, i'm kinda glad i was informed. but still... fuck.
i wanna sleeeeeep
bloody bloody hell.

i'm DONE with cultures. DONE. rebecca can take all those fuckin smoothies and shove it up her fat asian ass. bitch. SUKA...
the only thing i'm gonna miss is all my beautiful regular customers (esp. the dude from Coles and that woman with the glasses...)and the kitchen ladies. and working with maggie and susan of course...

on a happier note... garreck came in today!!! omg, yiay garreck!! he's like, the ONE aci dude at laurier with me. *sniff* so lonely... we chatted for a bit, then he had to go eat lunch and go back to work. but we exchanged numbers, so that's aallll good. :D

two days til nique's party and i still haven't called mark to confirm. ok, will call tonight for SURE.

i bought new jewellery for my piercing at green earth!! they're preeeetttyyyy... :D!

wow... okay, before i start typing what i initially was gonna post about, i'd just like to say that i just went on the internet from my cell phone! it was cool...

ANYWAY...

okay, wow... the past weekend has been soooo incredibly umm... weird.
sarah's party was frickin amazing, to say the least...hahaha. oh man... i apologize for that last post. i was really really drunk. anyway, i thought it was quite funny. hahaha! oh but when i went to bed, i felt like i was dying. it actually really wasn't cool. i was numb.
the next day, saturday, i had a HUGEST hangover... for the entire day, i'm not even kidding. oh man.. it was soooo bad. but then i went out to brunch with my brother, and that went okay... y'know.

saturday was also another kind-of-life-changing day for me too, becuz i hung out with karen (cuz she was bored) and well, we went to white haven park and just sat on the swings and talked, and karen told me about aaron. OH MY GAWD..... ok... honestly... i came home after dinner that day with my brother and cousin, and i called paul, and we were first just talking about the party the night before (which i will probably go into detail later) and then i told him about aaron, and for fuck's sake... i started crying on the phone. omg.... i want to visit him sooooo bad. i know i have't talked to aaron in more than a year...maybe even two... but still... he used to be one of my best friends... and now he's so sick... fuck... life is so not fuckin fair...

anyway... yea.. so i was also on the phone with paul.... that was really interesting. apologized for being so stupid on friday and thanking him for helping me. and apparently, lots of stuff happened that i had absolutely NO idea i did... or happened. omg... it was sooo bad. oh oh! i'd also like to mention that i went to stc earlier that day and went to visit ben at west 49, and i was chatting with him and i said something really stupid. lol... it was hilarious. anyway... so apparently i did something while i was with matty....?!?! okay.... honestly, it really sucks, i really don't even know that happened... um.... okay.... anyways... oh yeah... i talked to eddy on saturday, and apparently he WAS waiting for me... only at tim horton's, goddammit. well i apologized to him already. and talking on the phone with matty was interesting... but i only remember parts of it. bah.

ok, anyway, saturday night, i went to waterloo with audrey cuz bernard was moving his stuff out of his rez and had to put his little fridge in my room and i had to open my house for him. so we did that, then we went back to his rez and starting packing all his stuff. it took sooooo long, omg... but audrey and i had some really cool convos in the car and while we were waiting for him. and in his rez too. at one point, bernard was like "hey drey, how do u know when a watermelon goes bad?" cuz he had half a watermelon in his room. and i replied "when there's no water in it!" hahaha oh geez.... i was still a little messed up. haha. after packing everything, we went to eat, and then drove home. and we even got lost. it wasn't very fun.

