i honestly don't know why i still come back. nothing good ever comes out of it. if it's not my family, it's my "friends". holy fuck. i'm pissed and i've held this in for far too long.
ok maybe it's because i hardly ever see you guys, and you don't like explaining shit to me cuz i'm never there for it, or maybe i'm just not "cool" enough, because i don't smoke, i don't know, but i know i hate not knowing what goes on around here, or in guelph, or whereever, and i think you should know too, since y'all claim to be my friends. it really doesn't seem it thogh. no one tells me shit, am i really that low and not worth telling anything to? like holy fuck. i hope you guys will take time out of your precious lives and step into my shoes and think about it in my perspective, because it really hurts me. i don't know what you all really think of me. i've been told you think i'm some innocent little girl who knows nothing, and i'd just like to tell you that if you think that, you really don't know me at all. which is really upsetting in itself. and if it isn't, i'd really like to know what it is, intead of being just kicked aside. i've tried putting myself in your shoes, and i came up with a couple of reasons why you wouldn't want me around, but if it were a problem, why didn't you speak to me about it?
anyways, i hope the ones who i'm directing this to, and i think you know who you are, will take this seriously, because certain people (not naming names) do not ever take my seriousness seriously. it is not a laughing matter. this has happened one too many times. i've always tried to push it away, think the problem is probably just me, but i've been fair, and i really don't know what makes you think that i don't compare to you all. i would honestly like to know.

and i bet no one ever going to respond anyway, and i've just wasted half an hour of my unmeaningful life. i hope you're happy. goodnight. i hope you are all having the time of your lives. happy birthday nique.