just when you think life is going your way, it let's you down again. (the Omid stuff doesn't count. those are miniscule compared to this)
i won't blog about it, cuz those are for my therapy, which i desperately need. (and not physical therapy either. real mental therapy) and besides, it's too complicated for y'all to understand. and if i think about it enough, i'm sure tonight will be another crying-myself-to-sleep night. whoopee.
well that's it really.

i never thought Omid would annoy me as much as he did today. holy shit...well, it all started at lunch, when i went in the caf to talk to Shawn about our shopping trip for Yvonne's b-day present that we planned for like a week! and Omid just started cutting in, saying how he was the one who thought up the "sharing the present" part, and he should go and get the present, and his parents had to take him shoe shopping the same day, and blah blah blah...well then he and i just started yelling at each other cuz, ok, shawn and i thought up the whole shopping trip, and now he's like, oh " i'll go get the present. i'm going Fairview with my parents anyway. i'm her friend so i feel like i should be responsible"
ok, i'm her friend too!! what the hell?! that REALLY got me mad. and then we kept yelling at each other, and then at one point i'm just like, "okay i'm really mad now, so i'm going to leave." and i left. eventually, Shawn came out and talked to me, and i told him i don't even want Omid to go now, cuz, like that friend comment was really mean. who does he think he is? the ultimate friend and present buyer? and then eventually Omid came out, and we started another argument, in which i kinda teared up cuz i was so angry. well then we finally agreed that he would come with us and get it. and so we went after school, and he apologized to me, but he was like "although i didn't think i did anything wrong"
so then we were at stc, and i kinda talked to him, but not really, and at one point he was like "are u still mad at me?" and i'm like "yeah!" (no point in lying)
but then...yeah. we got the sweater, and guess who paid for it? yup, me. i swear, Omid wouldn't be able to get her the present anyway, if i weren't there. so that was another thing i was mad at. (sorry i get mad easily, once i start)
so yeah...now i'm still mad at him. that bastard. and then he was like "oh i can't take it home, cuz then my parents will know i was at the mall." and since i couldn't take it either, shawn had to.

on a happier note, our photo thing today was pretty fun. and i had LOTS of fun with the mistletoe! hahaha! mikey didn't believe kamla kissed me, and then i got mikey to kiss me. hahah and he did, and i'm like, "i'm never washing my face again!" and then he got all creeped out and stuff. but then, to annoy me, he was like "oh, u missed another chance to see me naked! (he knows i really wanna see him naked. LOL carmen and kate got to! i didn't! no fair!) i was changing in my English monologue. my teacher taped it" i was like "What?! nooooooo!!!" grrr...and then Sarah was like "Do u like mikey?" and i'm like "nooo...but i still wanna mess with him. lol" and she got creeped out. hee hee...i'm good at creeping ppl out.
hahah i think i should stop messing around with him...makes people wonder things...heh heh....but it's so fun!

anyways, i'm finally going to move my locker beside sarah's. yaayyy! no more fobs near my locker! (sorry, i had to say that...they annoy me) it'll be closer to physics, which is good, cuz i always have to rush to class. and i'll be REALLY close to art. oh my gawd! i just remembered...that bitchy girl will be near my locker then....ugh. i hate her.
she's sooo, like, in your face.
i'm in strings, and she'd like, stare at me while i'm playing a scale or a song or somethin (cuz i'm good...heheh jk!), and then she'll play the exact same thing when i stop playing. and then, when me and kat, and albert and james are in the music council room, she'll look in and walk around, and look in again. yeah...and she's in my calc class, and once, when adam was explaining how to get the tangent line with an exterior point, she just walked towards us and started looking at us and listening intently. holy...that was freaky. and then she would go back to her desk, look at her textbook, and stare at us again. *shiver*

so...yeah...she's a weird one. and she shows off a lot.

anyways, ummm...i have nothing else to say. i have to go in the weight training class tomorrow and talk to them about christmas cheer. i don't really don't to. what'll i say? argg....
well, signing out now. gotta do some work.

stupid math. gawd, i hate math. argg...STUPID LEIBNIZ!!! what'd he go around inventing calculus for?!
that's why i'm blogging again, u see. i just couldn't take it anymore.
why am i so dumb? i don't get anything!! arggg...why couldn't i be...say...Maryam/Chippy( still got pute in me)? hahah right. anyways...(hey, Mar, do u still read my blog at all?)
yutat offered to help me, but i doubt he will, cuz he's always inside with all the guys. and he's never serious around me. and he's always dissing me. and harry potter. it's annoying.

