CARM! -- have you applied to the Guelph Rude Native yet? omg, i hope you get it!! i sooo would put in a good word for you, but Charity's the general manager there, and i hardly ever see her. but if i do, for sure, i'll tell her how fuckin awesome you are!


in other news... i was as fob as i'll ever be last night, and it was actually kinda fun. i went to the market with my parents and my cousin and her fiance (whom i didn't expect to see, and that got me kinda pissed cuz i don't like him, and i was hoping to chill with my cousin). anyway, we went to First Markham Place, and it was packed. soooo many people! hehe... and i bought fob candy. haha... just kidding. well, it was some Japanese candy, and it was good. but yeah, it was fobby. hehe... and then i was gonna get a little windmill, but they sold out of the kind i wanted. oh well. oh yeah... it was also amusing, checking out CBC boys. ok, honestly, some of them were pretty cute. haha... imagine me dating a CBC. hahaa!! anyway, after First Markham, it was about 11:45, so i was like, let's go to Pacific! lol... i don't remember ever wanting to go to pmall before. well, i wanted to check out the Chinese shirts. but yeah... anyway... when we got there, there was about 3 minutes before midnight, so they were gonna countdown, but then the people on the stage were making this big speech, and it went past 12:00, but they counted down anyway. lol... it was pretty funny. and then the lion dance sucked. i was pretty letdown, because i looove lion dances. mostly for the drumming. but yeah, even the drumming kinda sucked. oh well... we walked around, and most of the stores were closed, so after looking at two stores that sell Chinese clothes (and didn't get anything), we left.

aaanyway... that's my fob story.
percussion concert tonight! whooo!! i'm excited!

last night was pretty shitty. i had to close with Andrea, so naturally, i had to stay late. well... i was supposed to be done by midnight, but she wanted me to do all the little stuff. and fuck, if they cut my minutes again, i will be fuckin pissed off. went to starlight for Sanja's birday, but there was a fuckin lineup. what the hell? i've never had to lineup at starlight before. at 12:45am? so i was waiting for about 20 minutes. dancing was pretty fun, so that wasn't too bad. by 1:45, i headed to the Vault, cuz i promised i'd show up with a bunch of my work friends. the Vault fuckin sucked. it reminded me of how much i dislike hiphop. like... the first 5 minutes were okay, cuz i was still pumped from Starlight, but yeah, after that, i was like...umm... okay... let's go. heh... Alex is a pretty sweet dancer though, i must say. i enjoyed watching him. :) anyway... we left soon after, and they wanted to head back to the Rude for one last beer, but Andrea left and everything was closed, so Michelle drove me home. whooo...

anyway... yeah, i'm in scarbro right now. i had a lesson today. i was rushing to get to the greyhound station, i totally forgot to bring my violin. haha.. i know, i'm s-m-r-t. so i used my brother's violin, and my teacher had a copy of my Bach concerto. yiay.

anyway, oh yeah. happy new year to all my Chinks! i haven't gotten any money yet. i'm looking forward to it though. haha i remember when i was a kid, comparing how much i got with other people. and i always hated the spoiled kids who always get over 200$. fuckers. anyway... yeah... i think the money i get this year will go towards my onecard, cuz i have about 10$ in there. ugh, i hate school food, so fucking expensive.

anyways! i feel like getting a little Chinese shirt, just to get into the spirit. haha... and it's too cold for my Chinese halter. so... yeah.. lol... i'm a nurd. but i can't help taking advantage of what my culture offers me! lol!

ok, i need to stop now.

ugh.
i'm in a really pissed off, spaced out mood. it's probably because i'm home alone. my roommates all went home. when you're alone, thinking happens.

