1. skills was soooo horrible today. omg. jess was hilarious. she was so pissed off at vandenberg, she told him off. lol!

2. i actually did some productive practising today. i'm so proud of myself. i must practise more.

3. finished all the macfuckit except for rhythm.

4. macfuckit? i meant macgamut. sorry. macgamut is my man. if there is ever a computer program that i would marry, it'd be macgamut. he's hot and sexy. rawr.

5. M.A luau was fun! i was all dressed up too. i got leis! yeeeeaaaa.. damn straight. i looked hot. but not as hot an ian.


oh wait! i am hotter than ian! my bad!
OOOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!!!!

6. i love amber, but she's gotta stop shedding. plah! plah!

7. i just found out that ellen is gay. i love ellen. she's my favouritest dory. it was just surprising, is all.

8. i have a lesson tomorrow. yiay. i gotta sleep. and it's before 12:30! oh yeah baby...

u know what i just realized?
i started my last three posts with wow. ha. and i'm also starting to realize i swear like there's no tomorrow. i should probably tone it down a bit.

anyways.. the best, and only good part of the day: warren came over to visit me! :D yes, he actually called me, unlike some guys i know, goddammit. anyways, he lives like, literally around the corner. he tried to fix my fucked up computer, but it didn't work. oh well. haha tracy didn't recognize him. warren was like "hey tracy! remember me? michael jang's friend?" and tracy had this confused look on her face, then "oh yeah!! oh.. sorry!" hahaa hilarious. then i went over to warren's house. it was cool. it's sooo big! well compared to my house. it's a bit older than our's though... but their kitchen was nice and clean, and more counters. his second floor is like our's, slanted ceilings and attic doors, only the rooms are smaller. very cool. warren and i had this chat... and it was an eye opener. *shakes head* oh warren... i didn't know he was that kind of person... tsk tsk. well, e for effort. and brought up history.

anyways... we actually had a house meeting this evening. it went...... umm..... well. *ahem*.

anyways.. the song RyRy Gong recommended me is awesome! One- by Metallica. good upbeat music for all occasions... even sleeping.

4 days til London. eeee!! i'm gonna par-tay like a Western-er!

WOW... what a fucked up skills class. i can't stress how much i don't like Vandenberg. like..OMG! so he was taking attendance today,and he didn't call out some people's names (cuz he knows some already). but james was like, "did u call my name?" and dave (vandenberg...dave has less letters) was like "what's your name?" and james is like "James moat..." and dave looks at his attendance list and says "oh! james moat... i haven't seen you in a while, so i just assumed you were absent... okay i marked you here now!" OH MY GAWD. what a fuckin loser. and then for no reason, he makes me and some other people do solo melodies and rhythms for him after class, but it ended up with everyone doing the same rhythm. like, wtf? i didn't even get to prepare.
oh my gawd... this class is so messed up. and with the ta ka di mi shit... argh. honestly, he can be cute and nerdy, but he can't teach for shit.

and that is my rant. i have to do theory homework now.

wow.. what a fucked up day of laziness and sitting around. my parents came up and visited, and bought me groceries. yiay. free groceries rock.

honest to fuckin god... don't tell me you're gonna call me if you weren't planning on doing so, you motherfucker.
gawd... i can't stand people like that.

***

a haha. just talked to warren. boys suck. he asked me why, and i told him the above statement. and he laughed and said yes, it's true.
damn boys. he said he'll give me a call tomorrow. i bet he won't. but we'll see tomorrow. we will see.

anyways. bedtime.

wow. okay so yesterday sucked.
the only good part of the day was when jon (from western) called me up and told me he was gonna visit me. yiay! but then he was visiting his brother first, so i had to wait like 3 hours. but then he got here and it was a good chat. i think im gonna go up to london next weekend to visit him. funnn... and hopefully i'll bump into the other many ACI people there- jen, yuen, snat?