anyhoo-dilly...i don't have anything good to say now. so i'm not gonna say anything at all. here, at least...

i really like the final movement of Scenes from the Louvre. especially the trumpets when they play thier 7 16th notes. (gotta love the repitition!) but i suck on chimes, so whoever's going to the Christmas concert, plz don't laugh at me. well, i'm improving, so...yeah. and for this one song, C'est Noel, i'm taking over 4 instruments at the same time! well, not the same time, but, in the whole piece. crazyness!
well, i am in the Crazies...hee hee
and not to mention Vicious Calendars...so i'll be viciously crazy! yeah baby!!

anyways, kamla, margaret and i went to stc during lunch and last period. gues who was the skipper? (not me!) anyways, it was fun fun fun! i got ppl presents (i changed my mind about not getting school people stuff, cuz i felt really bad after carmen asked what i wanted) so..yay for presents!
OMG, when i was at Music World, i saw the Josh Groban Cd/DVD, so now i actually have something i want! *hint hint*
just kidding!!
Anyways, yeah...Josh Groban rocks! but it's so expensive, i'll probably end up getting it for myself. heheh meh well!
so then we went to the dollar store, and i had to get mistletoe for our class' Christmas cheer photos, and i was like "kamla, i've got mistletoe! kiss me!" and she kissed me. hahaha but just on the cheeks, cuz.....YOUUUUU KNOW!! hahahaha!! so then we paid and then we went back to school. poo school. kamla went home, cuz she's lucky. =) stupid variety show....grrrr...but then we saw jennifer (the gr.11 girl) on the RT so that was cool...

and the ONE thing i really wanted to get carmen, they had none left. arggg!! stupid mall people...

well i just found out this afternoon that tomorrow's early dismissal. no wonder shawn was like "let's go shopping on wednesday!" heheh so cute! so i might go tomorrow...i was almost going to get kamla's present today, but then i was like, i can't, cuz ur with me right now! that'll ruin the surprise! so...yeah.

i still have to write all my cards. i don't think i have enough. bahah my list keeps on getting longer each year! hmmm....ok i think i'm gonna go write cards now. yay for cards!

well in band today, Donald Coakley came again. i thought he was more cheerful than last time. Laura (this girl in my section) told me that the first time Coakley came, his wife just died and he was in a terrible mood, yelling and everything.
but anyways! what i was gonna say was that, i've noticed that Coakley is a miracle worker for our trumpet section. like, last time, after about 15 minutes on working with the trumpets, i was like, "whoa! i never knew the trumpets can actually do that! i'm impressed!" and today, the trumpets were once again, playing very well. and like last time, once Coakley left, they all started sounding bad again. hahaha
well, okay, sorry, that was mean.
trumpets are actually very hard to play well. seriously. i've tried it, and after 3 minutes, my ambusher, or...ombusher (i don't know how to spell it) was really tired. and...yeah.
our concert is tuesday! bah! so fast...

and i have a crisis. well, two crisi. (HAHAHA crisi!! get it? cello, celli...crisis, crisi? HAHAHA! anyway...no one gets my jokes...) okay, the first one, i reeeaalllly wanna quit choir. omg, it's soooo boring. (carm, jordan and nique y'all understand...) and i was telling paulanne this, and she's like, "omg i know!!" cuz i told her about the Virgin Mary song i hate soooooo much. anyways, so i'm considering it.
and my second crisis, i dunno if i should audition to play for the Black Tie dinner thingy. see, i want to play in it, cuz i think it's good performing opportunity, but the problem is, i actually don't want to go to the dinner. i'll be wastin a perfectly good friday evening doing a ton of nothingness! and i don't feel like dressing up just yet.
so...if anyone reading this has any opinions, plz tell me!

ok well, that's really all that's happened today. i got my Josh Groban cd back, and i failed my calculus test. and when i tried asking ppl if they could help me with the problems i didn't understand, no one could, cuz they didn't know either. Aquila was like, "who gave this test?! it's so hard! how're u supposed to do this?!" hahahaha so cute. bahahah omg! and i was waiting for band to start, and i was sitting on the benches with jon yu, cuz he was doing homework, and mr. zupo comes by, and he's like "are u....and u..." and he makes this face as if asking whether we were going out. hahah and we're both like, "no!" that was pretty funny....then he left, and jon was like, "yeah, cuz u forgot about me when u went to C.D.F." and i was like "yeah...and when i came back i didn't know who u were." lol funnyness...
(ok i guess that wasn't all that happened today...)
ummm...what else? i didn't see carmen aaalll day! and i actually had to tell her something. at lunch, me, mike, sarah, and kamla were having a great time messing with mike....err...mike's hair! LOL! he looks cute in pigtails, and me and sarah had a great time making mike's hair go up like a fountain, and pinning it with sarah's gold clip thing. omg...hilariousness! i wish i had my camera! and then when we took it off, his hair was still in it's place, and it was flying everywhere! ohhh man...lost a couple calories from laughing!

