yiay i have a hot costume! all i need now is to spray paint my wings, and i'm good to go. :D

anyway... ryan hasn't called back, and i don't feel like going out in the rain again... so i think i'm gonna be a loser tonight and stay in and do my theory assignment. haha. i'm such a nurd.

justin needs to give me something still........

***

wow, jon actually called me tonight, from the bar he was at. that was quite unexpected... but i'm glad he did. :)

i don't want to sound conceited or anything, but my painting is actually looking pretty damn cool. i guess it's becuz i've been looking at the waaayyy unfinished version for like, over a month, that any change is a big change. and just in the last two days, today and last night, i've worked on it for pretty much 7 hours, and a LOT of change has taken place. :D sorry, i'm just feeling really great about it. i don't think i've ever done a piece like this, besides the rose back in gr.12, where i get to make AAALLLL the rules, and the result is pretty decent. i admit, this one right now doesn't look tooo much like what i originally had in mind, but meh, i'm in a different mood everytime i'm at the easle, so... yeah!

anyways... my room's filled with the smell of paint and turpentine. mm.. yummy.
***

okay i took my pics out.. dammit, they didn't work. oh well.

omg, tomorrow... TGIF. seriously. i never say that. but i'm saying it now. TGI fuckin F, yo.

i don't think i'll be talking to jon all weekend. which is pretty sad... goddammit.

what i'm missing on friday when i'm partying with ryan:

LAURA-ANNE AND DAMIEN'S SEANCE! AHHHHHHHHH!!! crap.. i wanna participate in a frickin seance... but i don't really feel like bussing all the way back to toronto.. and besides, i wanna hang out with ryan anyways. haven't seen him since.... sarah lawton's party. muahaaha. but still. i'll tell laura-anne to hold another one soon.

talked to jon... told him about the one month thing.. apparently, he knows and that got me even more pissed off... cuz he knows and still does nothing about it. i hate guys like that. haha funny story: i told emilia about it and she's like "go fuck jon and then fuck ______ then see who's better." haha oh man.. hilarious. well... whatever. we'll see what happens.

painted for 4 hours tonight. it was so great. i love painting. it's such a stress reliever for me. i need to relieve some stress. hahaha i love how fran thought i was deep cuz i was telling her the colours for my butterfly. lol... it made me laugh... cuz i know i am. :D yiay for me! it (the painting) is actually coming along pretty nicely. im pretty happy with the progress. it still needs more work, of course... but all in due time. i missed the smell of turpentine. ahhhh.... but now my whole room smells like turpentine and paint. bleugh...

speaking of painting.... WLU is apparently cancelling the Fine Arts program. omg!! even tho i'm not in fine arts,it's still a tragedy! oh man... i LOVE art... dammn.. now i won't be able to quit music and do art at Laurier... not that i want to, but.... just in case.

and just for the record, i barely did any work this week so far. i'm still pooped from studying for the psych exam. and i failed skills. go skills. fuckin Vandenberg...
omg.. haha... today in theory, we started talking about McKittrick, cuz i had to ask my teacher about something... and then i called mckittrick "mckittrick" to my teacher... and then i was like "err... i mean.... MR. McKittrick..." and then my teacher was like "no, it's jimmy." and then i was like "what? no it's not! his name is cam! but i call him mckittrick.." and then my teacher laughed. hahaha... (shut up, fran... there WAS a point to that story)

anyways.. yeah.. i gotta start homework now.

RyRy's coming to loo on friday!! omg... i'm so excited. par-tay! we must drink together. :D oohhh man.. i can't wait! eeeee so excited!

i think i'm going to delay my going to Guelph til saturday. muhahaha.. i'll be there for le party chez carmen and nique's though. omg.. 3 parties for each night of the weekend... oh man... it's gonna be great!