i went to laura's recital too, it was pretty good. had good chats with lorrina. she's a freakin awesome violinist. she plays in a band and does loooots of gigs. when i came back from the recital, everyone was upstaires and they were getting ready to go out. yiay. i was excited.. never been to louie's before. so i hung around, eventually changed, did a couple of shots, called timmy and justin up, and we were on our way. and to make a long story short, i got kicked out right when we got in and i went home. and i felt like shit. and i felt so bad cuz timmy couldn't come out afterall, and neither could justin, and he was all ready to leave too. he might've went, i dunno...but anyways...next time, PLEASE don't let me drink. i can't stand it anymore.

anyways... i have to go now and clean my house... again.

today, shannon and i read on our porch while ian and dan went to the bead bazaar. but i think we did more talking than reading. a ha. a ha (think of fran). so yeah... shannon and i sat on our porch and talked about boooooyyysss. tee hee! joni glidden? mmm... orgasmic. especially in a suit. rawr. tee hee and lucas! shhh... :D i got to stand beside him in skills today when we sang that melody! it was fun! yiay skills!! (vandenberg sucks at teaching, btw). and i need to meet "hot nathan". he's supposed to be hot. *shrug*.. and we talked about jon, that first year in my theory class! haha awww... he didn't sit with me today. :( booourns. haha i think fran likes hiiim. oooooohhh!!! lol... don't you, fran? :D

anyways, omg, and shannon and i talked about walkerton. it was soooo hilarious. she drew me the map of walkerton. lol. i now know where the 4 traffic lights are! oh yeah... and chad is coming up to loo tonight and we're going to Wilf's! yiay! i haven't been to wilf's since it got renovated this past summer. it looks really nice from outside though.

and last night... many thanks to my fran for cheering me up! *heart!* and YES, i DO suck at the violin. for fuck's sake! i think i'm gonna have a mental breakdown if i keep this up.

jesum crow!
omg, that's bi.

***

i miss you.

me so hot!

shannon and i sat outside and studied today, it was fun! and then the sun ran away from us. boooourns. orchestra was actually fun today! the Brahms piece rocks (!) despite all the hard, fast parts. omg, i love our whole program for the first concert! the piano concerto's awesome, yiay amy lim! and joel's oboe piece sounds great too! im so excited! AND!!! BEETHOVEN SYMPHONY #6, BABY!! YEEEAAAHHH!!!

** SUNDAY, OCTOBER 17TH @ 3PM **

i still hate sitting with mike mc cleery. god dammit! btw, he SUCKED in masterclass yesterday. ugh.

theory was pretty good today. i talked with jon more- he's a cool first year, in my theory class. i have a feeling he's not straight though (not that it matters). he reminds me of jon, jordan's friend from AMC. hmmm?? i think he's going to be my theory buddy. he's good at theory. i'm gonna rape his theory skills. :P

im actually going to go to the gym tonight! yiay! i made ian drag me, so he's dragging me. :D speaking of ian... omg, his bass is SO LOUD, dammit! oh well.. at least he's playing good music.

*note to self: do skills and look over theory assignment before sleep.

yes i am actually posting.
oooooh aaaahhhh

ok well, first it was becuz i had no internet, then it was because i just was REALLY busy and had no time to post, and now... im still busy, but it's mainly cuz im lazy.

no, really... school has taken up a lot of my time. i'm actually working hard this year. *gasp!* yes... im on top of pretty much all my readings. (everything but psych)