bah...i need to finish my Christmas shopping. i think Shawn and i are going on either wednesday or friday...cuz we have to get ******'s birthday present. heheh i hope she won't read this...heheh yea, and i was thinking, wow, i'm glad i got shawn's present already or else i won't ever be able to, since he might come shopping with me. whew!
aaaaaanyways, ok i should start my homework...tee hee blog more latah!

well guess what? i saw HP again today. oh yeah...gotta love Dan! oh wait...Sean Biggerstaff!! yummm...that was definately my favourite part. yep, i went with good ol' Matt, since Carmen was "sick" (hahah) and had lots of homework. hmph, not sick enough for shopping, huh? just kidding...
anyways, so yeah i had the car so i was driving along...i got lost a couple times, cuz we all know how bad i am with directions. but i'm learning, so no laughing at me. anyways, it was really fun, even tho we didn't talk TOO much, but hey, when there's HP, u don't need to talk. hehehe anyways, after the movie, i got a mag with Orlando Bloom on the front. yummm...hehehe!! anyways, then i called carmen's cell, but she wasn't there, and had a funny song on her answering machine. it was the oh mandy, you came and u found me a turkey in schoolie song. ok the words aren't perfect, but mike wrote it for me, so...yay for mikey!
aaaanyways, she was at home, so then we drove to her house, and then we went to STC to get Christmas presents, and...well, just presents. hahaha i got the Varekai soundtrack, which i'm listening to right now. it's good...brings back memories of Montreal. i wanna go back to Montreal this year! but Mr. Lum was like, "no we're not going to Montreal" grrr...and Dralion is going to Montreal in May! argggg....i wanna go to Montreal!!!
anyways, after stc, i drove them home, and i watched Life's Little Miracles, and i thought of my pacemaker operation i'll have to do soon, and that was pretty emotional...
and then i looked at the Legolas magazine and i giggled at how pretty he was. hahahaha! and now i'm blogging, and talking to matt and carmen on icq. whoopee...

omg, i was talking to Joanne this morning (she's a cousin of mine who lives in seattle, but is in a exchange program in china with her university) and apparently, she's in Hong Kong right now, skipping class. hahaha but she was telling me how she's doing this honours paper thingy, and i'm like "joanne the honour student!" and then she was like "yeah right. whatever. i'll never compare to Audrey" (the cousin with the baby) but then, i suppose no one really can compare to her, cuz i mean, Stanford! holy shit...
anyway...yeah.

ok i don't have anything else to say, other than the Varekai cd is really good, but Icariens isn't on it, and that is my favourite song. it's the song that goes with the Icarian Games, the one where the hot twins are in. *grin*
anyways, i really have nothing else to say, so ta-ta!

well i wasn't going to blog today, but i have absitively posolutely nothing to do. so...here goes.
i went to art this morning. yay. my teacher came back from her little vacation, and i had to haul the box of oranges for her. but then she cut one up and i had some, and damn, they are some yummy oranges!! i'm done all the background colour of my latest painting. it's a close up of a rose. but this is just a "practice" painting, cuz when i finish this i'm gonna do another one, but WAY bigger, and much prettier (hopefully), and i'm going to give it to Sick Kids, cuz they cared for me ever since i came here (Canada, which was when i was like, 3). and since i'm on the topic of Sick Kids, i really don't wanna leave. i've got less than a year! i know..they only take people up to 18, but there are exceptions for everything, right? maybe, just maybe i can stay til i'm 20. but i know they're not gonna keep me, no matter how much they love me. *sigh* oh well.
anyway, after art class, i drove home and ate and moped around til math class, then i drove me and my brother to math, and after math, we went to L'Amoreaux HS cuz my brother wanted to ask about their swimming schedule. and then we went home. and then i read a little, talked to Carmen, and now i'm blogging.
yeah,Carmen won't be able to see the movie with us tomorrow cuz she's sick and she's got tons of homework. but we're probably going Christmas shopping afterwards. yay. i need to do my christmas shopping otherwise i will have no other time to do it. omg, i hope the Varekai cd won't be like, 35$, cuz i know Cirque du Soleil cds are really expensive. but then i guess it's okay for shawn. i was going to give him like 30 bucks anyway for taping my shows.

