hey, look here, cai lab stalker, i happen to LIKE prison break, so you can get your OWN blog and post about YOUR favourite show and leave mine alone!

heh heh...

i'm at the bus terminal in vancouver. i can't believe i'm actually getting internet right now.... crazy!

anyway... my week has been fantabulous so far, other than the shitty weather, but it's aaaalll good. i can deal with a little rain, and lots of cloud cover. haha i am anxious about getting back to seattle though. i actually really do like that place.

anyway... my bus is coming soon, so im gonna go wait outside. ta-ta

wow! i have a cai lab stalker?? that's seriously awesome. lol! whoooo aaarrreeee yoooouuu??

anywhoo, it's been a while since i've posted, exams are FINALLY over, and the partying have begun. yyyeeeaaa!! but it's been bittersweet, since a bunch of internationals are leaving in the near future, or have already left. it's been a fun 4 months. and don't worry, i'm pretty much over spanish boy. he never called, and i'm sure he's in new york now, and after that, he's goin back to spain. so... whatever. onto bigger and better things!.... or... people! yay!
i'm currently back in the borough, but i'm leaving for seattle in 3 short hours (not short enough!)
last night's christmas dinner was good times, even though there were only 5 of us. it's okay. we listed off all the people absent and came to the conclusion that were were only sad that carmen wasn't there.
but i wanted mikey to be there too. :(
we wanted to find a cafe for coffee and dessert, but WTF, all the cafes in dt were closed. what a stupid system. so lish went home, and the 4 of us (me, kamla, nique and kevin) went to ballroom (a bar in scarbro). met up with damien, elliott, and aarne (whom i haven't seen since nique had a party last time). it was fun!

anywhoo... i should start packing now. i'll try to post again soon, but....we'll see. i might be too preoccupied with prison break. what a sexy show! rawr

ta-ta!

this weekend was pretty cool. mainly hung out with familiy. sat. night, met up with paul and went to andy ahmed's bday party. it was okaaayyyy.... so weird hanging out with younger people. only people i knew there was andy, paul, chis and nigel (!!). haven't seen nigel in soooo long. we had a deep convo. it was pretty intense. im gonna be his friend/therapist. haha kidding. not therapist. just a good friend. i told paul about javier (i still don't even know if that is the spelling or if it's even his name) but anyway... we also set a date for him to fuckin FINALLY come to loo to visit me. and he said i have to introduce him to javier and see if he's an ass or not. lol i told him that he's super nice. paul's like, ye we'll see. lol. anyway... so yes... um...... i dunno what else to say.
javier is leaving on december 25. fuck. well, i suppose that is good, cuz then i can force myself to get over him. :( fuck i hope he calls me soon. i gave him my number last thursday at caesar's.

anyway.... this is a lame entry. i fel like shit. so im gonna go home and sleep.

i only posted 4 days ago?
wow, felt like a long time. finally it's thursday, and i only went to one of my classes today. stupid psych.

lately, i've taken to good ol' journal pen-to-paper writing. it's good times.

katrina has brought me back to "real life"... back to my old depressed thoughts time. my happy utopian thoughts left for a bit. it really sucks. i was so happy before this week. like... unnaturally happy. i need a boost of motivation. damn katrina, that bitch. i despise her much.

anyway... i'm working in the MOFO in 25 minutes, so im gonna go grab some food now. ta-ta.

this weekend was pretty fun. olivier cmae down. went to kbbq and the bluffs on friday night with him, nico and mikey. it was so dark though.... i wanna go again during the day sometime.
wnet shopping dt with nico olivier and fanny yesterday, good times. ....
kinda...
haha...
ditched them at 4:30, met up with airick, and got my belly button re-pierced! finally! went to this place called lower east side's. it was pretty good. the piercer was very thorough. he talked so much, and so fast. i couldn't even ask my questions! bah. and he tricked me! it was kinda funny though. it was over so frickin fast. and no bleeding! yo... last time i got it done, it bled so much. so yea... this guy is totally legit. and tihs time i got pierced with a ring instead of barbell. at first i was like....ring, huh...?? but now i like it more than the barbell. it's different. and quaint! tee hee
it still is sore now (it's only been a day anyhow).
last night... went by karen's place to give her her present. i think she liked it! it was awesome catching up with her. missed her so much. i wish we could hang out more. :)

anyway.... goin back to loo in a couple hours. bah. stupid school.

btw... HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAUL!!!!

ok i'm done!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BETHANY!!!
last night was fun. party at beth's... sex cranium... birthday wedding cake... it was fun hanging out with music people again. well... not as great as STRING parties...lol! kidding...
josh came by too! it was great seeing him again (met him at the spur last week) starlight was good times! better than last time i went with internationals. two of his friends came by, and they were super nice too. they're musicians, and i think one of them is hooking me up with thier band. exciting!!! i looooove modal music. but then they left after a bit, and josh went with them. so then i left soon after... bumped into nelson (again!) right outside starlight and went by his place to chill for a bit. things got awkward, and i got him to drive me home. yeahhh..... not cool.