went home on the weekend. my cousin henry's wedding. it was...hmm... lovely, yet kind of disorganized. i mean.. they kissed before they were pronounced husband and wife. hmm?? the entire thing took place at Eagle Nest Golf Club, and during the wedding, people were golfing. we were outside taking pictures, and tihs one golf ball rolled really close to us. and then you could hear people cheering up in the balconies. and then another rolled rolled into the lake. that was funny! anywhoo.. omg, hana michael and david were there! it was lovely! i missed mike. *sniff* he travelled all the way from california. (cuz he goes to UCLA)... anyways... yeah. it was fun! free drinks! but they used absolute as the choice of vodka, and it was narsty. we waited and chilled at the golf club til dinner, and to be honest... it wasn't that great. my table: me, my brother, denny and henry, michael david hana, and this other cousin of henry (the groom's), andy. it was pretty fun. we were sooo hungry, and waited long time for food to come. at one point, michael was like "okay, i'm ready for my next course...." hahah! hilarious. and david... oh my little davey.. so cute and grown up now. hahaa. henry(the groom) and lien wasn't very compromising to the games though, which really sucked. there weren't good sports. *grumble* oh well. the most MOST MOST special part of the night was when henry announced that his father was getting tired and he's gonna go home now (he has cancer, and the wedding was pushed up in case he couldn't wait that long... you know.). but before he goes home, he's gonna sing him a song. and it was so beautiful. the first person i saw crying was amber, actually (amber, my cousin....not my bunny). and then i looked over, and the father, in his wheelchair, was crying, and the mother was crying, and pretty much half the guests were all crying. it was so beautiful. apparently, after he left, henry was crying hysterically in the bathroom. my dad was there. *SIGH*...

but anyways...

the rest of the night was kinda fun, i guess. but... meh. us cousins went over to henry and lien's table to congratulate them. it was a lovely moment, cuz everyone was watching us too. the DJ SUCKED though. me and hana went up to him and said "um... could you play some good songs?" haha! good times. lots of awesome pictures taken.

came back to loo sunday.. and another week begins.

***

as i'm sitting here,i realize that this year is pretty much like last year, all over again. only, my house is a little bigger, a little messier, and i have more work. this sucks.

okay so here's the dish y'all:

KALAN PORTER IS THE ONE AND ONLY CANADIAN IDOL!!!! YYYIIIAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!

omg..... you have NO idea... i'm soooo happy right now. i wanted to cry for him. he's such a sweet sweet child. and he's sooooo cute! he's only 18!! *clutches heart in admiration*




on the other hand... no party at beth's. i'm disappointed. no par-taying with mr. abela either. i'm sad.


story of the day: i was in the library photocopying the homework outline for the theory assignment, nad who walks by but mr. CAM MCKITTRICK? and he talked to me. and he actually remembers my name. it was so hilarious. he's like "how's it going?" and i'm like "i'm good... i'm doing theory...cuz i failed last year." and he goes "uh-huh...how is that? can u find the music?" and i was like "yeah.. it's going good.." and then he nods and walks away. i felt so stupid telling him i failed...becuz he was my prof last year, so...meh. and then i spent like 3 and a half hours doing the theory assignment. go me. ok anyways.. i gots to go. thanks to ian's lovely internet, which i still don't have.

i love reliable internet.
unfortunately, the internet i have (had) at home is NOT reliable. yiay for school computers.

fran bought me ice cream. mmm... yummy. but then again, i killed a huge mosquito for her. AND i flushed it. so...yeah.

read a couple of xangas.. oh, i love knowing what's happening back in good ol' scarberia. mikey: don't worry... there are asshole's out there, but i don't think ramy is one of them.
........ but i probably wouldn't know as much as you. so... *hug* you go get em, cowboy.

oh! and the point of this post:

SUPPORT KALAN PORTER: THE TRUE CANADIAN IDOL!!!

points to ponder:

- what a coincidence to have ruth roberts, the music therapist i visited at sick kids during the summer to actually be my music therapy teacher. i was sorely disappointed that she did not remember me. she called me amy.

- two roommates... one always on top of the other. people who can't control their raging hormones piss me off.

- too tired of cleaning up after everyone still. oh, you're reading? well, SO AM I!

- party at bethany dorothy's tomorrow. drinking or no drinking?

- can't wait til the weekend.

- i still want a lexus. a nice black one, if you don't mind. $200 tops.

- speaking of lexuses... alexis' dad (joseph petric) is playing at the noon concert at my school next week! it's gonna be good.

