omg, i haven't posted in sooo long. my damn computer's been broken (it still is) and i had like, NO time, until now! i'm at the public library. hahaha! exams sucked. especially bio. i fucked up on that SO bad. *sigh* everything i studied leaked out of my head.
i went to joanna tang's concert last night, audrey's cousin on her dad's side. ne ways, she was AM-AZ-ING!! i swear to frank!! she was so totally awesome! i had tears in my eyes halfway through the song, and when we got home, my mom's like, "is she your hero now?" i'm like "yeah" listening to her play last night encouraged me to work harder (even though i know im lazy and all) but if she can do it, why can't i? and plus, she's older than me, so it'd be even harder for her. anyways, she's won a competition to play solo with the ACTUAL Toronto Symphony Orchestra! i'm sooo excited! cuz see, i'm going!! i just emailed audrey, and i told her about it, and hopefully, her parents will be able to go. it is really worth it.

anyways, i just read jordan's blog, and it got me all depressed and pissed off because of that thing with kevin. i totally agree with what he said about him not talking and all. and i know kevin and i are drifting apart too, ever since we got back from the summer break. and now, with all the conflicts and everything, i'm not even sure if i consider him a friend, or just "someone i know". carmen talked to him, and she told me today about what he said. carmen said even he doesn't know if we're "going out" so, like, what the fuck?! i'm VERY upset about all this. well, not "now" as in NOW, but ever since she told me. like, i can't talk to him about anything! (i couldn't really before, but i can't even more now) and everything's fucked up. does anyone know what to do? i know it's up to me to fix this problem at the end, and i have written him something, but i forgot to give it to him this morning in our math exam. he was complaining that he fucked up on the exam and he only got 3 questions. well, honestly, no offense or whatever, but he didn't work hard, he didn't do his homework, and it's pretty much his loss. can't blame anyone but himself. which is pretty sad, i should say. i tell this to everyone, "you get what you worked for", and it's true! i mean, i've worked pretty damn hard in math this year, since i failed last year, and what am i getting in math now? 87%! it's like, my best math mark i have EVER gotten. and im really happy about it! so...yeah.
well, when i get my computer fixed, i'll talk to him, i guess. i can NEVER talk to him at school or whatever now. it's pretty much like we're strangers.
arggg..now i feel like shit. i think this is the blog where i've written the most swear words. i feel bad, but whatever.
*siiiiiiggghhhh*
what to do. what to do?
whatever, i'm out.