wnet in to the rude tonight (well, technically last night) so see if heidi had my cheque and to buy stuff off ryan and to talk to shaughn. but alas, none of them were there. but guess who was closing again?
haha yea sebastian. he closed last thursday when i went in too, but i didn't talk to him last time. tonight, i actually had a conversation with him in the kitchen and outside in the back. well, pootz was there for the first part, but then this new girl, ashley, came out and complained about not getting her food, so pootz went back in. and well.... katrina was there too, since i used her car. but i guess it was good, cuz it made things less awkward. dammit, i haven't actually had a full conversation with sabby in sooooo long. like before i asked him out. and now, i can't stop thinking about him. goddammit. but in any case, i'm glad things are not as awkward as they COULD be. so it's a good thing. i wish i could get over him more, but i can't.

anyway... going back to TO tomorrow with fanny and johanna! i'm actually really excited! but i didn't get to finish all my work. argh. i will probably have to get up early to do some stuff before we go. argh.... boo-fucking-urns. anyway..... alright.... i'm outtie.

i got a postcard from Geoff today!!! it has hot German boys on it, hahaha!

argh... school sucks so much. the only classes i actually enjoy going to are my geography labs. some of them are tough, but i love working with actual people, rather than just sitting in a lecture. got to meet people too! and i got to draw maps!

uh...anywhoo... i got a poster of hot girls frenching at the poster sale last week. hahaha it's hawt. :P oh! annnnnd i booked a day to get my grad photos taken! ohmygad i'm graduatingggggg!!!!! how exciting!

bah... anyways i'm getting distracted so im just gonna go. ta

argh.... i was so disorganized today. it was really frustrating...
went to the rude to yell at heidi, but alas, she wasn't working. bitch, i want my money!!!!! shaughn also wasn't working... and i wanted to talk with him!
and then fanny and i went to caesar martini's with all the international students. it was good times. ugh... i don't like that the hot german dude is always hanging around that little asian chick mentor. she annoys me.... a lot. girgou was sooooo drunk. it was pretty funny. we had this convo about relationships and how im kinda shy about talking to pretty boys. hahaha...
anyway, i think fanny and i bonded tonight! it was good times, shes such an awesome person :). johanna came sooo late, cuz she had to attend this bday party. fanny and i wanted to go home sooo bad, but johanna insisted that we wait for her, so we did, because we're so nice (ha ha)... but when she got there she didn't want to leave (of course) and then she saw that we looked so bored, and so she was like "if you don't want to be here, you can go home, i'm gonna stay"... that commente, even though i know she didn't mean anything bad by it, really bothered me. i mean.... we fuckin waited for her for an hour, she doesn't even say thanks, and then she brushes us off after she sees other people she knows?! that's not really fair... so fanny and i just went home, and made dinner (yes, at 2am) and watched the sweetest thing. heheh good movie! i had to explain so many slang terms to her... it was funny though, cuz she kept asking me if people actually say it, and i kept answering yes. (fanny: "don't be a dick....? what's a dick? do people actually say that? can i say it?" me:"a dick means a person who is afraid or nervous.... it also means the male genital part. i don't think it's a good idea to say it to everyone.... hahaha")

anyway... then johanna came home at 3... and joined our movie. i don't know if she sensed that i was a liiiiittle distant with her, but nevertheless. oh, and she borrowed my shirt this evening, which i graciously lent her, but while were all in my room, i reminded her to give it back, and she said something like "i can't have it?" or something.. hm.... WTF?!?!??!
anyway... she still has it right now, so i will get it back from her in the morning.

alright.... time for sleep.

wow..... i haven't written here in sooooooooooooo long!
i hope people still read this. i don't know who would though.

anyway, my summer's end has been bittersweet. lots of fun reunions and parties, esp mine, eric's and sarah's birthdays at velvet. good times! on my actual birthday, nate, natalie, and i went to fubar with some of nate's friends. i saw so many ppl i know there! WARREN!!! *heart!* so....yea... other updates, i quit the rude native, mainly because i seriously can't stand the management anymore. it sucks because i really really miss some people there, namely shaughn, nate, ryan, and all the old crew. i also built character by asking a boy out. it was fuckin damn hard.... but i did it. i got rejected. pah. oh well... i'm glad i sucked it up and did it though, because now i will never have to wonder if it could ever happen. yay for life experiences! oh.... if y'all don't know who it was, it was sebastian. yeayea.... anyway... a million thanks goes to my dear shaughn for helping me out so much and being such an awesome friend. *heart!*

oh, and i quit drinking after my birthday. i'm gonna test my will and see how long i can go with it. it's been good so far. i only had one downfall, but it was only because mel came back to wloo to visit, and we went to ren. and she talked me into doing a shot with her.

