omg, people still actually read this? hm.... nice.
well, i haven't written here in ages.... almost 5 months. i'm all moved out of wloo, and have been rearranging my room all day. well.... all afternoon/evening. i need another bookshelf

um... ok i'm already bored of writing. i'm gonna stop.

today has been a stressfully busy day, even though i had all of two minutes of class. it was bs, seriously. but yeah... apparently, i have too many elective credits in the same subject, music. WHAT THE HELL. i didn't know there was a limit!!! this is fawked. look, it's even making me type like a fob. ugh

BUT!!! the two good things that came out of it.... i FINALLY got into GG231! (although now im not so sure it will work towards my science credit) ANNNNNDDDDDD....

*drum roollll*

I GET TO BE IN CHOOOOIIIIIRRRR!!!!!!

omg seriously, i am soooo excited. i really really miss being in a music ensemble. even choir. and OMG they're singing Bonavist Harbour!!!!!!!! i know that's not really what it's called, but i've momentarily forgot its real title. seriously, i need to pull out my ACI recording of that, i just love that song soooo much!!! soooo excited!

okie, i'm gonna sleep now... i'm siiiiick. and i have a crapload of stuff to do tomorrow. ta-ta!

okay, my biopsych course is kinda weird.... i have a quiz already?!
fuck i haven't read anything yet. um...i'll do it sometime tonight. heh heh...

so i had kind of a shitty day today. i can't believe how small a thing will set me off. seriously. it's not healthy. but i can't help it! argh. so...

i think i need to learn anger management.

ok i need to go...meditate....... or something.

first weekend after school started.
this semester is seriously gonna suck for me, since i have ALL of ONE class right now. and to top it off, it's a distance ed. class.
whaaaaaaaat. i've had NO classes this week.
i really need a physical geography course. if anyone reading this is in GG231.....can you drop it so i can take it? i need to gradu-ma-tate ASAP.

my naval piercing is kinda fucking up. argh... i hope it's not an infection. i also hope it's not migrating. because it used to sit more on the right side, but now it sits more on the left. wtf? bah.

anyway... i'm so bored. can't wait til sunday, so i can hang out with Jan. :) good times. i also need to buy music formal tickets.

and....that is all.

hey, look here, cai lab stalker, i happen to LIKE prison break, so you can get your OWN blog and post about YOUR favourite show and leave mine alone!

heh heh...

i'm at the bus terminal in vancouver. i can't believe i'm actually getting internet right now.... crazy!

anyway... my week has been fantabulous so far, other than the shitty weather, but it's aaaalll good. i can deal with a little rain, and lots of cloud cover. haha i am anxious about getting back to seattle though. i actually really do like that place.

anyway... my bus is coming soon, so im gonna go wait outside. ta-ta

wow! i have a cai lab stalker?? that's seriously awesome. lol! whoooo aaarrreeee yoooouuu??

anywhoo, it's been a while since i've posted, exams are FINALLY over, and the partying have begun. yyyeeeaaa!! but it's been bittersweet, since a bunch of internationals are leaving in the near future, or have already left. it's been a fun 4 months. and don't worry, i'm pretty much over spanish boy. he never called, and i'm sure he's in new york now, and after that, he's goin back to spain. so... whatever. onto bigger and better things!.... or... people! yay!
i'm currently back in the borough, but i'm leaving for seattle in 3 short hours (not short enough!)
last night's christmas dinner was good times, even though there were only 5 of us. it's okay. we listed off all the people absent and came to the conclusion that were were only sad that carmen wasn't there.
but i wanted mikey to be there too. :(
we wanted to find a cafe for coffee and dessert, but WTF, all the cafes in dt were closed. what a stupid system. so lish went home, and the 4 of us (me, kamla, nique and kevin) went to ballroom (a bar in scarbro). met up with damien, elliott, and aarne (whom i haven't seen since nique had a party last time). it was fun!

anywhoo... i should start packing now. i'll try to post again soon, but....we'll see. i might be too preoccupied with prison break. what a sexy show! rawr

ta-ta!