well, i'm freezing right now and i don't know why. i checked the temperture in the house, and it's normal, so...i dunno. but i have bad circulation, so maybe that's why.
i need to finish my univ. application soon. i still dunno what else to apply for. i've got down Laurier and Windsor for sure, and Ryerson for the new Arts and Contemporary studies, but i might change that. i've already changed it twice. i WAS gonna take the Co-op arts and something else thing at Waterloo, but i've decided not to cuz it requires pretty high marks. i think my average is about mid 70. i'll never make it. esp with math and english so low. stupid smart people...esp andy. arggg...

ok well my hands are freezing and i can't type anymore. so ta for now!

u know i'm bored when i post more than once a day.
anyway, i just read Matt's version of blog, and holy shit, i never knew about what happened on that "cutting" day. this is kinda freaky. just like in gr.9 when Lorrie was telling me how she's in the 18 Buddist thing. why oh why does all my friends have to be so vicious?
anyways...yeah...umm...
ok i'm signing off. gotta go do something.

i am very tempted to write something in here that is...well, let's just say, very not me. and being the calm and un-explosive person that i am, i'm not going to write about it. but i am really really angry, so...i need to calm down. *sigh*

ok the christmas variety show thing went okay. i had to wait forever (until like, 5:25) but luckily matt kept me company. yaaayyyy!! um...yeah. the actual playing wasn't too bad. but it's wasn't GOOD. whatever....i just remember i have violin lessons tonight. i have this new teacher, and i'm not used to going on fridays. so now i'm going to eat.

*note to self* call carmen

ok sorry about the last post, but i accidenetly posted it on the crazies...oopsie daisy.
whatever.

Land of tomorrowwww
Your time has cooooome!!

oh my gawwwwddddd...
i just got home. home sweet home, and computer.

ok so a recap from what happened this evening:
after school i headed for choir but then i saw matt and he was bummed out so i sat with him a bit, then i had to go cuz i was kinda late. (well not really. everyone was just talking and stuff) anyways, i told him if he stayed we can go to dinner afterwards, but he left. and after orchestra, i was by my lonely little self, cuz paulanne went home to get her uniform, and jordan and nique and carmen and rachel thought i was at home, and so they were calling my house. lol sillies...
anyway, so i hung out with mr. pinhorn and mr. lum in the music office and ate pizza until paulanne came back at around 6:00. and then we went to Midtown so she can get her dinner, and i got bubble tea and a lemon tea for lum. then we came back and we changed in the music council room (no one saw us). and then we had the concert...la dee da. i don't wanna repeat the concert cuz basically, it was CRAP. but paulanne and i had some pretty cool convos in that music council office. and mr. lum almost came in when i was changing the second time. ew disgusting. so then after the concert, me, carmen, jordan, nique, and rachel drove to country style and hung out there a bit, talking about the memories of meeting each other, and the kevin/me/rachel story, which was pretty funny now that there's nothing between me and kevin. and then we drove nique home. we were gonna drop rachel off next but her neighbourhood was so fuckin nice that we drove around for a bit, going in circles and carmen squishing me cuz her seatbelt wasn't on, and oohhhhh myyy gawwwddd rachel's house is sooooo pretty!! damn the rich kids...heheh just kidding. well, at least she's not like the snobby rich type. so yea...so we had to go in a take a look, and the inside was really really nice, and omg, her backyard was like something from a magazine! so...yeah, we stayed there pretty long, looking at photos and listening to Charlotte Church. and then about 9:30 we were about to leave, but then mrs. walker came by and we stood there talking for another like, 20 minutes. lol but we eventually left. and now here i am blogging. doo doo doo...
oh yea, in the car, we were talking about the hp movie on sunday, and we were like, ok, in the afternoon, around 2-ish, since carmen will probably go to church and i have to eat with my family. sooo yeah. and we'll probably go to Morningside cuz it's cheaper, and i have to save my money for Christmas presents and stuff. so...yeah. jordan said if we were going between 6-10, he would probably be able to get us in for free at AMC, but we're going in the afternoon, so...too bad!
anywho-dilly...yeah, omg May is SUCH a little biatch. grrr...she has these attitude problems, and she is the worst piano player ever!
ok...maybe not the WORST, but considering her position and everything, i expect her to actually do a decent job! i don't play piano, and i can probably play better than she was tonight. honestly! *sigh*
aaanyways, now i'm in a bad mood, talking about her. i was so giddy and crazy...*thinking about what to write*
oh! i finished my grad comment last night! i like it, but it's not thaaaaaaaat original. ah whatever. it's got a rhyme in it though! heheh.
okay this post is really long so i'm gonna stop typing.
nighty night!

