i wrote this looong blog this afternoon about my crappy day, and stupid blogger didn't function, and my post got erased. damn company.
well, i'll try to tell it again, but in as much detail, cuz that'll take forever. and i'd be in a bad mood again.

ok, so this morning, me and carmen were talking about chem and she said she doesn't like it when it's last period, cuz it'll make her day end bad. i told her i'd rather have it last so i won't be mad for the whole day. little did i know that i was foreshadowing my own day...
so...la dee da...we have chem. it started off bad already! we got our binders back, and i got a freakin level 2! wtf?! i spended SO much time on them, and that was all i got. i talked to Bitch (baksi, bitch, what's the difference?) and she said that it was because i didn't have my hmk and stuff. i was sooo mad!!. then she said if i showed her my hmk next day, she'll change my mark. and THEN she teaches this lesson, which i didn't really pay attention to cuz i was taking notes (on our lesson, by another class, which was probably more useful than her blabbing. probably better too) and then we had to do a lab. while we were collecting the chemicals, i took down the attendance, and when i came back my group was already working without me. so i go over, and i stand there. for freakin 10 minutes, they totally ignored me! (well, jen c, and jen yin.) i asked them twice, what are you guys doing, and they ignored me. finally, i had to go on the other side of the working bench RIGHT in front of them. still, they ignored me. after like 3 minutes, jen goes "oh, do you want to try?" i was soooo mad, i could've smacked her right there! arggg...i swear, she pisses me off SO much (jen c) with her attitude. thinks she's the best and sht.
any ways, we leave chem, and i storm out of the class (with carmen of course) and i pack and leave really quick so i can go to volunteering. i go and wait for the bus for a couple minutes, and just as a 85G pulls up, as i walk to it. it leaves! i mean, it just closed the door and left! and blew lots of sand in my face too. i was really pissed off then. i knew i was late for volunteering. the second bus came 15 minutes later. by the time i was on the bus, it was 10 to 4pm. my volunteering ends at 4. at brimley, i don't even wait for the bus, i ran all the way there. time: 6 minutes to 4. i run up the staires, only to find that the room was locked, lights off. i am still trying to catch my breath as i ask the teacher across the hall. she told me to ask office. so i did. the teacher left for volly ball game. i knew she'd be away, but wasn't there a substitute? gawd, i was sooooooo upset, i was almost in tears. all that was filling my mind was the fact that i had let the little girl (whom i tutor) down. i felt soooooo angry at myself. and then i wait outside for my mom to pick me up as she always does, but....she never came. huh. how surprising is that? i waited and waited and waited. finally, i took the bus home. i waited long for the bus, but no brimley bus, so when i started to walk to the shepppard stop instead, a brimley bus whizzes by. i KNEW that would happen. whenever im waiting, buses don't come, when i decide to walk, they come.
well, the only thing that came out of all this was all the time i got while i was waiting. i did a lot of thinking. in english, macbeth says "Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, Creeps in this petty place from day to day" meaning everyday's the same, all the same routines. what's the point of living? wake up, school, come home, eat, homeowkr, eat sleep. every single day. even the weekends are like school. art class, every week, tutoring, homework. no change. if my whole life was about school, than is there even a point? are our lives so controlled by the government and our parents, that we have no say in what we want to do with our very own lives?? i don't think that's fair at all.

i hate my brother. i don't have a brother. i have an extremely selfisjh, stubborn, rude boy living in my house. i want to run away.