4 hours sleep last night. bleugh so tired...

um... i was gonna post something... but i forgot what.
dammit.
it's almost november 1st. damn...
umm...
wow, so apparenty, more people read this shit more than i know. how weird is that? people are actually interested about my life. ha. i'm such a loser. (i can see paul nodding enthusiastically)

so i guess warren reads my blog now. haha hi warren! yes i wrote about u, don't u feel special? ha.

anyways... ummmm.... fuck, i went to visit some history today. and november 15 is coming up pretty fast. one year, eh.
i mean.... not that it really fuckin matters. just a little reminder... as to not lose myself in the bustle of the busy life of a university student.(sarcastic laugh)

ahh.. i'm feeling like such a bitch right now. i think i have mood swings.

where the hell is justin when i actually have to talk to him?
and where is jon?
my head hurts. so does my throat. and so does my heart.

i'm so allergic to my house... seriously. bleugh

went to Malabar yesterday, this really nice costume store dt, but i couldn't find what i needed so...meh. stc didn't have my size for corsets either, it was disappointing. i was even willing to pay 50$ for it. but then i talked to suvina, and she gave me the idea to find one on ebay, and she actually found them for me, and now i'm bidding. oh man... this one she found, it's soooo nice. :D

anyway. i went out with frances and paul yesterday. fun! barcode's not that bad, but... meh. i know better places. when i dropped frances off, we chilled a bit and then she told me some shocking news... i was like "um.. WHAT?! what..i-i'm.. confused...what?!" anyway... i called eric when i got home and asked him about it becuz frances said he might know about it, but he wasn't even sure if it was real or not.... and then we ended up talking on the phone for like, prety much 3 hours. haha! it was awesome.. we haven't really talked like that in a while, so it was nice.

oh! and i made my flower crown! it's puuurrdy! :D
anywho..um... i'll post more later.

HI SHAN! HI FRAN! you just came upstaires, and now im gonna blog.

so me fran and shannon just "bonded" tonight. it was quite the chat, i must say. a lot of topics were covered. and i told them about my freak incident. NOT COOL. that's all i have to say. um... and shannon's still in denial. muahaha

hmm... so carmen and i were talking and she invited to me guelph next weekend for her halloween party... i wanna gooo but i really need a costume. um, i need black wings and a flower crown. carm suggested that we make it, but i have no time to, so... i dunno. and i still have to go to kat's par-tay. so...we'll see. i dunno if i can do two parties in one weekend.

omg... im sooo glad it's the weekend. this week has FINALLY come to an end. ooooh my gaaawwwdd.. i remember shannon was saying how she hasn't seen me in like, a week. haha! aww... well, i was pretty much either in class or in the library. ahhh.. heheh.

anyways...to sum up, tonight was depressing. i love you frances. hold your head up... you'll make it through. :)

whoo i did my psych exam. what a relief. but i wouldn't be surprised if i failed. oh whatever. i really don't care about it. almost fell asleep within the first 15 minutes. whoops.

first rehersal for Evan's orchestra today- it went really well! except guess who i'm sitting with? argghh... and Ni's in it too... gawd.. she pisses me off.

no one's home. this really sucks. and i can't even hang out with Warren either, cuz he's at home in Toronto. boooourns. i still have Amber.. :) maybe i'll go pick a movie and watch it. or maybe i'll call Jon... haven't talked to him in a while...

just got home from a nice long walk and talk with warren.
i know i don't have a lot of real friends in waterloo, but honest to god, the ones i have are such precious gems. i'm soooo grateful to warren, honestly. he's the bestestest. we had a really nice talk. he better treat amy right... or else. don't fuck around this time... and your "tendencies"... haha. i'm happy for him though. amy's an awesome person. :D told him about.... my incident. it was so horrible. he thinks _______ is a bastard now too. good, cuz he is. anyway.. then we went to macdonnel village cuz i was hungry and pizza was closed. mmmm... chicken fingers... haha.

anyway.. so yeah, it was a good night. :) and no skills tomorrow! yiay. but psych exam is tomorrow. shit fuck i'm so screwed for that.
meh...

oh my gawd...
can't believe what the hell i just did.
fuccckkk... it was sooooo not cool, so not worth it, and i feel guilty as hell.

ok someone please just give me a good slap across the face next time i go out late for no apparent reason.

whoo... break time from friggin studying...

so,

1. theory exam went really well... didn't get it back yet.

2. some bad phone calls with boy... been thinking a lot about... stuff. what ian said.

3. i think i flunked the skills exam. really.

4. too much psych... the library has conditioned me to be tired. seriously... just going in the library... argh. tihs means i'm spending too much time there.

5. brain cramps from too much reading....

6. orchestra fuckin SUCKED today... my respect for paul flew out the window today. excuses for not wanting me to play the fuckin Bartok. fuck...