p.s. mikey looks adorable in pigtails!!

this limit thing is getting to me. i haaaaaaate limits! stupid limits...grrr....
i wanna sleep! and read HP! (i'm reading the 4th book again...i think this is the 5th time or somethin)
*SIGH*

Jordan and Carmen- POST DAMMIT!!!! *smiles innocently* love ya!

mmm...chocolate.
Carmen finally gave me the yummy swiss choclate from Switzerland! whoop dee do! and then after school, she and jordan were like, can i have some of your chocolate? hahah but i didn't open it yet, so they were like "meh, it's okay then" so then they left for madrigals. aaaaanyways.
i think i'm gonna tell u about my first spare today, because it was really weird. okay. so i'm sitting on the benches doing, or trying to do, my english homework, and there's all these ppl near the SAC office, but i was tuning them out.
ANYway, so yea, i'm doing my work, and suddenly Tuan comes and sits down next to me and starts talking. so then we're kinda talking and stuff, and he's like u know my name? and i'm like, yea Tuan right? and he's all surprised and stuff. and then he's like, and i bet u know my last name too. and i'm like, yep! i didn't get all my work done after all.
and that's my story.

second spare was so much better. nirusha and i were talking about this guy she likes ( i'm not gonna post who it is, because i know she'll kill me if i do) and...well, basically, guys in general. and raymond and karen were eavesdropping. but then they're like "u were talking so loud everyone could hear you!" hahah oh well. i dun care. and i made this little name thingy for matt. with flourescent orange pen. last year, when i did mike's and jordan's and rachel's, i thought it looked better. i like the red pen. it makes the name look more intricate. heheh especially jordan's red pen! =)

*SIGH* guess what? i bet the Netherland dude is on the ship already (Nique, u know what i'm talking about. i miss him!) oh well. nothing else to post. so ta!!

a couple minutes ago i had the Capriccio Italien song in my head. now i have The Prayer.
Let this be oooour prayer
As we go our waaayyyy.
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
To a place where we'll be saaaafe.

La luce che tu dai...

ok that's enough. i don't know how to spell the Italian words. well i could go down and get my music score, but...meh. it's aaall the way downstaires. heheheheh

speaking of music, holy heart, i played sooooooo bad! jeff kao was there, and he was like "that's nice!" and i'm like "no, it's terrible! if u don't believe me, ask christine." and christine's like "yeah that was pretty bad." *SIGH*
ah well...

aaaaanyways, oh! oh! oranges and grapefruit came! well, it came yesterday but oh well. omg we were unloading the boxes out, and i only unloaded for like 20 minutes and my arm was killing me! there were more than 600 boxes!! poor adam and eugene and all those other people who had to unload since 3:30...adam told me that his arm was STILL hurting today. bahaha sucker.
but now the hallway smells very citrus-y. mmm...even though the strings room is almost like a refrigerator. oh well.

aaanyways. ok i have nothing else to say. i need to do my english homework.
and i wanna talk to the Netherland duuuuuude!!!!!!

wow i feel like i haven't blogged in a long time.
*checks date*
ok, it is a long time.
anyways...getting my grad pic done tomorrow. yayyyy anna lent me her curling iron today, so i get to curl my hair. i just tried it a while ago, to see what it looks like and to see if it's actually decent. it is. and besides, when am i ever going to curl my hair again? probably not in a loooong time.

nique's play on saturday was awwwwwwesome!! hehehe!! my favourite ones were, of course nique's, and kevin's. omg..soooo funny! and well i forgot they had a cast party afterwards, or i'd totally go! even though i'd probably get bored...but anyways! omg, kevin told me today some VERY disturbing news regarding rachel and jackie, but i won't post them here. heheh i was like "what?! rachel? are u serious?!" yeah...well me and nique and rachel were talking about it during band, and yeah...it was like...okay, rachel, get away from me...

on a cheerier note, Donald Coakley came and conducted us in band today! it was pretty tedious, cuz he kept stopping and everything. it took us like, half an hour just to get through the first page! but i have to admit, it sounded amazing! i never knew our trumpet section could play so well! and i was working pretty damn hard myself! heh heh...omg, my hands were killing me afterwards! (stupid cymbals...) and phil did a pretty nice job with the suspended cymblas himself! =) yaaayyy

ok i have like, nothing to post now.
excited about missing physics tomorrow! (even if it is only for a little while...) *smile*