anyway...all in all, it was a fun night.

now i just have to find a way to pull 7 pages of essay outta my ass.

no internet at home... sucks.
school has been going. starting to get motivation again. yiay, i suppose.
going to see skinnyphat tonight at the duke, can't wait! but i hope i don't see heidi there, bah!
yiay for life lists
where should i go on vacation this christmas?
where should i live and what should i do in january?
decisions decisions!
anyway.... that's about it.

heheh thanks BilyBilly :)

the past two days have actually been better.. went to the Duke last night with Klaus to listen to Chalkline. I miss JohnnyB. he got my number so we could hang out :) then we went over to the Rude (even tho i'm banned, but whatever!) and hung out with Shaughn and the closing bartender girl. it was good talking to him, and not txting. lol i asked him what happened last time with him and Nate, and he told me he was just messing around on Nate's phone. and the message i got when he told me to stop calling him (that one got me PISSSED OFF) was actually his wife! :O!! i knowww.... apparently, she stole his phone while he was sleeping and i guess she saw the messages and txted me. *tug at collar*
haha now Shaughn knows to delete the messages...haha.. oh well.

then he drove me and Klaus home. it was a fun night, it's been a while since i went out and actually had fun.

i'm supposed to be studying right now, but.... meh... i'm in the CAI lab.... just listening to music. and waiting for Fanny (my roommate) to finish work so we can walk home together.

anyway...nothing much else to post. ta-ta

What I did Yesterday:
-woke up, and showered
-met up with horn girls
-went to Cynthia's funeral
-cried
-back home, watched a movie on the couch
-thought about life and friends
-cried some more
-thought some more
-Rude Native to pick up my cheque
-went to wilf's with Johanna and a bunch of internationals
-listened to Craiggers
-went home, cried, eventually fell asleep

What I did Today:
-woke up, and showered
-went to my one class
-home, and got ready to take grad pics
-went to take grad pics
-MSNed in the concourse
-home, read the newspaper, and cried
-thought about life and friends
-cried
-moped around
-cried some more
-painted
-thought about life, friends, family, people from my past
-and now i'm back in the concourse.

**

i fuckin did nothing productive the last two days. and i keep forgetting appointments and things i need to do. god fucking dammit. i have 5 weeks of school left, i can't believe i'm slacking so much. i should be working, but i seriously can't concentrate, or do anything.

oh, by the way.... i got banned from the fucking Rude Native. what. the. fuck.

2 yrs today that Aaron passed away. still thinking of him.

who the hell still reads this thing anyway?
well... whoever you are..... much love.
anyway.... i don't have anything else to say.

halloween was kinda shit, other than the fact that i got to dress up. me and aurora just went to diff. places incl. dan haid's place. crazy. yay music parties, but not really becuz i barely hang out with any of them any more. stopped by the Rude. saw nate shaughn rachel rory (!) cam and coryyy(!!) well i guess shaughn and nate and i are okay now. i don't know? whatever, i don't really care.

went to starlight for a bit...12$ cover! wtf. well, aurora paid for me, so that's ok.. went back to dan's place and there was a styrofoam fight. bah. anyway.... aurora got uber drunk and it was not fun getting home because she kept going on about nick storring. ugh. anyway... that's about it. i want candy.

geog. lab today was actually not so bad. i learneded. :) i can now watch the weather channel and understand what they're talking about!

oh... on sat. when kat and aurora got home from the choir concert, kat told me that cynthia...died.?
wtf?
i'm pretty sure it's the cynthia i know. johnson? french horn? boyfriend who works at long and mcquade?
fuck.
can't believe it.
why do friends die around this time of year?

2 more days til 2 yrs since Aaron died. damn... it's been two yrs already.... feels like last month. *sniff*

i wanna go to Cynth's funeral. shit... i need to get in touch w/ Brandon (her bf).... and maybe delete her off my MSN list? hm... and also, i guess i can't return her book to her anymore. shiat.

makes me think of how quickly and easily people, esp. friends can go. honestly... i remember it wasn't too long ago i saw her online. and maybe a month ago last time i talked to her about school in Nipissing. anyone of us could be next. goddammit, thinking. i am sad. comfort me?

alright, i'm outtie.

***

edit: ok so it is the Cynthia i know. just went to L&M to see if brandon was working. he wasn't. i just left a message with someone who worked there. called Beth to see if she was gonna go tomorrow, but she's not home, so i left a message as well. so we'll see. hard not to cry on the bus, because reality sunk in.

-no love for shaughn and nate for what happened last week with the txt messages

-yay i'm passing cognitive psych!

-boo i'm failing learning psych

-back in scarbro til... uh, tomorrow .... halloween parties!!! i wanna go club-hopping... gotta see if aurora is up for that

-got a new red corset top at le chateau! will work for my costume (fairy!) and will also look nice for Christmas!