7. two hours wasted

8. ok, so according to The Cord, that i read today, Ryan Driscoll's in the hospital! wow.. but honestly, i'm not really that surprised, he is the kind of guy who would get into fights too. but still... wow.. i lived with Ryan last year... he was one unit below me. no offense, but he was an asshole sometimes. anyway...

ok i'm done posting.

wow... i am SO tired and out of it right now. i have an exam at 12:30. fuuuuuck.

so last night we went out to huther's cuz it's tradition to go to huther's after an orchestra performance. some points:

- pool with andres and caitlan fun!
- interesting discussions with kat
- grasshopper martini in a regular cup...huh?!
- i kicked dan's arse! lol....he's hilarious
- thanks for the smoke, eric, kat, mike z, and justin
- ian bought me a tequila shot
- dan bought me a zambouka...or however its spelled. we did it together. he wanted me drunk. ha! it was smooth, but i hate black licroice
- ian and i got home at 2... justin was supposed to come over, but i called him and he was eating... said wait half an hour... but never showed up, that bastard.
- ian fell asleep on the couch
- i went to bed at 4. fuckers.. i didn't want justin to walk in our door and find both ian and me sleeping. but he never showed up.

- skills this morning was fucking BRUTAL, omg. i'm gonna explode at justin if i see him today... fuck...

***

so dissapointed..... so fucking disappointed. thank YOU so much for making my night so fucking great.... or did you not get that either?

i stole tihs from Margo's xanga cuz i'm bored....

Firsts:

Pet: my turtles

Drink: Carmen gave me Jamaican rum and coke, at Nique's b-day party a couple of years ago

Friend: believe it or not.. my first best friend was De-Ying

Funeral: some person i didn't know

Boyfriend: ...Kevin?

Kiss: muahaha Matty

Breakup: Kevin

Wedding: i don't really remember any before my cousin Ken's...

Move: in 1988 when i became an immigrant (a FOP!)

School: White Haven

Teacher: i dunno... some woman in hong kong i have no recollection of. it was preschool

Job: my dad's office

Smoke: in May, 2004





Lasts:

Pet: Amber, my dwarf bunny

Drink: a tequila shot last night at guelph for Jordan's 19th birthday!

Funeral: my uncle's.... last saturday.

Boyfriend: Jonathan

Kiss: Jon... in toronto (damn school... exams...)

Breakup: Matty

Wedding: my cousin Henry's, in September

Move: late august, when i moved into my house in waterloo

School: WLU

Teacher: i just had orchestra... Paul Pulford.. yiay! i'm getting drunk with Paul tomorrow at Huther's! i love drinking with my teachers!

Job: my dad's office

Smoke: Carmen's birthday... last sunday

what? it's saturday? are u sure?

went to guelph last night, chilled with jordan, kevin and jordan's RA friends. they're sooo much fun! pre-drank (everyone but me and kevin)in the boardroom, matt's hilarious laugh (omg.. i thought i was gonna die, it was sooooo funny!) and ..jamie (apparently, he hasn't come out yet) was awesome to be with. he's so much fun!! and.. krystal, jordan's beeyotch,um... and some other people. haha. then we went to this classy bar called e-bar, and it was actually really nice there. met tim, this HOT HOT bi dude. omg.. he is sooo much fun to be with, i swear. haha! kevin got me this drink called the melonade. haha it was good. then i had a grasshopper. mmm... mint chocolate chip... SO GOOD! SOOOOO GOOD!! so good? SOOOOO GOOOOOD!!! lol (wait, what are we "so good"ing about? LOL) jokes jokes! we danced, CARMEN AND NIQUE AND ELLIOT!!!! OH MY GAWD!!!!! i stopped counting how many shots jordan did after like...the 5th. but i think he had 5 of tequila ALONE. a couple of Jacks, and some other stuff... TONS of martinis. omg... mm... chocolate martinis! cherry stem knots! the freaky man in the corner with his drink just standing there watching everyone dance... *shiver* we pretty much got kicked out becuz we stayed til 3, which is the time they close. lol... me and tim! oh yeah baby... i gotta say... i love gay men!! too much fun to be with. i think i must go back to guelph again. guelphies are cool. aha ahaha ha ha heh heh heh heh!! (trying to imitate matt's laugh) *holding a microphone* what?!