crazy bad times with raj, the horrible subletter roommate. but he's gone now, and currently i have 3 new roommates, two of which are international students, and katrina, a mus. student. johanna, fanny and i get along great. best roommates i've ever had, but katrina.... she's a strange one. really. none of us like her. last weekend, first weekend since school started, we hung out 3 nights in a row.... thursday at the flying dog (i saw bethany!!!), fri at rev, and sat at alaxy cinema. yay international students!!!!! seriously, all the people i've been hanging out with are international students. it's great, i've been meeting tons of people. hot international boys!!!!! :D well, the guys i see most often aren't really that hot, but they're super nice. a bunch of germans, and chin! hahaha the crazy chinese dutch boy. lol... it's awesome though, when i first met him, i thought he was gonna say he's from china or something.... but i never expected netherlands to be the answer. but it's awesome, he speaks dutch!!!

i'm trying to learn german now, because of my roommate johanna. she taught me so many words already, it's great! wierluch!! hahahahahaha!!! (inside joke) german culture and germany is sooo interesting. ahhhhhhh.... i'm gonna go there someday. hehehe so yea, we all went to see a movie sat. night, and the girls and chin went to see the last kiss, and it made me so sad..... i actually thought of matty. omg, i know. crazy. someone slap me. but the rest of the night, chin was bugging me about which part i cried in and why. i told him to leave me alone. haha but then we all wnet to morty's afterward, and him, johanna and i got into a conversation about relationships, and then i did tell them the reason.

school-wise.... it's going okay. i have labs!! it's actually not too bad, i get to draw maps! hahaha! lots of reading though... reading all the time. and i only have one female teacher. pah. but she's cool. i didn't get into orchestra. surprise surprise. ugh.... i'm not impressed with the violin section and penderecki this year. 15 new violins?? not cool. i worked sooooo hard to prepare for my audit. too. fuckin penderecki. anyway....

i am really tired, so maybe i'll just post again tomorrow. i only have one one-hour class tomorrow. night night!

so today was a pretty good day, considering yesterday was so shitty. i worked a split today, so it gave me hours. (7.42 to be exact) lunch was quite good, and after that i studied a bit outside and watched the rain. then sebastian arrived (and was sooo hot) and hung outside with me and told me about his trip to the big rave thing and florida. we also talked about dancing in the rain, and rainbows, and other...raves. heh. dinner was also good. steady and stuff... our party of 27 went super, and i loved how sabby actually told off shaughn for slacking off talking to alison. heh heh... i got cut around 10, then actually left, cuz the band sucked. while i was walking home, my brother called, to tell me that audrey arrived! i was gonna call when i got home anyways, but no matter. i heard baby anya in the background, got to chat with audrey, and i even talked to cassia!! for the first time! *heart!* oh mian, she is sooooo cute. it totally made my night. when i got to my house, my house neighbour was taking a walk outside, so i went to talk to her. her baby is coming soon, so i gave her my number and told her that anytime she needed help, she should call me. sidenote: i also want to play with the baby. haha!

so last night was definately not as good as everyone thought. well, first of all, i didn't even feel like going out after work, i felt like crap. but i sucked it up, got hmoe showered, and dressed up. i actually felt a loooot better after that. chilled for a bit on the patio before bussing there. all was good until patrick got reeeeeaaaalllllly really drunk. everyone had to take care of him, and he was also being really forceful and all. meh... long story. anyway... it made me pretty pissed off. dear keith talked to him, and he layed off the rest of the night. i felt so bad, but whatever. so yeah.... we left at 2ish, walked up king st., pat puked a bit, etc etc... eventually, taylor, keith and i just left the rest of them and cabbed home.