***

ok. i was at work today, and Mme Limeux came in! okay, she's like, my gr.7 science teacher. and i only had her for one year... and she still remembers me. haha. hilarious. and i JUST came back from dinner with my family, and guess who i saw?? Kevin Lam. omg.. i haven't seen that boy since, like.... i dunno, S.A.M?? anyways.. it was cool. he's at centennial, and he still talks to Andrew Liew. omg.. i haven't seen andrew liew since he moved like, sooooo long ago. and apparently, he saw Po Kit not too long ago too. *sigh* white haven memories..... hehehe. kevin was like "yeah, you changed a LOT!" and i was like "how...? physically?" and he's like, "yea, everything!" hahaha yiayyy.. i guess? actually dorothy wrote that in my yrbook in like...gr 12 or something too. change is good, i guess.

awww... i want a white haven reunion... that would seriously be soooo cool. i saw jennifer lee on the bus today. she didn't really change much, but she looks older. hehehe! yiay jen! haha aw man... i miss my white haven friends now. bah. i wonder how aaron is doing... *sigh*....

OH. MY. FUCING. GAED... OKAY.. SORRY IMSOOO DRUNK IRGHT. NOW. OPK IM JUST BLOGGING, SO I CAN READ THIS TOMRROWOWO WHEN IM SOBER AND READ HOW STUPID I AM.

WOW... . OKAY.... YOU KNOW, I JUST BARFED. THAT IS REALLY NOT COOL.
EDDY JUST DROVE ME HOME. AND THEN HE DICHED ME. OK,I TOLD HIM TO WAIT FOR ME.... BUT HE DIDN'T. WTF.

I TALKED TO MATTY ON THE PHONE. OMG... IT WAS WEIRD. HE TOLD ME TO CALL HIM.

WOW... MOST OF MY DRUNKENESSS WITH WITH JP. HE WAS COOL. I HAD FUN HANGING OUT WITH IHM. AND HE HELPED ME WHEN I WAS JUSTY ABOUT TO PASS OUT. I REMEMBER WHEN LYING ON THEB GRASS AND PEPLE POKING ME, TRYING TO GET ME TO GET UP...OK, TIHS IS THEWIRD....


OMG.... I NEED SONE WATER.

OMG.... IM GOING TO BED NOW.

HAHAHA THIS IS GONNA LOOK WEIRD IN THE MORINGIG

AM I GONNA BE ABLE TO GO TO ART CLASS??

THANKS AGAIN, JP...REALLY APPERCIATE IT...AND I LOVE YOUR GIGELE.... HEE HEE

kaleb got the boot! oh man.... he sucks too, it's no wonder.
anyway.....


so i see someone has blogged.
hmm...
wtf... i'm NOT angry. i'm over it. don't make it sound like it's my fault.... again! i'm tired of your shit.



holy fuck... great way to end the night.

omg..
ok, this is gonna be another canadian idol rant:

- i missed kalan's performance today!!! boo hoooo!!! but i still voted for him.
- jacob is fuckin HOT (see picture below), omg... *swoons* AND he's an amazing performer

- aww... apparently joshua got voted off last week... and he's the guy from sarnia too! awwww...
- and also, apparently, last week's topic was rock and roll. i can't believe i missed it!!! OHMYGAWD!!! grrrrr... i would've LOVED to watch jacob and kalan rock out. lol
- hahaha omg, after watching today's episode, i suddenly realized how kalan and AMY WALLACE kinda looks alike...hahahaha!!!! (for those of you who don't know her, she's this girl from my school...also a violinist) or...amy's brother, since they're both male, but amy and her brother practically look like TWINS

- argh... i still can't believe i missed kalan's performance today.....BOOOOOOURNS!!
- i love singing!

just for sarah's sake: baby norbert has about 45$ in his tummy now! whoo whoo!!