ohhhhh good times.
i got back, seriously... at 2:20 this afternoon. cutting it damn close... haha.. orchestra rehersal at 2:30. so tiring! went to warren's to studying, but after a couple hours, just ended up watching this REALLY fucked up movie with his roomies. oh my gawd.... i just got home like 10 minutes ago, and i'm still scared. warren's going to sing k with his roomies and friends, and he gonna call me when he get back, cuz i'm insecure. lol... his roomie was like "you can come over and play cards with us when we get back!" so... i might. if i'm still awake.

jon and me playing phone tag... not fun. :( where is that boy???

i hate how i'm starting to not be able to do homework at home anymore. argh.

so i've been working non stop since 4 today. yeeaaa... orchestra two hours, then i went home to get my rep and back to the practise rooms i go for another hour and a half. i came home, cooked dinner, and then warren msged me to go to the library, so he came over and i ate a bit then went to the library for two and a half hours. and yes, i actually did study for the full 2.5 hours. i was so into it that i didn't notice that warren left TWICE. haha oops. well, anyway, after that, we went to find warren's roomie and amy, this piano girl from school, and we all went to my house to hang out for a bit. this is like midnight now..haha... but then warren's roomie got really allergic to amber so then they left. bleugh. and it's been an hour and i haven't done any work. shiiiiiit. got play and sing tomorrow. i'm sooo screwed. but whatever. dress rehersal for orchestra. whoo hoo. i'm so excited for that! (the performance)

... umm... oh yeah! and warren approves. :D and he's proud of me. hehehe! warren was like "now you're all giddy and happy!" and i was like "yup! of course!" :D

anyways... i better keep goin' at it with my play & sing.... and get some sleep for another fuckin Vandenberg's class.... fuckin skills...

sooo...
um.
1. intensive week... it hasn't been that intensive so far... or anywhere near. i want a hickey from my violin.

2. a little bit speechless... something that happens after i get pissed off at... people.

3. i miss my boy. :( not gonna see him for another.... month? fuckin...school.... exams... i need a car.

4. jordan's birthday on friday... crossing fingers for a ride from kevin's twuck.

5. i have three exams next week. i'm so screwed.

um... anyways.. oh yeah. i'm gonna go now, cuz life's a bitch and i feel like shit.

mmm...

i know this is a bit late, but...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARMEN AND MIKE!!!!

omg... ballroom was so much fun, guys.. i missed seeing everyone... i met a matt!! he goes to aci, toooo and good times in the car- me, carmen, ronell, kate, jesse and matt.
it was sooooo great seeing everyone again, really. we must do this more often. jordan's birthday is coming up. PARTY IN GUELPH! PARTY IN GUELPH!!

jon couldn't make it, i was sad. maybe another time.

***

must plan another excursion to london soon... with my partner in crime.. muahaha

today was... interesting.
i can't say it was awesome, because it wasn't, and i can't say it sucked because it didn't.

i went to my uncle's funeral today. t'was the most depressing thing ever. everyone was cryng. (except like, maybe my brother and some cousins, and the kids) anyway... shit... one kinda freaky part was when we had to take a flower from the basket and place it on him in the coffin. i was a bit nervous. but shit... when my aunt and cousins (his wife and kids) put flowers in the coffin, and my aunt was crying so much. it was so fuckin sad, omg... and the other saddest part was when the funeral workng people made this big scene of closing the coffin. hooooolllyyy shit. i cried sooo much, and so did everyone else.
then we all went to this other little chapel place where the pastor said something, and they went into this little room where my uncle was to be cremated. but he's not cremated yet.. i think it's gonna happen next week. after that, we went to this Chinese restaurant and had lunch. the mood brightened up a bit, and all was good. kinda.

after lunch, went home, got ready, i went to stc to get some stuff, AND i FINALLY got the harry p. lamppost! omg, it's beautiful. oh, also got new jewellery for my piercing. mainly for a shorter post, but then i also got a spike cuz they don't sell posts by themselves. after that, i picked jonathan up and went to frances' house to chill. changed my piercing, hung out a bit, then went to pick up air-ick. we were waiting for him for soooo long! and it was cold outside. but it was all good. jon pushed frances in a shopping cart. haha! i tried to take a picture of it, but my damn camera kept shaking. eric finally came out a little after 8, and we headed back down for KBBQ, where bumped into ebonnie, my old manager at cultures. it was cool seeing her there, and her daughter too. shit.. i feel so bad.. i forgot her name. jon was like, "is her namne ivory?" haha... dinner was awesome, and we went to timmy ho's after, cuz had to spend my funeral dollar. so we chilled at timmy ho's for a bit, then drove everyone home.

i'm really tired now... long day. but was a lovely night.

