im in the basement. i've only hung out in the basement once before. it's actually really cozy down here. it's only me shannon and ian down here. tracy went home for the weekend, and fran has shinerama.

shannon and i just came back from the practise rooms. and i checked my orchestra seating. and..... yeah. i'm in the back. all the way in the back. with mike. not mike z.. just mike. again. FUCK. i went to shannon's module and started crying. i don't practise and i'm in the back. i practise like a motherfucker, and i'm still in the back. i've realized now that it's true, no amount of hard work will get you to the top, or even the middle, if it's something you suck at. practise will NOT get you anywhere. if you suck at something, you will always suck at it. and no, it will not get better. trust me. i've tried believing that i will get better. and i never do. that's just how life is.

well anyway, i'm done venting now. ian was commenting on how i always vent on my blog... and it's true.


on a happier note, i went shopping today! with ian, dan and karen. dan was in the same rez as ian last year, and he lives four houses down from us this year, soo... he's over quite often. anyway, we walked all the way to conestoga. it took sooo long. good workout, though. i got new clothes! im so proud of them. haha... ian got the most hilarious pants. omg... they're guy few pants! guy few is the trumpet teacher at school. he is sooooo gay. omg. it's hilarious.

anyways... okay, i'm gonna go now. and...... i dunno.. find something to do.