this weekend was pretty cool. mainly hung out with familiy. sat. night, met up with paul and went to andy ahmed's bday party. it was okaaayyyy.... so weird hanging out with younger people. only people i knew there was andy, paul, chis and nigel (!!). haven't seen nigel in soooo long. we had a deep convo. it was pretty intense. im gonna be his friend/therapist. haha kidding. not therapist. just a good friend. i told paul about javier (i still don't even know if that is the spelling or if it's even his name) but anyway... we also set a date for him to fuckin FINALLY come to loo to visit me. and he said i have to introduce him to javier and see if he's an ass or not. lol i told him that he's super nice. paul's like, ye we'll see. lol. anyway... so yes... um...... i dunno what else to say.
javier is leaving on december 25. fuck. well, i suppose that is good, cuz then i can force myself to get over him. :( fuck i hope he calls me soon. i gave him my number last thursday at caesar's.

anyway.... this is a lame entry. i fel like shit. so im gonna go home and sleep.

i only posted 4 days ago?
wow, felt like a long time. finally it's thursday, and i only went to one of my classes today. stupid psych.

lately, i've taken to good ol' journal pen-to-paper writing. it's good times.

katrina has brought me back to "real life"... back to my old depressed thoughts time. my happy utopian thoughts left for a bit. it really sucks. i was so happy before this week. like... unnaturally happy. i need a boost of motivation. damn katrina, that bitch. i despise her much.

anyway... i'm working in the MOFO in 25 minutes, so im gonna go grab some food now. ta-ta.

this weekend was pretty fun. olivier cmae down. went to kbbq and the bluffs on friday night with him, nico and mikey. it was so dark though.... i wanna go again during the day sometime.
wnet shopping dt with nico olivier and fanny yesterday, good times. ....
kinda...
haha...
ditched them at 4:30, met up with airick, and got my belly button re-pierced! finally! went to this place called lower east side's. it was pretty good. the piercer was very thorough. he talked so much, and so fast. i couldn't even ask my questions! bah. and he tricked me! it was kinda funny though. it was over so frickin fast. and no bleeding! yo... last time i got it done, it bled so much. so yea... this guy is totally legit. and tihs time i got pierced with a ring instead of barbell. at first i was like....ring, huh...?? but now i like it more than the barbell. it's different. and quaint! tee hee
it still is sore now (it's only been a day anyhow).
last night... went by karen's place to give her her present. i think she liked it! it was awesome catching up with her. missed her so much. i wish we could hang out more. :)

anyway.... goin back to loo in a couple hours. bah. stupid school.

btw... HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAUL!!!!

ok i'm done!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BETHANY!!!
last night was fun. party at beth's... sex cranium... birthday wedding cake... it was fun hanging out with music people again. well... not as great as STRING parties...lol! kidding...
josh came by too! it was great seeing him again (met him at the spur last week) starlight was good times! better than last time i went with internationals. two of his friends came by, and they were super nice too. they're musicians, and i think one of them is hooking me up with thier band. exciting!!! i looooove modal music. but then they left after a bit, and josh went with them. so then i left soon after... bumped into nelson (again!) right outside starlight and went by his place to chill for a bit. things got awkward, and i got him to drive me home. yeahhh..... not cool.

anyway...all in all, it was a fun night.

now i just have to find a way to pull 7 pages of essay outta my ass.

no internet at home... sucks.
school has been going. starting to get motivation again. yiay, i suppose.
going to see skinnyphat tonight at the duke, can't wait! but i hope i don't see heidi there, bah!
yiay for life lists
where should i go on vacation this christmas?
where should i live and what should i do in january?
decisions decisions!
anyway.... that's about it.

heheh thanks BilyBilly :)

the past two days have actually been better.. went to the Duke last night with Klaus to listen to Chalkline. I miss JohnnyB. he got my number so we could hang out :) then we went over to the Rude (even tho i'm banned, but whatever!) and hung out with Shaughn and the closing bartender girl. it was good talking to him, and not txting. lol i asked him what happened last time with him and Nate, and he told me he was just messing around on Nate's phone. and the message i got when he told me to stop calling him (that one got me PISSSED OFF) was actually his wife! :O!! i knowww.... apparently, she stole his phone while he was sleeping and i guess she saw the messages and txted me. *tug at collar*
haha now Shaughn knows to delete the messages...haha.. oh well.