***

OMG! i remember ebonnie's daughter's name!! it's rachel! yiiiaayyy.. hahha useless information.

this isn't even funny anymore.
i love the M.T class and Ruth sharing her stories from Sick Kids, but i don't know if i can handle all the dying kids. especially at Sick Kids. i feel for them, i really do.

maybe i'm just not right for this career. whatever the fuck.. i'm gonna do it. i'm so out of it today. argh. someone bring me back into the real world.

tomorrow can't come fast enough.

***

i'm ready and i wanna get inked soon. anyone interested in coming with me?

yes? leave a comment or call me.

oh yeah... too many birthdays so i'll just do this all at once:

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY to:

Kevin (sorry, i missed his in September)
Kelvin (yesterday)
Yutat (today)
Lydia (tomorrow i think?)
Carmen (10th)
Mikey (10th)
Christine (10th)
Adrian Wong (haven't seen him in sooooo long) (31st)

it was about 6:30 when it hit all of a sudden...when i was watching a show about volcanos on tv. thanks to paul for calling me back right when i was gonna go practise... no go at KBBQ but he made me feel better.

so this is what it feels like.

i don't know if i have the willpower to go see him on friday night... and then again on saturday morning. for fuck's sake.. i hate funerals.

well, i'm done here.

***

that concert was good.
dwight-el-plix!

so im in the library now. i have orchestra in a little bit. just got new fuckin music. grr.. intensive week hasn't even started and we're already playing stuff for the next concert. paul is hardcore. oh well.

jon called me last night. :D shannon and fran were all like shrieking and giggling. lol honestly...

i found out today that my uncle passed away. well, he had cancer. but still... i never had someone i actually KNOW pass away. and the last time i saw him was pretty recent too... like, two weeks ago.

i can't wait to go home. two more days... ahh! and i have to go to my uncle's funeral. i'll admit, i'm kinda nervous about seeing him lying there in that coffin.

anyway... time for orchestra.

- saw keziah today! i just finished my MT class, and i was heading home, and keziah came in the door, it was so surprising! i was like "omg! what are u doing here?" nad she's like "i go here!" and i'm like "omg!!" haha we chatted for like a minute, but then she had class, so then i went home.

- music @ noon was awesome today! REALLY good compared to the last two weeks. our whole house was there! *tear* so loving...haha! well, i got there first and i sat with joni. well, i sat on his imaginary friend, and i squashed him. sorry. i tried saving shannon a seat, but couldn't, and when shannon came in with yena, i ditched joni. boooourns. i was like "shannon! didn't you SEE who i was sitting with?!" haha oh well. whatever.

- i just finished my aurelia. yiiiaayy.. oh, reminds me, i gotta print out the play nad sing. i think my handwritten copy is wrong. fuckin play and sing. i can't play....and sing for shit.

hm... so blogger decides to work now. fuckers...

anyways! i was gonna post about my weekend last night, but my damn internet doesn't work AGAIN. fuckin rogers... jacob should jumpkick them to hell. haha!

okay.. so friday, i missed my 5:30 greyhound to london. i was sooo pissed off. i had to wait like 40 minutes for the next bus. and then the ride was soooo long and brutal. i was pissed off. i got off the bus and had no idea where i was. i called jon and him and one of his roommates, mike picked me up (cuz mike has a car). we went home, and i met almost all of his roommates (except jacob)and some of his friends. hung out and they pre-drank til about 10:30 then went clubbing. yiiiaayy... i actually got in and STAYED in. fuckin right.. i'm proud of myself! jon bought me a drink at the club. it was actually pretty good. but i decided to stay sober. the club was really nice, and sooo packed. mike got quite drunk, and for a while, our big group got separated and we lost them. sat on the comfy couches and chatted about stuff. jon and i went home first cuz i was sooo tired. when we got home, jacob came home and i got to meet him. suuper nice guy. and other stuff happened.