goddamn my stupid computer. internet's been down.
but anyway...
sunday was a good day, even work was pretty good. after work, rebecca and i talked and fought and argued for a whole fuckn hour. and then i couldn't reach nique, so em and i went out. dinner was great, and so was dancing in public- muahaha! decided to go to jack astor's for drinks! ran through stc first like a couple of drunken dykes. lol! it was hilarious! get into J.A: "hey it's my birthday! what do u recommend?" the bartender thinks for a minute, and comes back with tihs fuckin AMAZING cocktail. mmmm.... oh man, it was so fuckin delicious! after the drink, i'm ready to pay and he bartender says "we don't do this often, but since it's your birthday, this drink's on me" omg! :D!!! that, was amazing. shoot some pool, laugh at how horrible we are at it, take a couple of trips to the pee room, and we're back for another. i said to the bartender "ok, i want something purple." he thinks for a second and then nods. comes back with this grape drink. it was pretty strong, but good. i asked what the first drink was, and he said it was called a Fish Tank, and it's only available here. so i said ooooo and finished the grapey drink. mmm.... paid and left a huge tip (for the drink i got for free).

yesterday..... yesterday... dt with em (mike didn't come with us! boo hoo). check up for piercing, then HSC.. fuckin univ kids sitting around the information desk. gawd... they can't do anything. went up to the 4th floor, chatted with andre (no timbits tihs time), and he helped me find the mus. therapy woman's office, but she's on vacation. i told andre how he's better at information than the actual information kids. he laughed. then we went to see christine. talked about the lead in my body and other health related issues. got invited to the next pacermaker gathering. whoo whoo! it's gonna be fun, i better be free that weekend. my name's on the newsletter! i feel special... lol. (at this point, em would be most likely saying "yes...special needs!") left HSC, talked and em told me how she almost cried while we were talking with christine. awwww... i was like "why?" and she said "becuz we were taking about you! i don't want you to have a lead in your bodyyy!!" awwww... and then we headed to AGO. argh it's closed on mondays?! frickin...frackin.... so we hung out in the gallery shop for like an hour. pahhhh!! i wanna see MONET! *sniff*... walked around queen st. and black market, which was really crappy. went home. and the family shit begins again.

mm..... i need to get a life... or rather, a better one.
sorry billy.. i'm not always angry. just stupid people make me angry. and there are a lot of stupid people. myself included.

3 hours of work today... fun. training em. wow... i actually got her a job. i'm impressed. thank me and my wonderful arguing skills.

**

oh, and i just have to mention how excited i am for nique's party! for more reasons than one..... *grin*

oooohhh maaaaannnn...
just got home. what a killer night. *sniff sniff* i think i got a cold... or maybe it's just allergies. won't post much about it, but the best part: my cupcake, candle, and a song! *tear* oh i feel so loved! thanks andrew and sarah!

um... so yeah.. today's my birthday, but intead of being joyous, i'm incredibly tired and i also feel like shit. oh, and im also hungry. hmm... so what else is new? well at least today's a nice day! i can't believe i was having a conversation with both denny and mike about shrooms last night, that was the weirdest thing that could happen. bah humbug! buuuuuuut, i have found myself a loyal dealer.

anyway.... i have work in 25 minutes, and i'm starving. oh my gawd... mmm... tonight will be fun! i guess i'm not going to Taste of the Danforth, but can't wait to hang out with nique! yiaa-aayy...

oh! oh! i forgot to mention: I HAVE BABY NORBERT!!!!

so mark finally answered his phone, but he won't be able to make it tonight. stupid work. it was fun chatting up a storm with him though. muahaha! i am eternally grateful to maggie now! hahaha. i told him about nique's party, and he's probably gonna be able to come. yiay!

i was at stc with Em today (and maggie, cuz she was working) and we saw BEN!! (well, i see him quite often, but that's besides the point) and we commented on how he looks like a poet. hahaha! it was funnay! cuz he does!

anywhoo... HAPPY BIIRRFFFDAY SARAH!!!!! EYE LURRRRVE YOOOOUUU!!

