i just got off the phone with Matty a couple of minutes ago. it was very upsetting and tearful. it ended okay though. i vented out almost everything. i really needed to, and it helped a bit. i know how shitty Matty feels about all this and i'm sorry for it, but i can't help it. i tried setting things right, though, even though i was the one angry as hell first. few people really know how i felt yesterday. it was not pretty. anyways, i'm starting to get off topic. the point of this post is........ well, i don't really know. i can't sleep right now, and i just want a hug and someone to tell me everything will be alright. but it's quiet and everyone is sleeping, and nobody is going to give me a hug and tell me everything is alright.

life is shitty right now, but we'll get over it. if life were a tightrope, this is only a wobble. the walker has not fallen just quite yet.
***

Matty, remember, we have to be friends forever and die together. you just told me that. we have a long way to go. i hope that this is just a wobble in the tightrope. call me anytime. Rusty says hi.