anyway.....
last night's concert was pretty damn cool. my favourites were Pete Lamont's music on the cartoon, and Margaret's vocal composition. it really creeped me out, but Pam and Nicole did an awesome job. the Duke was seriously a lot of fun. yay for Ruth's Olaf's and Pam's birthdays! I also knew a lot of people who were there who weren't from school, like Erin and Cam (my fav bartender!) and Candice and Mike (who was playing there last night) and... Brad. i went to the Rude to say hi, and to see if Alex was finished work, but when i got there, apparently he already left. so i chilled with Rory, Troy and Katie for a bit. Tony made me a drink, and then Rory bought me a second. so yeah, it was great, i got two free drinks! i went back to the Duke, and hung out a bit with Erin and Cam, talked to Brad for a bit, and chilled with piano Matt and his friend. eventually, Johnny (who plays at the Rude every wednesday) showed up, and bought me a beer. :) anyway.... ireally don't feel like writing, or donig anything right now, so i'll just say that it was a fun night, and i chilled at Dan and Ruth's for a bit before going home.

and i REALLY don't like Caroline Arnason.

that is all.

*grin* i have a secret...
thanks, tim, for being such a buddy! it was fun!

work was pretty cool yesterday, even though it was really slow. i met the new hostess girl, Katie. she is so awesome! she kept forgetting my name. and she forgot Alex's name, and she was like "what's your name again? Herman?" hahaha really, out of all the guys' names in the world, she picks Herman? lol

anyway... after work (after midnight)... i debated whether or not to still go to Starlight... i went. it was super fun! aahhh i always have fun at Starlight, that place is the shit! Matt wasn't much of a dancer. boooo. i got him to do some moves though. haha... but he stopped after like a minute. pooh. but it was fun nonetheless, and i left after about an hour. back to the Rude and drink. haha yay Cameron, my favourite bartender! good times chatting with Katie, Rory and Alex. :) and at 3am, Katie drove me and Beckford home. whoooo


the concerto competition this morning was incredible! congrats to all the finalists! i'm seriously rooting for Phil, Renee Kruisselbrink (she seriously is good), Lorna, and Andrea Herzog, the first yr cellist. damn, that girl is good!!

anyway... i probably should go practise my play and sing or something...... ta.

hee hee i'm watching the American Idol auditions, some of hem are pretty hilarious.
ooh, the twins performances are damn good though.

i miss miracle boy. haha i'm a nurd.

anywhoo, Marijn reads my blog!! Hiiiiiii!!!!

HAHAHAAHHAHAHA OH MY GOD....THIS GUY WHO JUST SANG IS HIIILARIOUS!!!


whooooo... that was ... something.

anyways.... something more serious.. Mar: remember a long time ago, you sent me that fanfic from the Sugar Quill? i finally got around to reading it, and i've been reading and reading, it is SO good!! but i don't understand why Sirius and Remus are living together in a lodge. and why they can only spare two rooms when apparently, Remus owns a whole lodge? i know that's irrelavent, but it bothers me.

um.. okay, i really have nothing to post. life is slowly getting better. planning to Starlight it up again this friday. everyone come!!!

soooo i just got back from the Rude. i wanted to go to Melissa's party, cuz i haven't been to her place in a while. and Matt (piano) never came to visit me :( i got sad. haha... not really. but i did want him to visit me. and he was gonna be at Melissa's. haha. but i also enjoy hanging out with my work friends, so i stayed. Alex and i had a deeeeeep convo. it was pretty intense. Sebastian kept coming up to Alex and Alex was like "hold on... hold on." ...hahah... yeah, he was in high demand tonight. everyone wanted to talk to him. heh. but it's all good. Troy came in and started conversing with me about some cell phone software and me playing violin at his parents' dinner party. it was really confusing. but i went along with it. haha.... i don't think he had any idea that i was really really confused. and then i had an interesting conversation about piercings and thongs with Sebastian and Johnny. it was.....different. haha

it was a good night, made me think a lot, after that convo with Alex. yay for reflecting.

anyway... i'm off to bed.