anywhoo... i missed david gallagher last night too. it really sucked, i was looking forward to seeing him play at the rude for over a month. oh weeeelll... i might get to see kyle tonight.... if moebius isn't coming. i'm pretty sure moebius aren't coming. in any case, i want to go to work, just so i'm around people... bleughh...

alright... i don't have anything else to say, so bye.

this past weekend in toronto was better than i thought. well, it was probably due to the fact that i went back to wloo the next day, but that's besides the point. toronto street fest wasn't thaaat great. but i got to go shopping! yay for new clothes that are actually new! also took my grandmother, whom i haven't seen in 5 years and my aunt to lunch. yay for yum cha!

last night after work, i actually had a moment with sabby. *gasp!* i know. i asked what he was doing that night and he said nothing, so i invited him to play monopoly with me and pat and mel, but he didn't want to. he said he didn't like board games. pfft. then we went outside so he could have a smoke.
alright we hung out all of 5 minutes, but it was better than nothing! and he didn't say anything offensive either. *heart*

monopoly night was le fun. we turned it into a drinking game. hahha good times! both mel and pat got sooo drunk, and sean and keith didn't drink because of work, and a lesson this morning. what was funny too were the casual conversations about how pat and i are going to start dating once mel moves to hamilton. haha yeah, we'll see. *tug at collar*

anywhoo... i'm gonna go. i'm gonna drop by long and mcquade's and check out some electric violins before heading to work. then skinny phat and chalkline tonight!! whooooo!!


edit: oh. my. god. the electric violin is orgasmic! i got to test play it for a bit, and i honestly did not want to leave for work. i was having a blast! the one i think i'm gonna get has this reverb effect installed into the violin, and i used that with the delay effect, and it was soooo wicked awesome. oh mian... i think i'm going to have to buy one.... soon.

skinny phat is HAWT.

- since i told shaughn about the thing, he's been teasing me about it. it's actually pretty annoying. pootz is a way better person to tell stuff to. yay. but i don't think i'm going to do it anymore. i hate second thoughts.

- research methods has officially started. i just got my textbook and software today, and flipping through the textbook, i'm already dreading it. ugh.

- canada day sucked for me this year. i worked, then hung out with shaughn, nate, beckford and sabby. all we did was sit on the patio and drink. i was disappointed.

- dying dreams are scary.

last night was great, for so many reasons.

i finally told shaughn about the thing, and he gave me okay advice. we had a long talk about it, while he supervised pootz closing the kitchen. so i pretty much stayed til they were completely finished, which was about 2 and a half hours. i told pootz too, because he is actually one of the other people at the rude i actually trust. they both agreed that i should do it, and shaughn and i actually compared schedules and worked it out. and then yeah, the three of us had some good convos in the kitchen. mostly about work people and such. it was fun. after they closed, shaughn walked me home (it was 2:30am and i didn't want to walk by myself), and we had a seriously deep conversation. it was so intense. we talked about the other night, and he apologized to me. when we got to my house, we just chilled on the porch, and kept conversing, about everything. our childhoods, family, relationships, take on life (such as homeless people), and about that other thing. it was awesome.. we were on the porch til 4am. but it gave me plenty to think about. he did not do anything this time.

anyway, yeah, it was a really great night, i'm so glad we did that talk. everything was out in the open and i got to know him way better. makes mandy happy :)

~~

the pride parade today was good times. kamla and i had lots of trouble meeting up with mel and jay and the rest of them, but eventually, we did it. the parade itself was a lot better than last year's, but there's definately not as many people as last year. oh well. two of mel's friends left halfway through, and then dave and his friend had to leave afterwards, so me, kam, mel, jay, and a bunch of jay's friends went to spring rolls for dinner. it was super fun. i haven't hung out with a goup of chinese people in sooooo long. it was actualy kind of weird. they weren't fob or anything, but they were joking around and speaking chinese, and i actually understood it. wow, huh.
after dinner, kamla and i went to the young/dundas square, and i bought this really wicked awesome dress. it's hard to put it on though.... so... i need to practise.

speaking of practising, i haven't really practised in two weeks, except once for half an hour. i'm definately not looking forward to tomorrow's lesson.

anyway.... off to bed i go.