-me + my brother = not friends

-more later!

went in to the Rude last night...wanted to talk to Heidi about my money, but she was so busy fucken flirting with every male specimen in the damn restaurant. fucken dyke. lol... she knew i was standing there waiting for her to fucken stop talking. ugh. i'm gonna have to try and find Brad's (the owner) email and tell him about it directly.
the good thing i was there though.... i saw my favourite kitchen boys last night! Shaughn, Nate, and Seabass (still gorgeous)!! *heart* Nate cut his hair! fiiiiinallyyyy... lol... it looks good! oh, i miss my rude boys... hehehe

starlight last night with a bunch of internationals... it was fun! but i don't think a lot of them liked it. ah well! some random guy started talking to me, so i started talking to him. hahaha i haven't done the hot random thing in a while... it was cool. and he was actually pretty hot! lol i know! he invited me to this party in some hicksville next week... haha... so i gave him my number and maybe he'll call. :P

anywhoo.... wind ensemble concert today. i almost forgot! and i have to HM it too! haha imagine if i forgot....lol....that would be terrible! hm.. i wonder who will be ushering it. i'm really gonna have to take charge today. no stepping all over mandy. muahaha

alright... im outtie.

why is it that everytime you try to forget something bad that happened in your life, someone always manages to bring it up again? it's like they're doing it on purpose or something. shit. so my cousin called me last night, while i was in the concourse talking to johanna and florence, and started asking me about stuff with my brother and my mom. yes... another person to convince how much of a bitch i am, but i don't care.
or maybe i do, but i'm suppressing it?
i don't know.
point is... i deal with my problems. i don't go prancing around getting other everyone involved and let them solve my problems while i sit here and sulk.

this past weekend in TO was pretty fun friday, hung out with mikey in the afternoon, tried getting pierced, but that didn't happen cuz apparently, im anatomically challenged. :( i'll do it eventually...muahahaha... and then mikey and i went to see micky. i haven't seen that guy in almost 3 yrs! holy crap. it was good seeing him. after we left, mikey went home cuz he had to work at a concert, and i went to meet nicolas. we went to his apartment, looked at pictures from montreal and video clips. haha his roommate is pretty antisocial. i tried making conversation with her, but she was just kinda ignoring me, or giving me one-word answers. ah well... nico and i just chilled in his room. after all the pics were sorted/exchanged, we went to eat. it was pretty cool... we were gonna go to hard rock cafe, but the wait was sooo long. so we just went to get pizza. haha... good convos about life and childhood and significant others. :)

saturday... went to ikea with my mom, then dt and hung out with joey. it was cool seeing him again. just walked around eaton center, went to a couple of comic book stores, and then to the sound post. called up nico, and joey called up his friend josh. we all chilled together. joey probably thinks me and nico are craaaazy! lol...we kept laughing. but josh is suuuuuch a nerd. lol! more than joey, i think. hahaa... but that's cool. we just hung out at wendy's and talked.... then went home.

orchestra concert was awesome! congrats to ANDREA!!!! YYAAAYYYY!!! that girl is friggin amazing. anywhoo.... im tired again. all the damn time. and my brother is fuuuuuct. seriously.

anywho.... off to bed i go.

ok i wrote this long post last night then my comp fucked up.... so i'll try again.

so i went to montreal with fanny, some other international students, and nicolas last weekend. it was pretty fun! well... sometimes it was stressful. mainly for me, since i was with a friggin huge-ass group of frenchies, and all they were doing was speaking french. it sucked. saturday, did a lot of sightseeing, met a lot of fanny's friends. sunday was fun, went to olympic stadium, drove around, visited ecole polytechnique, since olivier goes there. it was fun. that night we went to st. hunbert's for thanksgiving dinner, but we had chicken. hahah... damn frenchies don't celebrate thanksgiving. lol. anyway... after dinner was when the bad stuff happened. first our car got towed away in the parking lot. we had to fork out 100$ and sit in a weirdo's car to get it back. sooooo sketchy. then i drove olivier home, with bad FRENCH instruction. fuck.. so pissed off. then when i dropped him off, they were all just chatting for a while, and i started crying cuz i was sooooo stressed and upset. anyway... whatever.... then nico drove, and when he got to our hostel, he tried parallel parking, but he wasn't used to driving automatic, and the street was crazy steep, and he crashed into the car in front of us, and that car crashed into the car in front of that! crazy! but it was late at night and no one saw, so we just left. needless to say... i parked. ha.

the only good hing to come out of it was that that night we had a looong talk in our room, in ENGLISH, so that was good. it's kinda sad to think that it took a towed car and a crash to get them to converse in english. *sigh*...anyway...

the next day, olivier bussed all the way to see us off. it was so awkward between us. ugh... i hate when that happens. he's such a great great guy... i felt so bad about it. but at the same time... not really. but yea... i'm gonna invite him to come to toronto maybe. so we can hang out. :)

driving back was cool. stopped by ottawa. the weather was PERFECT. we just chilled, walked around, ate lunch on parliament hill. sooo beautiful. i think it was the best day of the weekend for me :)

anyway... the last couple of days have been pretty shitty... tired all the time and such. bah. well, going back to TO in 20 minutes. yay i get to hang out with people who matter!! *heart*

alright...i'm outtie...