- i have to continue reading... argh music therapy's lots of work.

francine made me garlic bread. it's fucking delicious! mmm... haop! i love my fran!

oh, and i never thought i'd say this, but after listening to the harry potter theme song 5, maybe 6 times over, it's starting to get annoying.

whoo im on ian's computer cuz our internet sucks so we took out the router.

class rocked today. i have vandenberg for skills! he's so cute! haha! it's gonna be a fun year. theory SUCKS. i don't have mckittrick, thank god. i have this new guy named scott amort. *shrug*.. he looks like marius, only a bit older, and no glasses. speaking of marius, he got married this summer! awwww... too cute. oh yeah... pam's in my thoery class. who would've thought? justin's in mckittrick's class. haha too bad. orchestra lasted all of 10 minutes today, and i was late too becuz i have a lesson right before, and it went over time a bit. meh. dwight's in orchestra! haha! yiiiaayyy! he's hilarious.

oh! highlight of the day: i scared ian!! omg... it was soooo perfect. lol. i love me! and tracy's going to fed tonight again. wow... she loves that place, holy shit. anywhoo... i'm outtie.

im in the basement. i've only hung out in the basement once before. it's actually really cozy down here. it's only me shannon and ian down here. tracy went home for the weekend, and fran has shinerama.

shannon and i just came back from the practise rooms. and i checked my orchestra seating. and..... yeah. i'm in the back. all the way in the back. with mike. not mike z.. just mike. again. FUCK. i went to shannon's module and started crying. i don't practise and i'm in the back. i practise like a motherfucker, and i'm still in the back. i've realized now that it's true, no amount of hard work will get you to the top, or even the middle, if it's something you suck at. practise will NOT get you anywhere. if you suck at something, you will always suck at it. and no, it will not get better. trust me. i've tried believing that i will get better. and i never do. that's just how life is.

well anyway, i'm done venting now. ian was commenting on how i always vent on my blog... and it's true.


on a happier note, i went shopping today! with ian, dan and karen. dan was in the same rez as ian last year, and he lives four houses down from us this year, soo... he's over quite often. anyway, we walked all the way to conestoga. it took sooo long. good workout, though. i got new clothes! im so proud of them. haha... ian got the most hilarious pants. omg... they're guy few pants! guy few is the trumpet teacher at school. he is sooooo gay. omg. it's hilarious.

anyways... okay, i'm gonna go now. and...... i dunno.. find something to do.

i found out yesterday at 3pm that i had to re-audition. because i was just that bad. fuck.... well, i headed over to the practise rooms at 3:45, and tried to practise, but i then i started crying in the practise rooms becuz all i could think of was how much i suck, and i suck SO much that the PSQ couldn't even place me in the frickin orchestra. goddammit. anyways... Liz came by my room, and started talking to me, and then helped me with my music til 5:30. it was really great. oh liz... after liz left, i practised the mozart excerpt for another hour and a half. went home and relxed ofr two hours, and headed back at 9. it was brutal. i came home, and tracy left for a while, and ian, shannon and jess and a bunch of other boys went out to the bar. i talked to paul on msn... complained of how stressed i was and how i need to practise more. i was just about to start practising in my room, and tracy came back.... with a boy! tee hee... anyways... i practised a bit, then went to sleep. tracy was like "you're seriously gonna sleep now??" and i was like "yeah? i have to get up at 7 tomorrow!" and her and her friend were like "omg!" lol.... they're so funny.
anyways... so i practised this morning, and did my audition. it went pretty well, except that that excerpt of the..... beethoven. well, i didn't really practise that, but whatever. the the mozart was good. sooo.... yeah! i'm done! shannon, ian, beth, fran and i are going out tonight! yiay! i feel like dressing up. i need to do that once in a while. oh! btw, yesterday was the worst day, since i got here... the only high point of my day was bumping into Garreck, aka Garry Siu, and chilling with him for a bit. AND i haven't seen andrew abela yet! nor tim! they're probably having lots and lots of froshie fun! lol...

omg... today was the general meeting for all the music people, and i saw marius! haha awww... i heard he's married now! ooooo! lol... omg, shannon and fran saw dwight! hahaha ohhhh dwight. i need to see him soon. haha! and i met some of the new violinists! they're cool. omgomg... and IAN MADE IT INTO ORCHESTRA!!!! YIIIAAYYYY!!!! you have NO idea how excited i am. it's gonna be soooooo much fun!! :D!!!

anyways... i probably should head back home. our internet stopped working, and i'm at school again. i was gonna pick up my orchestra rep but the music office is closed and so is the one at the library. soooo... yeah!
okay, anyways... i'm outtie.

wow. holy shit.
ok, so this is what happened:

- i moved in on saturday, ian moved in saturday, tracy moved in on sunday, went hmoe, and came back on monday. but all that is irrelavent, because....