thanks, beth, for the new yr's party. it was fun.
alex and beckford came with me, since we all finished work at relatively the same time. i don't know if they had fun or not. i hope they did. i'm kiiiinda regretting not getting formal tickets, but it's all good. i get to work with the best people in the world! and alex is coming in (it's his day off) and buying me a drink. :) yiayyy! anyway... so after a bunch of people left, beth and i had a deep conversation. it was pretty deep. and we need to have a huuuge talk soon.

all in all, it was a good night. and i emailed deacon, the piercer at tora tattoo. i'm making an appointment soon. next week-ish. eeeeek!! i'm exciiiiited!!!

~~~

i'm so glad choir was cancelled today. i actually got to chill at home... clean my room... hang out. i even enjoyed sitting in my room and organizing my binder and doing some homework. i haven't been able to actually sit and do homework in a looong time. and it feels like i'm never really home. it's been a busy (and somewhat life changing) week.

*pause*

i feel like having a deep conversation.

mian.... reflecting sucks.

~~~

ok i just revisited the past. funny how time makes things so different. last time i did this, i was so sad. this time, i'm like, angry.
hmmm... what does it mean?

jamming and chilling at the Rude tonight was super fun. i'm really glad i went. :) Cam made me a really strong melon cocktail :) i had to dilute it with more orange juice. haha i'm a loser. :) Rory gave me the best kisses and Michelle stole my firecrackers. haha it's all good though, because she couldn't finish them, so i took one. and Geoff took one too. they were yummy. :) and Alex got really into boxing. it was pretty funny watching him. heheh.

anywhoo... skills tomorrow. yay. it's kinda sad how behind i already am in homework. ah well. time for sleep.

a sense of accomplishment is rewarding.
red is a beautiful colour

alright, so tonight didn't go so well. nothing i planned worked out. and my mother went as far as making me feel even worse about myself.

well, anywhoo.... i am excited about hanging out with Geoff tomorrow and tuesday at open mic at the Rude. it will be good times. :) and counselling tomorrow. i really hope it works out. like, really.

Starlight was fun tonight. thanks Fran Amy and Catherine for trying to call me, otherwise, i wouldn't have gone. :) god, i love dancing!

counselling on monday morning, and testing on wednesday. i'm anxious about it. i hope it will work out. i talked to Swinden today, but i was so caught up in telling him about counselling, i forgot to ask for a tutor. oh well. i'll ask on monday.

night, all.

yesterday was pretty intense. i just wanna give a million thanks to Larissa, Pam, Justin, Olaf, and Darryl for being there for me, and Larissa for taking me to the counselling services office this morning. much appreciated.
oh and i can't forget my Rude boys for cheering me up as well. <3 i love y'all.

umm.... well, that's all i wanted to post.

school today really really sucked. it was soooo long and sooo tiring. bah. conducting, i'm still not sure if i like yet. today's class was really weird. kirk was standing beside me, and when victor martens made me feel his ribs and his diaphragm for breathing techniques, kirk was like "there there"... cuz it was soooo weird. *shudder* and yeah i HATE doing 1st yr history again. ugh.

anyway..... last night's staff party was fuckin AWESOME!!! i had soooo much fun! even though sebastian didn't want to dance with me. but it's okay, we took a hot pic together. well, i took many hot pics with many people. hahaha there was so much love last night, it was great! i got pretty smashed, and dancing was super fun.


Me and Cameron, my favourite bartender!






best pic of me and Rory


Tony (Zorro) and Lara


Me, Sam and Whitby


Me and Briscoe, the sexiest DJ around




i swear to god, i don't remember having this picture taken. i was surprised when i found it in my camera.


Tony looks so fucked up in this pic. hee hee!


me and Alex (and Ryan in the corner)


hahahaha oh shush all of yous! i can't help it when i'm drunk!


Rude love, baby




i like this pic!...


... but i like this one more! mmmmmm.....


Sebastian and Rory.. guys are losers for making poses like that. haha!


Sebastian and Dean


Whitby and Brent and Rude love


me and Brent