then he drove me and Klaus home. it was a fun night, it's been a while since i went out and actually had fun.

i'm supposed to be studying right now, but.... meh... i'm in the CAI lab.... just listening to music. and waiting for Fanny (my roommate) to finish work so we can walk home together.

anyway...nothing much else to post. ta-ta

What I did Yesterday:
-woke up, and showered
-met up with horn girls
-went to Cynthia's funeral
-cried
-back home, watched a movie on the couch
-thought about life and friends
-cried some more
-thought some more
-Rude Native to pick up my cheque
-went to wilf's with Johanna and a bunch of internationals
-listened to Craiggers
-went home, cried, eventually fell asleep

What I did Today:
-woke up, and showered
-went to my one class
-home, and got ready to take grad pics
-went to take grad pics
-MSNed in the concourse
-home, read the newspaper, and cried
-thought about life and friends
-cried
-moped around
-cried some more
-painted
-thought about life, friends, family, people from my past
-and now i'm back in the concourse.

**

i fuckin did nothing productive the last two days. and i keep forgetting appointments and things i need to do. god fucking dammit. i have 5 weeks of school left, i can't believe i'm slacking so much. i should be working, but i seriously can't concentrate, or do anything.

oh, by the way.... i got banned from the fucking Rude Native. what. the. fuck.

2 yrs today that Aaron passed away. still thinking of him.

who the hell still reads this thing anyway?
well... whoever you are..... much love.
anyway.... i don't have anything else to say.

halloween was kinda shit, other than the fact that i got to dress up. me and aurora just went to diff. places incl. dan haid's place. crazy. yay music parties, but not really becuz i barely hang out with any of them any more. stopped by the Rude. saw nate shaughn rachel rory (!) cam and coryyy(!!) well i guess shaughn and nate and i are okay now. i don't know? whatever, i don't really care.

went to starlight for a bit...12$ cover! wtf. well, aurora paid for me, so that's ok.. went back to dan's place and there was a styrofoam fight. bah. anyway.... aurora got uber drunk and it was not fun getting home because she kept going on about nick storring. ugh. anyway... that's about it. i want candy.

geog. lab today was actually not so bad. i learneded. :) i can now watch the weather channel and understand what they're talking about!

oh... on sat. when kat and aurora got home from the choir concert, kat told me that cynthia...died.?
wtf?
i'm pretty sure it's the cynthia i know. johnson? french horn? boyfriend who works at long and mcquade?
fuck.
can't believe it.
why do friends die around this time of year?

2 more days til 2 yrs since Aaron died. damn... it's been two yrs already.... feels like last month. *sniff*

i wanna go to Cynth's funeral. shit... i need to get in touch w/ Brandon (her bf).... and maybe delete her off my MSN list? hm... and also, i guess i can't return her book to her anymore. shiat.

makes me think of how quickly and easily people, esp. friends can go. honestly... i remember it wasn't too long ago i saw her online. and maybe a month ago last time i talked to her about school in Nipissing. anyone of us could be next. goddammit, thinking. i am sad. comfort me?

alright, i'm outtie.

***

edit: ok so it is the Cynthia i know. just went to L&M to see if brandon was working. he wasn't. i just left a message with someone who worked there. called Beth to see if she was gonna go tomorrow, but she's not home, so i left a message as well. so we'll see. hard not to cry on the bus, because reality sunk in.

-no love for shaughn and nate for what happened last week with the txt messages

-yay i'm passing cognitive psych!

-boo i'm failing learning psych

-back in scarbro til... uh, tomorrow .... halloween parties!!! i wanna go club-hopping... gotta see if aurora is up for that

-got a new red corset top at le chateau! will work for my costume (fairy!) and will also look nice for Christmas!

-me + my brother = not friends

-more later!