- on sunday, i woke up bright and early to go to the practise rooms, cuz i had a lesson at 1pm. so i started practising at 10:30am. at noon, Liz and Katie came down to the practise rooms and we were just chatting and i was like "yeah, i'm glad we don't orchestra auditions!" and katie was like, "yeah we do!" and i was like "WHAT?! are u serious?! i never got the music or a scheduled audition time in the mail!" blah blah blah... so i found out i was supposed to have picked up the music at the end of the year, but the music faculty haven't mailed me a time. so this is like one hr before my lesson, and i was running home to copy katie's music. started practising it.
- my lesson at 1 was honest to god.... SOOOO BAD. omg.. i was considering just dropping out and doing art instead. like... fuck. anyways... i survived the lesson, and left... THIS close to crying. jeremy scheduled me for another lesson on tuesday. i went home, complained to ian, ate some lunch, and went back to the practise rooms for another 2 hrs of practising.
- came home, ate dinner, and left with fran to the practise rooms once more. she had to do baccus stuff, so i told her to come find me when she was done. she was done in an hour. it went by so quick. anyways...
- monday, and tuesday consisted of either practising, eating, sleeping, or the occasional movie watching with fran shan and ian. lovely. tuesday i think i did like... 5 hours of practising in total i think. yeah... i'm hardcore. ian was telling me how i'm turning into liz. haha! not that it's a bad thing.... liz is hardcore.
- my lesson on tuesday night went much better.
- my audition today SUCKED. i was sooo nervous.
- my neck is growing a rash from the metal of my chin rest. bah.. it sucks.
- i had sex with amber today, and she scratched me! owww...
- mmmm.... bunny lovin'....

- and this point is for shannon: i talked to johnny! hahaha! ohhhh man... hilarious. i'm sure you'll get your chance...*pat pat*

anyways... im getting my internet and tv tomorrow! YIAY!

think back to a time when life was simple and love was real...

anyway, tomorrow's the big day, and i can't be happier. keep in touch everyone! remember, my number is 519-888-0121, and my cell phone number is the same. now there's no excuse for not calling... unless if you're fran, shannon, ian, or tracy. have a great term, guys... this summer's been real fun. well, i still have a week, but... that's not the point. but i gotta start doing the pre-school work now. like practising my ass off. have pretty much all my goals set... and my motivation is the little baby girl who died. study hard for her...

alright.. i gotta check on my laundry. i'll post more later... or tomorrow.

oh, voters of canada, how i love thee!
just as i predicted, theresa and jason were in the bottom two...SUCKAHS! :D!! and, and jason got voted off. about damn time, sheesshhh! next to go gots to be theresa. please please!

because we all know who the real idols are. *nod*

goddammiiiittt!!
well, apparently, i'm moving on saturday now. grrr... so pissed off... frig. this really sucks.

so i went to see that movie today. it was hilarious. an experience... which i will not disclose...

anyway... em still hasn't called. cuz i called her this morning while she was on the bus and i told her to call me when she gets there so i know her bus hasn't crashed. but she hasn't called. uh-oh. but i guess she's busy arguing her head off with her advisor. muahaha.. oooooh advisor...

***

Oh. My. God. OMG! JACOB HOGGARD! I LOVE YOU!! YOU ARE MY IDOL!!! WHOOOOOO!!!!

i just got off the phone with Em not too long ago.
going to Montreal bright and early tomorrow.
fuck.. i'm gonna miss her. i hate good byes.

i hate good byes before starting university.... again.
this really sucks.

god fuckin dammit!!

why is this still going on? i can't seem to stop thinking about it.

oh my god...
i have to go.