last night, work kinda sucked, because i was so tired at the end, and sad because shaughn reminded me of the thing i was gonna tell him, and i couldn't tell him yet, because other people were around, and then mike (from skinnyphat) sang the sweetest song and it made me think of someone from long ago and that made me sad. and then i got home, and my house smelt like smoke, because obviously my roommate was smoking in his room again, and i called my landlord, and he didnt answer his phone, so i left a message. but then mel left me a text msg on my phone, and then keith called me from her phone, and i went over to their place, and we hung out for a long time, and it made me happy again.

the end.

my weekend was pretty bad, except for hanging out with kevin.
after 5 days, it was back to the Rude last night... it really wasn't as bad as i had anticipated. first of all, jen wasn't working at all, so that certainly made my night a lot easier (although she did come in just to chill). another thing was that this was the first time in almost a year that heidi did not show up on a wednesday night!! oh. my. god. i know. apparently, john and heidi had a fight or something of the sort, but either way, it was GREAT! a couple of us were talking in the kitchen and max was like "i'd pay john to keep this up." hahaha! so would i. anyway... after work i went over to the duke and met up with mel and pat. well, i invited shaughn and alison too, but after waiting for him to finish up, him and alison kept fucking talking... omg... i wanted to slap them. after 10 minutes of just standing there holding the door, i was fed up and just went over myself. they came eventually, and alison informed me that they helped max put up all the chairs. heh heh...too bad. so a shitload of staff were hanging out at the duke, and it really was a lot of fun! rory's friend, chad, was trying to hit on me sooo bad. he was sitting with mel and pat and i, and when chad started touching my back and my arm, mel almost had to stop him from getting up and punching him. yay i have good friends who will save me from old men! haha... anyway, chad kept insisting that he wanted to hang out with me and i should go with him to cameron's house to drink, and i was like, "um.... ask my friends, i'm gonna go whereever they go" and i turned to mel, and whispered "say no!". so he did ask her, and of course she said no. haha, it was kinda funny. anyway... i was a bit disappointed that alison was stuck on shaughn so fucking much. i was hoping i could talk to him about this thing i was thinking about doing, and i needed his opinion. but i told him that i would tell him another day. so mel and pat and i left the duke, and walked to 7-11 to pick up snacks, and headed to her place to hang out for a bit. it was good times... and pat eventually walked me home, since mel had to work this morning, and neither of us did.

and i didn't get the kids' art camp job. boo hoo.
honestly..... i'm not that upset over it. it would've been fun and everything, but i wouldn't want to work at 8:30am-4:30... then work at the Rude.

oh, one more thing before i leave: i was watching Ellen this morning, and one of the guests was this guy named Matt, and he travelled around the world, dancing. it's actually really really funny. there's like clips of him dancing in every country (except canada) and y'all can check it out at www.wherethehellismatt.com

have fun!

so my mother's birthday yesterday was pretty shitty, sice i was in a shitty mood all day, and she got pissed off at me for getting pissed off at this stranger walking in the parking lot. then she complained about how horrible a daughter i was and our family sucks and how unhappy she was. and my brother was being a reaaaal asshole. i was reminded of why i stay home for no more than two days. anyway... when we got home, her and my dad left for the office, and i called up kevin and we hung out at white haven park. it was good times, and definately good convos. then a certain someone kept calling his phone, which got pretty annoying after the 3rd one. and i got 4 lovely mosquito bites right on the ass. wonderful.

and now my arm hurts because my driving teacher's car fucking sucks.

work sucks, family sucks, i hate people, and i'm sure people hate me.


thanks, G, for a fun night

watched The Man Who Cried yesterday.... it wasn't as good as i expected it to be, but it was alright. made me sad at the end.

last MT session yesterday was great, i got to videotape the first session, that was fun. i didn't play anything in the second session. meh. hopefully my schedule will work out in the fall do that i can start up again. MT sessions are fun!

anywhoo... i guess im not going to the PSQ concert at perimeter institute on saturday, since no one will be able to cover my shift, but it's okay. i haven't been to one q-fest concert yet, and i probably won't this year.

damien's bday party on canada day? fuck yes, if i can take the day off work! raggas are fun when you are willing.

anyway... i'm outtie. til next time i find an signal on my laptop.

last night, shaughn walked me and gloria home after work.
not cool.

patio was fun.

alex got fired.