saturday- got up kinda early.. didn't wanna wake anyone up, so i was kinda bored, waiting for everyone to get up. hung around the house, jon and mike made chicken wings (for breakfast) then we all went grocery shopping. jacob's violent! but so am i, so it's okay. they all spent like a total of $130 on alcohol. subway's for lunch, then grocery shopping. came home... chilled, and then we all wnet to the King's college campus, and they plyed soccer. it was freezing! but pretty fun. but then i was a spectator, but it was still cool. jacob smashed jon to the ground. haha! and then they had a huge male orgy.

just kidding!

anyways... jon showed me around king's, and it looks kinda like a highschool. oh well. when we came back, jon's roommate johanne's gf katie was there. she's so cute. haha! we went to her rez so she could pick up some stuff, then headed home. their friends came over, and le party began. sooo much drinking... not on my part tho. jacob got sooo drunk, it was hilarious. he's such an irony to himself. anyways, jon got drunk and went to sleep, so everyone partied without him, because he refused to get up. i was a little bit disappointed, but meh. met this other girl amanda, who's also a very cool girl. she helped jacob all night, so sweet. how many times did he say fuck, and how many people did he jumpkick and send to hell? haha! hilarious. omg. he kept apologizing and asking why he's swearing so much, he has to be a gentleman. (he IS a gentleman...for fuck's sake!) aww.. chomper, mike's dinosaur got a lot of action that night. he's a dinosaur whore. me, mike, katie, and amanda stayed up til like 5:15am ... so much fun. ate pizza cuz we were starving. mm... it was sooo good. then we went to bed.

sunday- jon and i got up early so he could go play vball with michael landell (yes, the choirboy from ACI). so they played against these other two guys, who raped them. hahaha. no offense or anything... their opponents were really good. i spectated. they finished playing and we went home. most people were awake by then. the four guys were in the basement where jacob's room was and they were like spilling all the details of the night before. me, katie nad amanda were upstaires and just laughed at how they have to share EVERYTHING with each other. it was actually really cute. haha! aww. and when everyone was awake we all made soup. aww... we were all sitting around chatting and eating soup. and then we watched a movie, and i fell asleep near the end cuz i was sooooo tired. i think katie fell asleep for a little bit too. after the movie, i started getting ready to go to the bus station. aww.. i didn't really wanna leave, but meh. jacob was still apologising. ha! jon came with me to greyhound. shady people at Tim Horton's.. eek.

when i got home. my house was freezing and there was so internet. shannon bitched at the Roger's guy, and i broke our kitchen window because it was stuck open and i tried hammering it down. it was all rage, i'll tell ya! i was so cold... we tried turning on the heat and the fuckin fire alarm went off. so pissed. anyways... school-wise.. i feel like i'm so behind. it sucks. i hate skills.

***

the people in the past all seem so childish all of a sudden...

1. my lesson today rocked. i have new rep! yiay Bach!

2. jesum crow (happy shannon?), i HATE macgamut!!! thanks trace for helping me with rhythm!

3. omg, i went to conestoga today to pick up my pictures! omg... pictures from sooooo long ago. like, i had some pics from the end of last school year. with kiel and clayton. omg. and pics from em's birthday, spring concert at ACI (omg, guess which bitch is in one of them. fuck!), dinner with china group people, andrew abela's party, and nique's party!!! omg.. those were lovely pics.. hahaha laura-anne with my violin was hilarrrrious. haha me and mike look hot together. rawr! u know it. mark and maggie on the couch, em and her rain maker, and elliot and his bone drumstick. pictures also from my cousin's wedding.. awwww...

4. expolding and venting at shannon about how much i hate vandenberg and how he is such a bastard AND a horrible teacher.

5. oh my gawd... omg! going to london tomorrow! yiiiaayyy!! i've decided that i'm going to bring clothes. jon was like "yes that would be a good thing... but it's okay if you don't bring them too!" haha and i was like "weeeelll... i said i'll bring them but no one said i'm gonna wear them!" hahaha! hilarious.

6. ok bed time. skills tomorrow. dammmiiiitttt! i hate skills. fuck, i'm already failing. stupid vandenberg. honest to god....