good things:
- i successfully told my parents that i'm sleeping over at sarah's!
- i watched the full 2 hours of DC!
- went to stc and talked with maggie
- chilled with my cousin, who drove allll the way from mississississ...
- went to lcbo!! and krispy kreme (ramy wasn't working. blargh!)
- got free smoothies, and rebecca sweet talked with me, that bitch (she said "as long as you're happy!" <-- because we all know that she's afraid that i'm gonna quit for good)
- maggie is still going to try to call mark tonight. *cross fingers*
- denny and i shared a lottery ticket. muahaha

bad things:
- jen died!! omg!! poor amy! *sniff*...and jack is hot! even if he is gay with doug.
- i'm hungry
- maggie didn't call me last night. :( x like, a million
- rebecca didn't leave Cultures today, so maggie and i couldn't chill

things that happened today that are significant:

-talked to rebecca about quitting.... apparently, i'm not ....what the hecK?!
- good times chatting with maggie
- reallllyyy good times.
- talked about mark
- omg... maggie, you're gonna call him? ah shit! tee hee hee hee!!!
- okay call me tonight when he answers his damn phone.

anyways.... so that little rant was basically maggie trying to hook me up with mark. muahahaha!! (even though she denies going out with him before, i think she lies!)

i wanna go to boston pizza right now.

anywhoooooo... ERIC'S BIRTHDAY TOMORRROW!!!!
i'm outtie.

OHMIGAWD!! MY PRETTY FOREIGN BOY IS HOOOOOMMMMMEEE!!! YYAAAAYYYY!!!

post more later.

***
okay... so i went to TGH again today...






ok dammit.
sorry, i can't type right now. i've been chatting with Pat for a while, and it's making me sad, and i don't really want to write about hospital visits. Pat's such a dear... don't know what i'd do without him...

this will be a happy post, i promise...

K.D. LANG'S GOT A NEW CD!! OMG K.D LANGGGG!!!

*JOO- OOOHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNYYYYY- YYYYY*

***

so... i've been thinking about getting another piercing. or a tattoo. i haven't decided yet. tragus...left or right? i don't know. and for the tatt, probably one of my own designs. but where? don't know. any suggestions?

last night was fun.
i was on the phone with andrew abela for over an hour, and it was an eye opener. i cried some, and laughed some. got some advice. gave some advice. i'm not making that phone call........
on the phone with eric and cancelled my party. jeff ditched me, what a bastard. my mom started yeling at me for no fuckin reason. had a fight. cried some more. phone with em til 2:30am. eyes all poofy. i look like shit. not at the picnic. can't i rest for a fuckin day?!
just realized i can't work tomorrow and wednesday either.
i'm going to the hospital.
i'm going to die.
still haven't written that letter to my parents. how can you spill your thoughts and feelings to your parnets when they don't understand?

i'm a fuckin failure, yes i know. i can be a street kid. i drink and i smoke occasionally. i'm a hypocrite. let me go hang with my other street kid friends. if that is what you think i am.

do i want to face the people saturday night?
thanks a lot.... i was fuckin WORRIED about you. and tihs is what you led me to believe.


why the FUCK does this happen to me every year?

i know it's not something to joke about, but it feels like i have mild bipolar disorder.
fuck... one day im like crazy happy, and the next i feel like shit. it's probably just the time of year... fuckin.... 6 months already...
worried about carmen.... i hope she's okay.

some chinese orchestra is having a picnic tomorrow and my mom is making me go cuz she thinks i should go meet musicians and build connections. fuck.... i've been sleeping like past 3 every night... getting up before 10 every morning (which is pretty early for someone who sleeps at 4am) and she expects me to go to that fuckin picnic tomorrow all the way in fuckin...lake simcoe?! we have to get there by 10am?! gawd... my ONE day off... and this is what i have to do.

fuck... rick came by cultures today. so fuckin annoying, pissed me off. i don't want to play tennis with you!! god fuckin dammit, leave me alone!!

okay...gotta go.

***

it's past 3... again.
please someone fuckin shoot me becuz i don't want to be trapped anymore.

once was enough, i just wanted to try, you said.
and now my worst fears have become real.
but im such a fuckin hypocrite.

6 months... half a year. what can i say?